


#Soleria

by Greatescape55555



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Actresses AU, Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25423576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greatescape55555/pseuds/Greatescape55555
Summary: Juliana, a fairly unknown actress, lands her first starring role on a new Netflix Original Series. Valentina Carvajal - one of the most promising actresses in Mexico - plays Valeria, her best friend and romantic interest.Actresses AU
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal & Juliana Valdés, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 437
Kudos: 1458





	1. Table Read

Part 1 - Table Read

It seems like ages since her audition for a role on the new Netflix Original Series “Amor”, but Juliana remembers the day vividly. She had tossed and turned all night, nervous energy coursing through her veins, and she hadn’t fallen asleep until almost dawn. Needless to say, she had overslept on probably the most important day in her life. So, on an empty stomach, she’d rushed downtown to the studio and arrived in the nick of time, feeling a lot less composed than she had planned to be. 

Miraculously, she had nailed her audition and landed her first major starring role as Sofia Chavez on Alejandro Rodriguez’s new Netflix show. The series, set in Mexico, follows the adventures of two girls who - despite their different backgrounds - find a deeper connection than either of them could have anticipated. And even though they both try to fight it, growing emotions – and sizzling attraction – keep drawing them closer together.

She’d been instantly fascinated by the script, the mix of intriguing characters, fluid style, and genre blending – all supported by a fine measure of wit and humor. She’d accepted the role without a second thought, but wat she couldn’t have foreseen was the attention it brought her. 

Her agent had been hesitant about taking the role, unsure whether it would benefit her career. She feared that her role would be frowned upon in a traditional country as Mexico, but Juliana had dismissed Alejandra’s concerns. It made her even more determined to take the role, to make a difference by telling an important story about love regardless of gender, an unconditional love that shouldn’t need justification.

Over the past few weeks she’d been asked countless times how she felt at the prospect of kissing a girl, and her friends had teased her mercilessly about it. Frankly, she didn’t understand the fuss. If she kissed a guy on-screen, then she didn’t see why she couldn’t kiss a girl. It’s just acting. 

She does worry, though, about one import aspect of the production. The episodes will be shot in order and the actors do not receive their script until a week or so before they will be shot, so Juliana has no idea what her character’s fate will be. It’s something she’s never done before and she won’t be able to prepare herself the way she usually does. She won’t be aware for what might come her characters’ way, and portraying Sofia will undoubtedly push her to the limit of her improvisation skills.

It’s an entirely different process, and it’s kind of nerve-wracking. Their talented and young director, Alejandro, wants to create something authentic, the way life is like. She remembers his exact words: “You don’t know when you’ll fall in love, you can’t anticipate the future. In life, you have to improvise. It’s part of the magic.” It’s a huge leap of faith, but it’s a leap worth taking. She chooses to trusts in Alejandro’s artistic skills and vision, and she’s fiercely determined to repay his trust. 

And now, nearly two months later, she’s finally meeting the rest of the cast at the first episode table read. It’s the first time they get to see whether the episode will work. And for a brand new show, it’s make-or-break. Nobody can tell if the cast members have chemistry, or if they can pull off the dialogue that’s been worked over by the writers. No matter how brilliant the script is, a bad actor will still ruin it. 

Juliana releases a shaky sigh, feeling a wave of nervous energy shudder through her. She’s never been one to panic, always cool-headed and steady even under pressure, and even now she somehow manages to keep her composure, but she has never felt so unlike herself before. What if she isn’t good enough? What if her lack of experience is going to be a problem?

She’s done some television shows, a few low budget pictures, but she’s never been a part of such a big production. That prospect alone makes her nervous as hell, but she’s also never been more excited about the next couple of months than she is right this minute. 

Deep in thought, she jumps a little when she feels the soft pressure of a hand on her shoulder. She blinks her eyes and smiles as Alejandro’s face swims into focus beside her, a lock of brown hair falling over his forehead. His kind, brown eyes search her face and he squeezes her shoulder once before letting go. 

“Are you okay?” 

Juliana releases a breathy laugh and nods her head, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

She’s not entirely sure that he believes her, but his friendly smile sets her a bit at ease. She glances around the room, watching her co-stars mingle. She buries her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and turns to face Alejandro fully. 

“Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity,” she says sincerely. “I really appreciate you even being willing to take a chance on me. It means a lot.”

He shakes his head and smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You don’t have to thank me, Juliana.” He looks around for a moment before leaning slightly closer to her. “I’m always on the lookout for promising new talent, and I’ve had my eye on you for some time now.”

Juliana blushes a little at the unexpected compliment and she shifts shyly from one leg to the other, unsure how to respond to that. His smile remains while he takes a moment to search her face, his eyes softening to a pale brown. 

“You’re going to do great, Juliana,” he assures her. “And this character, Sofia.. I can’t imagine anyone else playing her.” 

He keeps her gaze for another second before turning and making his way to Lucho and Sergio, who play Daniel and Gael on the show. Juliana watches him go with a stunned but grateful smile on her face. She takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, the leather of jacket creaking with the movement. She can practically feel her blood coursing through her veins with renewed vigor and determination, and she silently vows not to mess it up. 

She’s determined to let go of the doubt and uncertainty and the lingering what-ifs. She’s determined to let it go because she’d seen no doubt in Alejandro’s eyes and it makes her believe that she might actually pull it off.

Her eyes flicker to movement at the side of the room as two girls step inside, wearing matching smiles. She recognizes the blond girl from the photos she’d seen online, Isabella, Natalia on the show, but Juliana nearly loses her breath at the sight of the girl beside her. 

It’s her. 

Valentina Carvajal. One of the most promising actresses in Mexico, as well as one of the most popular. A picture perfect girl from a well-known and prominent family. And maybe Juliana is slightly intimidated by that fact, because ever since she found out that Valentina Carvajal would play her love interest on the show, she’d been oddly nervous and curious about meeting her. 

But right now, all she can do is stare, stare at the girl’s lithe body and the graceful way she moves through the room like a runway model. Long legs, long hair, high heels, black pencil skirt, and a sleeveless white blouse. Something about her seems to shine and stand out, and Juliana watches in awe as Valentina warmly greets everyone around her with a special brand of charm and graciousness.

Is it unprofessional to admit that she’s attractive? Very attractive? It’s not like she’s into girls or anything, but it doesn’t mean she can’t appreciate another girl’s good looks, does it? She bites back the thought before her mind can consider it any further. 

Then Valentina’s gaze settles on hers, and it’s a jolt of shock through Juliana’s system. She watches how the other girl’s step seems to falter for a second, and Juliana unsuccessfully tries to suppresses a shy smile. Valentina’s lips curl in response, and if possible, it makes her heart pound even harder. 

Juliana can’t help but stare back because she doesn’t think she’s ever seen such strikingly beautiful eyes. Bright blue pools that seem to draw her in and hold her there, because she can’t bring herself to look away. The smile Valentina flashes her way seems to light up the entire room and Juliana’s breath catches in her throat. It makes her features even more appealing and Juliana thinks it’s just rude for someone to be so unfairly beautiful. 

Valentina slowly makes her way towards her, continuing to shake hands with her co-stars, but she keeps stealing glances at Juliana. And Juliana can’t move. She can’t even blink. It’s like she’s frozen to the spot, wrapped in invisible bonds. Her nerves are hot and alive beneath her flesh, and she has no idea what to make of her body’s reaction. She quickly releases the breath she’d been holding, frowning a little at herself. 

This is ridiculous. She’s just a girl, just a person. There’s nothing to be nervous about. But with Valentina watching her, being the full focus of her attention, Juliana feels self-conscious now, too attuned to the flush that blazes across her skin. There’s a strange stirring in her stomach, something warm, and not entirely unpleasant- just unusual.

She can’t help but feel intimidated by the stunning actress. In fact she’s a little taken aback by the other girl’s grace as she crosses the room, heels tapping, standing tall with her chin raised high. She’s almost impossible not to stare at, she’s simply breathtaking. 

And she’s perhaps a bit too explorative with her eyes as she looks the other girl up and down because when those stunning blue eyes return to hers, Valentina drops her head ever so slightly. Juliana does, however, detect a little twinkle of curiosity there, almost as if she’s curious to know the findings of her little exploration.

“Hey,” Valentina greets her softly once she approaches. She stops within arm’s reach, and Juliana feels a little overwhelmed by the genuineness of the other girl’s smile. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Valentina studies her, curious blue eyes tracing her features, and for a moment Juliana thinks she may be able to read the messy, swirling emotion behind her eyes, but if she does, she gives no sight. 

“Hi,” Juliana finally replies and extends her hand into the space between them. “Nice to meet you, too.”

She should be embarrassed about how breathless she sounds. Valentina inclines her head a little, eyes sweeping over her features again, and Juliana forgets how to exhale. She’s almost relieved when those stunning blue eyes slowly drift down to her outstretched hand and Valentina’s lips purse, as if attempting to suppress a smile at the formal greeting. 

After another moment gazing at it, Valentina takes her hand in hers very gently and Juliana feels impossibly long, slender fingers close around her hand. Her skin is softer than she had expected. An unfamiliar, not-quite-painful heat rushes up her arm and she watches bright blue eyes shine back at her. 

She forces herself to act… well, natural. Whatever passes for it in this situation. But her brain hasn’t caught up yet, and she isn’t sure why her stomach won’t stop flipping and squirming. She has to bite her lip in order not to gape at the other woman again, and probably out of habit or reflex, she blurts out, “I’m Juliana.” 

She bites at the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep herself from blushing. Valentina laughs softly in response and the sound causes a smile to blossom over Juliana’s face as well. She feels oddly nervous of being the sole focus of Valentina’s attention.

“Yeah, I know..” Valentina murmurs before her lips spread into a full and startlingly beautiful smile. 

“Right..” Juliana whispers, feeling all sorts of embarrassed. 

She ducks her head and releases a breathy, nervous laugh. It’s kind of unnerving how deeply charmed she is by the girl in front of her. Valentina’s head jerks toward her at the sound, and Juliana swallows as blue eyes flicker over her face with an intensity that causes her heart to skip more beats than it should. 

Valentina studies her face for what feels like an endless moment before she finally breaks their weird staring contest. Her eyes are momentarily hidden beneath incredibly long eyelashes and Juliana thinks of all the magazine covers she’s seen the actress in. She wonders how it is possible for someone to look even more beautiful in person. 

“You know, my friends showed me some pictures, but..” the girl says quietly and Juliana finds herself caught in the blue eyes staring back at her. She doesn’t blink, doesn’t look away as Valentina leans forward a bit as if to hide her words from prying ears, “The pictures didn’t do you justice, though.”

A slow, radiant smile spreads across Valentina’s face and, God, Juliana really can’t cope with this. She isn’t prepared for the way Valentina’s words affect her. Ann odd sensation courses through her, and she’s usually always prepared with the right thing to say, but now she falters. 

She dips her head at the compliment before their eyes connect once again, and they silently watch each other for a moment. Valentina’s expression is so soft and sincere that Juliana almost melts to be on the receiving end of it, and she swears she sees a faint blush rise in the other girl’s cheeks. She has never considered breathing to be a particularly difficult task, but Valentina’s proximity is suddenly making it confusingly complicated. 

Valentina’s eyes on her almost feels like a physical touch, one that leaves heat behind, one that confuses her to no end. And there’s a sense of nervous anticipation that she can’t make sense of. She’s sure the tips of her ears are flaming by now to match the shade of her cheeks. She doesn’t know why she’s so bashful. 

Valentina must finally pick up on her nerves or notice how quiet she’s being because in light of Juliana’s speechlessness, her smile dims a fraction. 

“God, I’m sorry,” Valentina softly exclaims, covering her lips with her free hand, but her eyes still shine when she looks at Juliana. “I have a habit of blurting out whatever is on my mind. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

Valentina’s fingers twitch in her hand and they both look down, realizing that they’re still touching, still connected. It sends a confusing spark through Juliana’s chest. She stares at Valentina’s delicate hand for a few seconds before clearing her throat and letting go, nervously readjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder instead.

“No, it’s okay,” she replies softly, feeling… well, she’s not sure what she’s feeling. “I’m kind of flattered, really.” 

She struggles to focus on Valentina’s face. Blue eyes are watching her and Juliana takes a deep breath, pleased to find that it’s no longer shaky. “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

It takes her a moment to realize that the words did in fact come from her own mouth. Valentina blinks, a surprised little smile on her expression. Juliana exhales a small laugh and sparkling blue eyes light up at the sound. And then she smiles, a beautiful, slow-blossoming thing that transforms her entire face, her nose scrunching up in a series of adorable ripples while her cheekbones raise to reveal shallow dimples. And Juliana drinks it all in, her heart beating oddly fast. 

Valentina looks down for a moment before raising her eyes to Juliana’s again. “Well, Juliana, I really look forward to working with you.” 

She smiles so genuinely that it takes Juliana’s breath away, the barely restrained excitement shining just behind her bright blue eyes, and there’s that sensation again, the gentle vibration running through her stomach. Valentina watches her silently, looking like she wants to say more but not knowing quite how to phrase it. 

Alejandro’s voice breaks the silence, though Juliana wonders how long it actually lasted. It feels like minutes, but she’s pretty sure it’s been only seconds. 

“Everyone, please take your seats. We are ready to begin,” he calls out, clapping his hands together. “I know every soul here has a tight schedule, so let’s get started.” 

Valentina flashes her a soft smile and runs a slender hand through her hair, brushing it to one side. “This is going to be fun,” she softly exclaims and her unadulterated excitement looks beautiful on her. She’s positively glowing and, God, she’s pretty. Way too pretty. 

Juliana shakes her head with a smile, and the prolonged look they share almost makes her forget about Alejandro’s request. The increasingly loud and excited chatter around her finally snaps her out of this… trance, or whatever the hell she was in. She inhales deeply and allows herself one last glance at those blue eyes, before she turns to find her seat.

She’s only able to take two quick steps forward when she bumps – rather unceremoniously - into another body. The man’s quick reflexes stop her from falling down and she feels herself being pulled forward by a strong arm wrapped around her waist. She instinctively reaches out to steady herself by placing her hands on the man’s arms, her fingers automatically flexing against the muscles under the expensive material of his shirt. 

She gasps and looks up to find Sergio’s amused eyes on her. “Whoa, easy there, now,” he smirks, taking a small step back. He gives her a quick once over to make sure she’s okay before he flashes Juliana his most charming smile. “If you wanted to hug me, all you had to do was ask for it.”

Juliana shakes her head, slightly embarrassed, and loosens her grip on his arms. She feels Valentina’s eyes on her but Sergio holds her attention by saying, “It’s okay, though. I don’t blame you.”

Juliana frowns and huffs out a breathy laugh, wiping a hand through her hair. “Well, that’s good to know.”

Sergio shrugs his shoulders, his lips curling into a teasing grin. “I know I’m hard to resist.”

Juliana laughs out loud now, mostly out of reflex, enjoying the easy banter between them. 

“I suppose I’ll have to learn to contain myself somehow,” she teases. 

“Please, don’t..” Sergio teases back, winking. 

Juliana can’t help it. She grins at that, shaking her head. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Sergio offers her another grin and brushes past her to take his seat beside Lucho. Juliana then turns to Valentina, but the other girl is looking at Sergio with a look that Juliana can’t quiet place. It’s over before she can ponder over it, because Valentina has turned back to her, smiling again. She catches Juliana’s wrist with her long, delicate fingers, giving it the tiniest of squeezes. 

“That’s what you get for being so beautiful,” she whispers with complete sincerity, and her half-grin, the flash of white teeth, how she tips her head to the side, sets Juliana’s heart racing.

Before Juliana can reply, Valentina releases her wrist and turns on her heel, heading for her arranged seat. And Juliana can’t help but stare, feeling a weird kind of magnetic pull that she has to fight to resist. Her gaze lingers longer than she would ever admit before she forces herself into action. She takes her seat between Valentina and Margarita, her on-screen mother.

She’s too busy watching Lucho stare at Valentina that she misses Margarita’s words directed at her. Lucho’s practically drooling all over Valentina and Juliana can’t really blame him for it. However, an unexpected and unwelcome irritation prickles beneath her skin and she clenches her jaw, willing the feeling to go away. 

“Juliana?” Margarita’s voice snaps her back into the moment. She turns towards the woman beside her and catches her warm brown eyes. 

“I said it’s nice to finally meet my daughter,” Margarita smiles and lightly touches her shoulder. “I’ve never told anyone this, ever, and don’t you ever repeat it to Mario. I love him, I love him terribly, but I always wanted a daughter.”

Juliana smiles at the woman’s words, not really sure how to respond to that. It doesn’t help that she can practically feel Valentina’s eyes on her, causing her to feel strangely tremulous. 

“Well, it’s an honor to play your daughter for the next few months,” Juliana says genuinely, offering the woman a warm smile. 

Beside her impressive resume and striking good looks, there’s something more about Margarita that Juliana’s likes but can’t quite put her finger on. Maybe it’s the kindness, the genuineness in her expression, but then Alejandro starts speaking, so Juliana turns her mind to that instead.

* *

They sit at a large table in the middle of the room, while the writers, Alejandro, and the producers sit around the edges, listening and taking notes. Lucho and Sergio are currently reading their lines, but Juliana finds herself distracted by the girl beside her.

Valentina is looking intently at script, almost like she’s evaluating the words, her lips moving slightly with the dialogue, and Juliana has to look away upon realizing that she’s staring. She sits back in her chair and scoops her hair up into a messy bun, her eyes firmly on the script. 

“Well, that’s just rude,” Valentina whispers, glancing over at Juliana as she finishes putting up her hair.

The other girl regards her silently and Juliana tries to remember words. Any words. A single word. 

“What?” she finally chokes out, and Valentina’s soft laughter wraps around her, sending a warm tingle down her spine. 

“You have the most incredible profile,” Valentina whispers after a moment, a smile lingering around the corners of her mouth. 

Juliana can’t help it; she lets out a short, stunned laugh. She’s even more at loss for words now. It’s disconcerting, how Valentina’s gazing at her, blue eyes roaming intently over her face. She wishes her body would stop reacting at every damn word that comes out of the other girl’s mouth. 

She doesn’t know how to respond, so she gazes down at the script, her head spinning with the resonating echo of Valentina’s melodious laugh. She wonders what is wrong with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. Is it worth continuing?


	2. Table Read Pt.2

Part 2 - Table Read

In Juliana’s first scene, her character Sofia is watching a movie with her best friend Valeria, sitting close together on the couch. As if on cue, Valentina shifts a little closer to her, and Juliana draws in a shuddering breath to calm her frazzled nerves. She glances down at the script before her, rereading the words she’d already memorized.

She can practically feel everyone’s eyes on her and it’s making her extremely self-conscious. She tries to keep her cool, even though she’s freaking out on the inside, and she fiddles absently with her necklace. They’re probably all wondering why she’s here, why Alejandro choose a relatively unknown actress for one of the lead roles. What if they’re right? What if..

A gentle hand on her thigh beneath the table snaps her out of her of her downward spiral, and she glances up to find Valentina’s blue eyes already on her. She freezes in surprise and all kind of other emotions that she is not even able to name at this moment. Valentina’s perfectly manicured eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly, as if to ask if she’s okay, and Juliana feels oddly touched by the genuine care in the other girl’s expression. 

Valentina continues to surprise her in every single confusing way. She isn’t at all the person Juliana had expected her to be. She’d never imagined the actress to be so nice and attentive and considerate. She’d never expected her to be so down to earth despite her wealth and fame. 

They regard each other silently for a moment and Juliana feels the warmth of the other girl’s hand seeping through the fabric of her jeans. The heat seems to radiate through her body, soothing her frazzled nerves as effectively as a massage, and the prolonged look they share almost makes Juliana forget about the other people sitting around the table. Almost.

She fights a bashful smile that wants to spread across her face and nods her head once, not breaking eye contact. Valentina flashes her a soft smile and squeezes her thigh gently before she draws her hand back, but so slowly that it’s almost like a caress. Juliana inhales sharply through her nose and swallows, dragging her eyes away from the stunning girl beside her. 

She focuses all her attention on the script and she knows what’s coming, but her heart still skips a beat when Valentina’s soft voice fills the room.

VALERIA  
(whispers)  
I think he likes you.

Valentina bumps their shoulders together gently and Juliana gazes up to look at her. Blue eyes are twinkling with amusement and Juliana scrunches her eyebrows together like she’s trying real hard to understand. 

SOFIA  
Who?

VALERIA  
Daniel!

Juliana scoffs and scrunches her nose in distaste. 

SOFIA  
No, he doesn’t. Why would you even think that?

VALERIA  
Well…

Valentina’s lips pull with a smile as her gaze dances over Juliana’s face. 

VALERIA  
Isn’t it obvious? Have you seen the way he looks at you? 

Valentina waves her hands to emphasize her point, and Juliana swears she can feel the other girl’s energy fill the room. She’s fairly certain they’re only supposed to read their lines out loud, not to actually perform the scene, but they just can’t seem to help themselves. 

VALERIA  
He just can’t take his eyes off you.

Juliana shakes her head in denial and runs a hand through her hair. 

SOFIA  
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

The words are more nervous coming out of her mouth than she expected, and the fact that each breath seems to take a little effort is something Juliana doesn’t probe, focusing instead on her lines. 

VALERIA  
Oh, come on, Sof. Don’t play dumb with me.

Valentina shifts to fully face her, a challenge in her eyes. She no longer looks at the script, as if she’d already memorized all her lines.

VALERIA  
And, well, I can’t blame him. 

Valentina lets the smallest of smiles touch her lips and Juliana’s heart jumps into her throat at the way those blue eyes sear into her and never once look away. There is actually what appears to be a spark of thrill in them and it makes her stomach flip. 

VALERIA  
I mean, have you seen yourself?

Juliana scoffs and she hopes her nervous laugh merely comes off as a piece of intelligent acting. 

VALERIA  
You’re very pretty.

Valentina’s gaze dances over her lips only briefly but it is enough to make Juliana’s heart thunder in her chest and then in her ears. She rolls her eyes, mostly to hide the sudden shyness rushing through her.

Valentina’s voice is quieter when she adds, “In fact you’re beautiful.” 

The words are barely a whisper, a quiet confession meant only for Juliana’s ears. She doesn’t recall reading those words in the script, and she cannot describe the odd feeling in her chest, the almost overwhelming need to lean even closer to the other girl. Instead, she bites her lip and ducks her head because her cheeks are hot and she doesn’t want to call attention to them. 

SOFIA  
Val..

When her gaze drops, Valentina brings her hand up, fingertips trailing along Juliana’s jaw to coax her eyes back up. The look Valentina gives her then, like she’s something extraordinarily precious, makes Juliana’s stomach do somersaults. It almost feels like they’re having an actual, real, conversation and she bites her lips to fight their wild stretch but it’s extremely ineffective. 

She shifts her weight a little and there’s a second when she thinks Valentina might lean into it a little, but then she thinks maybe she only imagined it. It’s a thought that, like nearly all thoughts relative to Valentina, has Juliana’s body rebelling against her brain, because her heart rate raises anyway. 

VALERIA  
What? I’m just being honest, that’s all.

Valentina slowly pulls back her hand and something tangible and electric grows between them when their eyes lock again. Valentina’s eyes are a new shade of blue and Juliana lets out a soft, almost nervous laugh. 

She watches the way the other girl’s face breaks into a smile, and it’s so wide and in no way subtle or tempered. It may not even be a conscious decision. Juliana knows because she feels her mouth do exactly the same in response.

VALERIA  
I think you like him, too.

Juliana shakes her head, gazing down at her hands in her lap.

SOFIA  
No, I don’t.

Valentina reaches up again and gently cups her hands around Juliana’s cheeks, forcing her to look at her. She strokes Juliana’s cheekbones with her thumbs and there’s a small, stunned moment that passes between them, quick like a zap of electricity. Juliana closes her eyes at the sensation and fights the urge to lean into the touch. 

A warm sensation flows through her body, up through her spine, making her fingers tingle. Such innocent contact shouldn’t feel so good, but her body seems to disagree. It’s a feeling she doesn’t know what to do with. She feels strange suddenly; overcome by a flurry of emotions that make no sense to her. 

VALERIA  
Are you sure?

Juliana releases the breath she had been holding for the last several seconds and opens her eyes. She reaches up to wrap her fingers around the other girls slender wrists, feeling her pulse beneath her touch. She doesn’t care that they’re not supposed to touch during the table read, she’s too overwhelmed to care. She can smell the shampoo in Valentina’s hair, the mint on her breath, and it takes her a moment to remember her line. 

SOFIA  
More than sure.

Her voice is low and raspy as it exits her lips quieter than intended and she scoots a half-inch closer without thought. And when she lifts her eyes to look at the other girl, the intensity of electric blue quite literally steals Juliana’s breath. She’s so close. Too close.

“Well, that’s just beautiful, girls!” Alejandro’s voice snaps them back into reality and Valentina’s hands fall away from her face. “You did a great job. I knew you two would be the perfect match! I knew it! You two have some serious chemistry going on.”

Juliana blinks, and just like that the moment’s gone. Valentina smiles, dropping her head just a bit so that her hair falls over her face and hide it, and Juliana finds it endearing and beautiful. She slumps back in her seat and lets out a shaky breath that borders on an awkward laugh. Her leg brushes against Valentina’s as she moves, and she’s irritated with herself for noticing.

Valentina and her had never run lines together, but the dialogue rolled right out of them as if they were the dorks having this cute little conversation. It almost felt real. She dismisses the thought quickly, almost scoffing aloud at its foolishness. It was just an act. 

Her brain is a whirlwind of thoughts, and she just needs it to calm. She puts a hand on her forehead to disguise just how flustered she is, and she gives herself a moment to let that pulsing sensation ebb. It wasn’t real. 

* *

Juliana is fairly certain she hadn’t heard a single thing that’s been said for the last few minutes. She’s only been aware of the way the side of Valentina’s leg is pressing against her own. She wonders if Valentina’s a touchy person by nature. Not that she objects that the other girl’s body always seems to be near her. 

She reaches for her water bottle and fiddles with the plastic cap, alternating between loosening and tightening it. However, she can’t help but feel distracted by Valentina’s proximity. She’s distracted by her scent. Her presence alone makes Juliana feel as if she’s wearing a corset, unable to pull in air. 

So what if she finds Valentina attractive? Lots of people have to find her attractive. Lots of people have to find her interesting. It doesn’t have to mean anything. But the prospect of working alongside the other girl seems dangerous if Valentina is so easily unbalancing her right now, just by sitting beside her. But there is a grander picture, one that she has a responsibility and commitment to, and she clings to that thought.

“Okay, Valentina and Lucho, you’re up next,” Alejandro says, looking between the two of them. “Remember, you’re nearing the end of your relationship.” 

Valentina nods her head and turns her eyes toward her script, folding her hands on the table. 

GAEL  
Let’s go out for dinner tonight.

VALERIA  
I can’t. 

GAEL  
Why not?

VALERIA  
I already made plans.

Valentina doesn’t seem half as involved in her scene with Lucho, speaking her words almost robotically, her gaze fixed upon the script. 

GAEL  
With who?

When Juliana steals a glance at the girl beside her, she catches the last heartbeat of a smile and glowing blue eyes, fixed on her face, not on the script in front of her. Valentina resolves her features into a natural expression, but not before the image burns into Juliana’s memory and knocks the wind out of her chest.

VALERIA   
Sofia.

Valentina’s elbow leans gently against hers and she’s not even sure if the other girl is aware of the soft action, but Juliana definitely is. She decides not to draw attention to it, not wanting to risk the loss of Valentina’s warmth. The urge to be physically close to this girl confuses her, but the feeling will pass. Right? She tries to dismiss the fact that some part of her doesn’t want it to. 

GAEL  
Sofia? Again? You see her all the time! 

VALERIA  
Gael, please don’t make a scene.

Juliana can’t stop herself from watching, almost mesmerized, how Valentina pronounces each word that comes out of her mouth. 

GAEL  
Make a scene? You two are always attached at the hip, Vale! I am your boyfriend, I should be your first priority.

VALERIA  
Oh, please, Gael. Not this again. Just because you’re my boyfriend doesn’t make me your property. 

Lucho grabs Valentina’s arm rather forcefully and Valentina’s head snaps up, clearly annoyed at his action. Juliana narrows her eyes and clenches her teeth together in quiet rage. She has always wondered what it might feel like to punch someone in the face, and she isn’t entirely opposed to the idea of finding out right now.

GAEL  
Baby, talk to me. Tell me why you treat me this way, as if you don’t care, why you never spend time with me anymore. 

“Let go of my arm and perhaps I’ll tell you,” Valentina replies, with a sharpness to her voice that surprises Juliana.

Lucho scrunches his brows in confusion and releases her arm, glancing down at the script. “Wait.. That’s not in the script.”

“It doesn’t say you manhandling me either, right?” Valentina spits out, clearly not bothering to hide her annoyance.

Lucho actually flushes at her words and Juliana feels a ripple of satisfaction radiate through her bones at this. 

“Lucho, this is a table read,” Alejandro calls out, emphasizing the last word. His voice is uncharacteristically stern. “Just stick with the lines, okay?”

“But..” Lucho starts, motioning his hand between Valentina and Juliana, “they just-“

He looks like he’s about to argue the point, but Alejandro’s sharp glance silences Lucho as effectively as any verbal rebuke. Lucho heaves a defeated sigh and runs his hands through his hair, slumping back in his seat.

Juliana can’t help but to reach out and touch Valentina’s forearm, effectively gaining her attention. She cocks her head to the side in silent question and Valentina’s expression smooths out, the corners of her lips tilting up. 

“I’m okay,” she mouths, and there’s that look in her eyes again. Soft yet intense. It makes Juliana’s heart trip.

Her eyes crinkle at the edges, and Juliana feels an odd surge of affection for this girl she barely knows. They hold each other’s gaze a moment until Lucho’s voice draws their attention back to the scene. It takes Juliana longer to shift her attention away from Valentina - blessed with the opportunity to study her without anyone else noticing, and she takes full advantage of the opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your response to the first chapter :) I love to hear your thoughts.


	3. Table Read Pt. 3

Part 3 - Table Read

The following hours go rather smoothly and Juliana feels satisfyingly exhausted when they finish the table read. It’s the first time she feels actually at home in a work environment, and though she knows things might change once filming starts, she’s glad to be a part of this unique group of people. She leans back against her seat, stretching her arms over her head and stretching her legs at the same time, feeling the muscles in her back and shoulders ache. 

“Long day, huh?” Valentina murmurs beside her and when their gazes find each other, a completely unrestrained smile grows across the other girl’s face, taking root in her lips and bursting into bloom in her eyes. It’s the kind of smile that Juliana firmly believes nobody should be capable of. 

She’s momentarily distracted by the way Valentina brushes her hair off her shoulder, and takes a second before responding to her question. “Yeah,” Juliana manages to choke out and bites the inside of her cheek to tame her own all-too-wide smile.

She’s glad when Alejandro’s voice forces her to look away from those gorgeous blue eyes and she straightens up in her seat. “Okay, people, one last thing,” he calls out and casts his eyes around the group gathered together around the large table. “Successful people haven’t got to where they are today by following everyone else’s lead. So, I want you all to be creative, to take risks. Add something extra to the scene. Do whatever feels right. Improvise.”

He remains silent for a moment before he adds, “Just give me your all. That’s all I ask.”

Juliana nods her head, catching Valentina’s eyes once again, and the room goes from almost complete silence to downright noisy. She sees the smile upon the other girl’s face, a reflection of her own excitement, and her body buzzes with anticipation of the coming months. They hold each other’s gaze for a moment before they gather their belongings, preparing themselves to leave the place and return home. 

Margarita hugs her briefly before she leaves and Juliana watches her walk away with a smile. Valentina lingers beside her, adjusting and readjusting the thin leather strap of her bag over her shoulder. Juliana thinks the other girl looks nervous, although she can’t imagine why. She gets unsteadily to her feet and slings her bag onto her shoulder, ready to go. 

Valentina looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t get the chance to voice whatever’s on her mind before Sergio’s appears at their side, eyes darting between them. There’s a flash of disappointment on Valentina’s face but she masks it with a smile.

“Hey, wanna grab a drink?” Sergio addresses Juliana directly, flashing Valentina a brief smile.

Juliana blinks her eyes in surprise at the boy’s request and she doesn’t understand why his gaze remains glued on her face and not on the stunning girl beside her. She can’t tell if he’s flirting or just being his smooth self, but it makes her slightly uncomfortable. Her attention shifts from Valentina to Sergio and back again, noting the thin line of Valentina’s lips, the slight narrowing of her eyes.

“Oh, no..” she says, forcing a smile. “I’m exhausted. But thanks for the invite.”

She sees the way Sergio’s expression falls in the half second before he composes himself and plasters his most charming smile on his face. “Sure I can’t tempt you for a drink?”

Juliana glances at Valentina who keeps a neutral face but noticeably swallows against whatever it is she’s feeling. “No, maybe some other time.”

Sergio sighs in disappointment and shrugs his shoulders. “Shame.. Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”

He offers her another toothy smile before he brushes past her, deliberately giving her shoulder a nudge. Juliana frowns and shakes her head, looking up to find Valentina watching her. A smile curves the girl’s lips, but doesn’t reflect in her eyes. 

“He doesn’t waste any time, does he?” Valentina murmurs, looking almost pensive. Her gaze shifts to Sergio for a second, her jaw clenching, before her eyes capture Juliana’s again.

Juliana watches the way something changes in the other girl’s expression and, for a second, her heart stops when Valentina’s eyes slowly drift down to her lips. They dart back up a second later and her smile is so wide and true, Juliana’s breath catches at the sight. 

“I think you have an admirer,” Valentina teases, leaning slightly closer to her. And it feels like a déjà vu, as though they’re replaying the first scene between Valeria and Sofia. 

“Oh, stop it,” she counters with a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “Then he’s wasting his time.” 

Juliana grins but stops when she sees how the expression on Valentina’s face has changed again. It’s softer, more exposed and Juliana unknowingly bites her lip.

“He’s not your type?” A small, nervous-sounding laugh laces Valentina’s question. There’s maybe even a tiny hint of a blush on her cheeks.

A current of nervous tension runs between them and it’s making Juliana antsy. She shoves her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and shrugs. “I guess he’s kind of cute, but I’m not interested in hooking up with a guy right now.” 

Valentina looks like she wants to say something. She looks like she wants to ask a million questions. Juliana holds her breath because she knows that she doesn’t want to answer any of them right now. She suddenly feels very vulnerable, though she doesn’t know why. She thinks maybe it has to do with the fact that it’s like her entire body wakes whenever Valentina’s near. 

She’s eager to get away from the other girl, if only for the chance to breathe fresh air not charged with the strange sort of tension that seems to dance between them whenever they are near one another. She gulps back all the weird things she feels and looks over her shoulder at the door. 

“I should go..”

Valentina bites her lip, her light brown locks framing her chiseled, angelic face. “Got somewhere to be?”

“Lots of things to do. I don’t wanna be late, so..” she gestures vaguely, indicating she has to go. 

Valentina nods. “Right.”

The way Valentina’s staring at her now does nothing to help calm the thundering of Juliana’s pulse. She clears her throat and runs a hand through her hair. “Well, I see you soon.” 

Juliana turns to leave but just as she turns, Valentina reaches for her wrist and stops her. The little electric shock that jumps between them crackles in Juliana’s chest. Valentina runs her thumb across the fragile skin of her inner wrist, and when Juliana turns to look at her in quiet confusion, Valentina’s blue eyes are so clear and pretty that it forces a gulp in her throat. 

“What do you do on Thursday?” 

Juliana is taken aback by the girl’s question and, when she glances down, she doesn’t understand why the hand around her wrist doesn’t feel out of place. She’s struggling to catch her breath even though her lungs continue to take in air as normal.

“Um.. Nothing, I guess.. Why?” she manages to ask. 

Valentina glances down for a second and her body becomes more awkward than Juliana has ever seen it. She runs her free hand through her hair, brushing her long locks over one shoulder, and lets out a soft laugh. 

Valentina stares at her for a long second, still smiling softly, before she finally speaks. “Do you want to come over to rehearse our lines together?” Her voice is soft and slow like if she says it too quickly Juliana might bolt. It’s not far off from the way Juliana feels, but she’s too overwhelmed to move.

Her heart jumps in her chest and Valentina’s fingers are too near the pulse point of her wrist; she’s going to know. She’s going to feel the jump in her heart rate. Valentina chews on her lip as she waits for Juliana’s response.

“Come over to your place?” Juliana repeats, not entirely sure if she’s heard her right, and she feels herself breathing out as Valentina withdraws her hand slowly. Gently. 

“Yeah,” Valentina nods, watching her carefully. “I’m sorry if this crosses the line for you or anything, but..” she trails off, but there’s a hopeful look in her eyes that makes Juliana’s heart rate increase. She takes a deep breath against it. 

“I think it’d be good for us to spend some time together,” Valentina continues, wrapping her hands together in front of her. “I mean, to get to know each other a little better. Only if you want to, of course.” 

She sounds nervous and it gives Juliana an odd sense of courage. There’s something so genuine, so pure about the other girl, something she can’t fathom or explain. Valentina’s eyes roam over her face and Juliana pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, feeling a nervous spark inside her chest.

“Okay, I’d like that.” The words are out of her mouth before she fully realizes what she’s saying and she watches Valentina’s eyes widen like she didn’t really expect her to accept her offer.

“Yeah?” Valentina whispers, exhaling like she’s been holding her breath as well. 

“Yeah..” 

Valentina laughs in response. It’s a soft sound, more of a sudden sigh of relief than anything, and then she’s practically vibrating with excitement, nearly jumping forward to hug Juliana. “That’s so great! It’s going to be awesome, Juls.”

After her initial shock – does this girl even know the definition of personal space? - Juliana sighs and hugs Valentina back, her arms folding around the girl’s slim waist. She inhales Valentina’s scent and attempts to ignore how her body is reacting to the other girl’s proximity. No, she promises herself that it doesn’t affect her at all. But there’s a small voice in the back of her mind calling her a liar.

“I’m sure it will,” she mumbles and smiles at the sound of Valentina’s laughter, clear and bright in her ear. Neither of them move and they just hold each other for a long moment. Juliana wonders how long it actually lasted. It feels like minutes, but she’s pretty sure it’s been only seconds. 

Valentina slowly lets her go, but doesn’t take a step back, her body heat reaching easily through Juliana’s clothes. She reaches out a hand and twists a strand of Juliana’s dark hair around her finger, and the dazzling flash of her smile, makes Juliana’s heart clutch.

“Just what I needed after such a long day,” Valentina whispers in a tone that can only be described as intimate. Juliana’s cheeks feel a little warm at the sound of it. With a gentle clearing of her throat, she shifts a little to put some space between them.

Valentina laughs this soft, breathy thing and covers her mouth with her hand. “Oh, God, I’m sorry,” she breathes out. “I guess my friends are right after all. I don’t have a filter. I’m sorry for my bluntness.”

Juliana pulls her lips between her teeth to suppress another bright smile that threatens to break across her face. “No, it’s okay.”

She can’t stop her eyes from drifting and her gaze momentarily slips down to the other girl’s lips. Her heart stops and then restarts, beating twice as fast. Suddenly panicked at her own thoughts, she averts her eyes and looks down. 

“Well, I’m leaving now,” she blurts out, gesturing toward the exit. “I’ll see you on Thursday then.”

“Thursday,” Valentina agrees and her smile is so attractive, Juliana can’t even begin to articulate all the confusing fluttery and squirmy feelings it gives her.

“Okay, bye,” she breathes out and quickly makes her way toward the exit of the room, bidding the rest of the group a brief goodbye.

Valentina stares after her retreating form and releases the breath she’s been holding. “Yeah, bye..” 

* *

It’s already dark when Juliana arrives at her apartment. Before she can search through her pockets for her key, the door flies open. Deborah stands in the doorway to her apartment and Juliana doesn’t understand why she’s so surprised to find her best friend here. She’s practically moved in with her after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend.

Her long hair is wet and untidy and her eyes widen upon seeing her. “You’re finally here!” Deborah exclaims and hugs her briefly before she quite literally drags Juliana into her apartment. “I thought I was going to have to send out a search party.”

Juliana rolls her eyes at her friend’s antics and wrestles her arm free. “Deb, what are you doing here?”

Deborah swivels around – her dark hair flying with the sudden movement - and holds up her phone. “Why didn’t you answer my messages? I was actually starting to get worried!”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Juliana pauses at the faux offended expression on Deborah’s face, a grin tracing her lips. “It’s not like I was busy or something.” 

“Too busy for me? Your oldest friend? Not even a thumbs-up emoji?” Deborah clutches her heart dramatically and Juliana can’t help but snort. “Here I thought you cared about me.”

Juliana rolls her eyes. “Stop being a drama queen already.”

“Stop being a diva,” Deborah counters, and she tries to look sternly but fails miserably. Juliana finds herself laughing before her best friend rolls her eyes and joins in too. 

They make their way into the living room and Juliana drops her bag on the ground, plopping down onto the couch. She huffs and looks over at the clock on her wall; letting out an exhausted sigh when she sees it’s a quarter after nine. 

“You look like you can use some food in that thin stomach,” Deborah quips, and she doesn’t wait for Juliana’s answer, typing away at her phone.

Juliana watches her friend disappear into the kitchen and she feels her lips curl up in response. It’s become their routine. The two of them eat together almost every day; they take turns in cooking dinner and shopping for it. She loves having her friend around - she gives great massages and has an endless supply of jokes - but mostly, she’s the sweetest, most caring person Juliana knows. 

“I ordered us a pizza,” Deborah yells from the kitchen. “It’ll be here soon.” 

She returns a moment later with two glasses of wine and hands her one. Juliana smiles up at her best friend. “You’re a lifesaver, Deb.”

“That’s right,” Deborah smiles and drops herself unceremoniously into the couch beside her, spilling some of her wine. “Don’t you ever forget that when you’re rich and famous.”

A soft laugh falls from Juliana’s lips and she takes a slow sip of her wine. “You won’t let me.”

Deborah grins, shrugging, “No I won’t. Someone has to make sure you keep your feet on the ground.”

Juliana shakes her head and chuckles, amused by her friend’s teasing. Deborah’s eyes sweep over her and she whistles. “Look at you, all dressed up, my pretty friend.” 

“You call this dressed up?” Juliana asks incredulously, looking down at herself. “Faded jeans, a casual red shirt and a worn leather jacket?”

Deborah snorts. “Well, it works for you.”

Juliana looks up to the ceiling and laughs before rubbing her hands over face. 

“So…” Deborah drags the word out, watching her curiously. “What is she like?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos :) I really love to read your thoughts.


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update for now, but the next part will be longer. I promise.  
> Enjoy and thanks again for all your comments and kudos :)

Part 4 

“So…” Deborah drags the word out, watching her curiously. “What is she like?”

The question catches Juliana off guard and she nearly chokes on her sip of wine. She manages to swallow safely without coughing and sets her glass aside, ignoring the slight shake of her hands. Her heart beats hard enough to feel like a fist thudding against her chest, and she isn’t sure why.

She shakes her head at herself and slowly settles back into the cushions of the couch, trying and failing to come up with the right words to describe the actress. She’s not sure if she can actually find any words that will do her justice. 

“That bad, huh?” Deborah asks, misreading her silence, and it startles Juliana into meeting her eyes.

“No, not at all,” she quickly counters, feeling almost offended on Valentina’s behalf. It surprises her, the sensation, but she doesn’t fight it. “She’s really great, actually.”

Deborah studies her a for a moment before quirking her lips into a smile, sitting back down fully. She props her feet on the coffee table and turns her head to look at Juliana. 

“Okay. Well, then tell me about her,” she asks again, and she sounds genuinely interested to hear her thoughts. 

“I’m sure you’ve googled her by now,” Juliana grins, nudging their shoulders together. “So, you probably know more about her than I do.” 

“I guess you know me too well, huh,” Deborah chuckles and takes a large swig of her wine. Juliana watches her friend’s expression change from amusement to something slightly more serious. “But I’m not talking about who she’s dating or which party she attends. I’m talking about-”

“She’s dating someone?” Juliana cuts her off, feeling her stomach lurch.

She blinks, her own reaction confusing her. Why does she even care? It’s a ridiculous, instinctual reaction that she now wishes she could have stopped, noticing the surprised expression on her best friend’s face. For some unfathomable reason, it hadn’t occurred to her to consider the possibility that Valentina was dating someone. 

Deborah turns so that her whole body is facing Juliana, almost vibrating with disbelief. “Oh my God, Juls. Seriously? Have you been living under a rock? She’s dating some American actor. What’s his name again? John? No, Jason. It’s been all over the Internet!” 

Juliana swallows hard, flinching at the sudden tightness in her throat, and she tries to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. 

“You know I don’t care about celebrity gossip,” she says, feigning disinterest, folding her arms defensively across her chest.

Deborah tilts her head to the side and Juliana tries not to shrink under her friend’s scrutiny. “Well, it seems like you care now,” she asks, her voice surprisingly gentle.

Something akin to panic overwhelms Juliana and she tries to tamp down her rioting emotions, feeling way too confused to describe what she’s feeling to herself, let alone her friend. 

“No, I don’t. Stop psychoanalyzing me,” she snaps, and seeing Deborah’s pout, she immediately regrets her tone of voice. But she’s too tired and confused to apologize. Instead, she reaches for her glass to distract herself and after another moment of silence, Deborah speaks up again. 

“Okay..” she starts, clearly surprised by Juliana’s defensiveness, but not ready to let her off the hook so easily. “But you didn’t answer my question. What is she like? Not the actress Valentina Carvajal, but what about her. What is she like?”

Juliana stares into her lap before answering, honestly thinking about the question. She knows Valentina drinks some weird looking tea through a thin metal straw, has a habit of blurting out whatever’s on her mind, and that she’s a very touchy person. 

She knows Valentina is kind and sweet and gentle and passionate and that her laughter lights up an entire room. But she doesn’t know her favorite color or the name of her first childhood pet, if she even had any. And Juliana realizes that while it was always her intention to just work with Valentina, she wants to get to know her. She wants to learn more things about her mind and heart. 

She takes another moment to find the words, feeling the weight of Deborah’s eyes on her the entire time. “Well...” she starts, biting her lip. “She’s really beautiful and… intense.” 

Juliana closes her eyes, the imprint of Valentina seared on the inside of her eyelids. She can still see the other girl’s smile, a slow-blossoming thing that transforms her entire face, and Juliana feels an involuntary smile creeping across her own features in response. 

“She’s adorable, talented, smart, caring.. And so kind it’s actually ridiculous.”

She doesn’t tell her best friend that Valentina is unlike anyone else she’s ever met. She doesn’t tell her about all the confusing sensations she’d been experiencing in the girl’s presence. She doesn’t tell her how she can still feel Valentina’s touch on her face. She doesn’t really believe it herself, so why should she?

Deborah’s watching her with a curious smile and Juliana runs a hand through her hair, feeling slightly breathless. And she’s too late to stop her next words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Oh and did I mention she’s unfairly beautiful?”

A soft, breathy laugh falls from her lips and a confused sort of grin spreads over Deborah’s face, her fingers tapping against the wine glass in her hand lightly. She remains silent for a moment, staring at her like she can see straight through her and Juliana feels her heart rate start to pick up a little. She feels too exposed, but she forces herself to keep the gaze with her friend. 

“Juls..” Deborah finally speaks up, drawing her name out. A frown begins to crease the center of her forehead, her expression one of clear confusion. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say..” she trails off, like she’s trying to solve a complicated math problem in her head. Juliana shrugs at whatever thought her friend is currently having, shifting a little on the couch. 

“Aww, Juls,” Deborah practically squeaks out, her face splitting with a huge, toothy grin. “You’re having your first girl crush?” 

The question forces a deep, desperate breath into Juliana’s lungs and she shoots her friend an incredulous look. It’s such a swerve she needs a second to recover. “What?”

“You heard me.” Deborah laughs again, louder this time, nearly bouncing on the couch. Juliana scoffs and glares before instantly blushing down into her lap. She can’t fight the half smile that covers her lips and Deborah gasps, poking at her cheeks. 

“That’s a yes!” she teases, spilling some wine on her jeans. “That’s a total yes.”

Juliana shoves her hand away and shakes her head, fighting off a smile. “No, it’s not,” she argues, trying to compose herself. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Oh? That blush tells me otherwise,” Deborah chuckles, taking a swig of her wine and regarding Juliana with a knowing expression.

Juliana laughs and looks away, hating that exposed feeling she always gets when her best friend just understands the many layers of her emotions. 

“Just stop it, okay?” she grumbles, even more embarrassed now, unsure what to do with her hands. She shouldn’t feel so desperate to defend herself, but she just can’t seem to help herself. “It’s been a long, busy day, and I’m just tired, that’s all.” 

“Okay, if you say so,” Deborah says, raising her free hand in mock-surrender, but she looks entirely unconvinced. 

Juliana closes her eyes and tries to stop the freight train of questions careening into her mind. What if Deborah’s right? What if- No, she can’t be right. She’s never had any romantic feelings for another girl. She’s just awestruck by the actress, that’s all. It doesn’t have to mean anything. 

They sit quietly for a moment before Deborah breaks her out of her thoughts. “And that guy, you know the one with that awful hair. What’s his name again?”

Juliana twists her neck to look at her friend, thankful for the distraction. “Lucho?” 

Deborah nods and Juliana snorts at the way her friend’s nose scrunches up in distaste, familiar with the feeling. She doesn’t really know Lucho, but her first impression of him wasn’t flattering at all. He seemed entirely too confident and arrogant for his own good. 

“Well, what can I say…” she starts and bites her lip, pondering for a second. “Let’s say he’s perfect for the role.”

Deborah smirks. “He’s playing Gael, right? Valeria’s boyfriend?”

Juliana hums in affirmation. “Yeah, that’s him,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “He’s actually kind of a jerk in real life, too.”

“And Sergio?” Deborah continues, her eyes lighting up. “Tell me about him! He looks so cute.”

Juliana snorts and stares at the contents of her glass, sloshing the liquid along the sides, almost, but not quite, up to the rim. “Yeah, he’s kind of cute. But he’s such a flirt.”

She looks up and watches the amused quirk to her friend’s lips, her eyes twinkling. 

“Oh, no, don’t even go there,” Juliana instantly counters, shaking her head. “Seriously, Deb, don’t. You know I have only one rule in my life.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Deborah sing-songs, rolling her eyes. “Never date a co-star.”


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter :) Thank you for all your comments and kudos :) I really love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Part 5

Juliana’s scrolling absently through her new Instagram notifications while she waits for her eyelids to start to get heavy. She yawns and snuggles deeper into the warm embrace of the covers, pulling her legs up into a near fetal position. She waits until her eyes stop watering before she continues to scroll through dozens of names, names she never heard before, still feeling stunned by her ever-growing number of followers. 

She doesn’t consider herself a well-known actress by any means, but the news that she’d been cast as Sofia in Alejandro’s new Netflix show gained her many thousand followers, and it all still feels a bit of surreal to her. They haven’t even started shooting yet, so she doesn’t really think she deserves all of this attention. She’s still the same inexperienced girl who has yet to prove herself in the entertainment industry. 

She scans through the list - 23kirsten, Joey21087, sami_lh - and nearly loses her grip on the phone when a familiar username flashes by. She clutches the device in her hands and scrolls back up, gasping when she reads the notification.

Valebeso started following you.

Juliana’s heart rate picks up speed and she tries to calm it down but she can’t manage it. She blinks her eyes a few times and unconsciously taps the button to follow Valentina in return before she opens her verified profile page. 

She sucks in a breath as Valentina’s tiny profile picture appears on her screen, and Juliana feels slightly intimidated by the fact that the actress is following less people than herself, but there are more than 1,5 million people following her. It reminds her once again just how famous the other girl really is and it causes a nervous flutter in her stomach.

Because this is someone she’s actually going to be working with. She’s going to be filming scenes with Valentina Carvajal, and she’s actually going over to her apartment in two days to run their lines together. She tries to ignore the sudden wave of giddy anticipation that buzzes inside her. 

Juliana scans through the girl’s bio – Valentina Carvajal, Artist, Just myself, @cmxmexico – before she scrolls down through her pictures. Her feed is filled with smiling selfies and photos with her family and friends, and Juliana can’t help but admire the other girl’s beauty. 

It takes her much longer than she’s like to admit to process the fact that she’s staring. She tries not to stare. Really. But she can’t stop her eyes from wandering and she still doesn’t quite know why. She’s just fascinated by Valentina. That’s all. There’s nothing else it could be anyway. 

But a tiny voice in the back of her mind tells her there’s something else, something she can’t place or put her finger on. But nonetheless, it’s there and it’s compelling and magnetic. She swallows and clenches her eyes tightly shut, trying to shake herself from this headspace because there’s no way she can be thinking about Valentina like that. They’re barely even friends. 

She runs a hand down her face and just as she’s about to put her phone away, it buzzes with a notification of a new comment on her latest photo upload.

Valebeso commented: Beauty (followed by a heart eyes emoji). 

* *

Juliana’s stomach lurches as the elevator starts to move, immediately followed by a nervous surge through her entire body. It’d been lingering in the background ever since Valentina had invited her to come over. But now that she’s making her way up to the third floor of the girl’s apartment building, it’s like she’s given herself permission to actually feel the strange mix of emotions. Nervousness certainly, maybe some anxiety, but also an underlying sense of exhilaration. 

Her heartbeat starts to stutter into a quicker pace and Juliana tries to steady the shake in her hands, wiping her damp palms on her jeans. Her body’s reaction confuses her to no end, because there’s no reason for her to feel as if she’s riding an emotional rollercoaster. She’s just visiting a co-star.

Valentina only invited her over to practice their lines together. No reason to be nervous at all. Right? Except for the fact that Valentina is one of the most popular actresses in Mexico, and she’s so far out of Juliana’s league it’s almost laughable. 

Somehow, this level of fame makes her seem… untouchable. Like she’s someone Juliana shouldn’t even know. But she’s still Valentina. The girl who seems so much more sensible, so much more grounded than most other people she knows. The girl with the flashing smile, captivating features and the most beautiful bright blue eyes she’s ever seen. 

Nevertheless, Juliana still has a hard time believing that she’s going to work alongside someone so famous and so experienced, and she’s never been more frustrated by her own lack of experience. What if she ruins their scenes together? What if she can’t make it work? What if she can’t live up to everyone’s expectations? She shakes her head at herself and takes a deep breath, forcing her mind to go blank. 

The elevator slows before it stops on the third floor and Juliana quickly checks her appearance in the mirror. Black skinny jeans that shows off her long legs and natural curves. A crisp white low-cut shirt underneath her black leather jacket. She nods to herself and straightens her back in a show of confidence.

She steps out into the hallway and Juliana actually, honest to God, gasps when her eyes land on Valentina. The girl leans, perfectly poised and lithe, against her doorframe, mouth quirked into a stunning smile as her eyes study Juliana with that familiar intensity. 

She tries to ignore the way her heart leaps at the sight of the actress - hair down, in a black yoga pants and a white cut-off tank top that exposes her flat, smooth stomach - and Juliana’s fairly certain it’s not legal to look like that. 

She wills herself to move and slowly makes her way over to Valentina, feeling her legs wobble with each step. She hopes an easy smile will hide the surge in her chest, the electric jolt that shocks her every time Valentina so much as looks at her. 

“Hi,” she breathes out and stops just out of arm’s reach, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She watches the girl’s stunning blue eyes roam her face, almost as if memorizing the individual details.

“You came..” Valentina whispers, and there’s a kind of wonder in the way she says it, as if she hadn’t expected her to actually show up. She bites her bottom lip and Juliana gets distracted by the motion for a short second.

“Of course,” Juliana chuckles, hoping her nerves aren’t showing. “You invited me.”

They share a bashful smile and Juliana glances down, trying not to let Valentina’s eyes get to her. It’s hard when she can practically feel the other girl’s stare on her like a physical caress. 

“Right,” Valentina whispers, pushing herself away from the doorframe and closer to Juliana. 

The movement causes Juliana to look up again and they stare at each other for a second, Valentina’s bottom lip tucked between her teeth, as if she wants to say something. Eventually, she just blinks and kisses Juliana on the cheek, soft and quick. So quickly Juliana thinks: ‘did that just happen’, but almost before she can finish the thought Valentina leans into her space again.

“I’m glad you’re here,” the actress murmurs, her hands reaching out to hug her. 

She does it slowly, gently, and makes it clear without speaking that Juliana is free to reject her at any time. Valentina wraps her arms around her waist like it’s something natural, something she’s done a million times, and tugs her chin into the crook of her neck, causing Juliana’s breath to hitch a little. 

She’s practically enveloped in Valentina, and she has no idea what to do with her hands. If she was thinking straight, she wouldn’t let her hands come up and rub the other girl’s back, but she’s not thinking straight and that’s exactly what she does. Valentina hums absentmindedly into the hug, pressing the lengths of their bodies flush together. 

Juliana hugs her friends all the time and yet, somehow, this hug feels different. She feels different. It’s strange, Juliana thinks, that she feels like sinking further into Valentina’s embrace than running away from it. 

They remain like that for a few more seconds and then Juliana remembers herself, leaning back with a sigh and releasing her grip. Valentina is a touch slower to let go, lingering for a heartbeat before she pulls free. 

Juliana runs a shaky hand through her hair and takes another step away from the actress, desperate to put some distance between them to prevent herself from feeling the effects of Valentina’s proximity any more than she already is. 

“You lo-“ Valentina starts and then her voice trails off, making Juliana glance up at her again. 

She’s deeply curious about whatever is about to tumble out of Valentina’s mouth, and she watches the way a faint blush spreads across the girl’s cheeks, her sculptured lips slightly parted. After another long second, Valentina flashes her an almost shy smile and Juliana finds herself thinking how unfair it is for someone to be that beautiful.

“You look amazing,” Valentina finishes softly, under her breath, like she doesn’t want Juliana to hear it. 

But she does, and Juliana has to bite at her lip to stop the most ridiculous smile from creeping onto her face. She rolls her eyes, mostly to hide the sudden shyness rushing through her. There’s a rush of color into Valentina’s cheeks again which, honestly, makes Juliana feel a little bit more confident.

“You do amazing things to my self-confidence, just so you know,” she manages to say, all the words coming out in a comprehensible order. She’s proud of herself because her brain is screaming about a hundred different things and it’s a wonder she’s still capable of speech at all. 

Valentina breathes out a laugh and her blue eyes stare steadily into her own for a long moment, a soft smile on her face. Juliana thinks that she should look away but she can’t.

“Well, I’m just stating the obvious, that’s all,” Valentina says and Juliana hears a twinge of nervousness in her voice. Suddenly, Valentina steps back, giving Juliana space to move and air to breathe. 

“Please, come inside.” She motions with her hand to enter and Juliana nods, making her way inside the apartment with all the poise she can manage on her shaking legs. 

She walks through a small hallway into the living room and takes it all in, looks from space to space, piece to piece. There is a large bookshelf to her right with stacks of books adoring its shelves. A row of framed pictures decorate the wall on her left, and plants of all shapes and colors crowd the apartment, nestled within different colored pots of all sizes

The walls are pristine white and the floor a light, polished hardwood. The entire front of the apartment is lined with floor to ceiling windows, leaving a gorgeous view of the neighborhood. Outside, a lounge chair points towards the railing and the city beyond. The sun dips behind the buildings, the last remnants of the day’s light cutting through the gaps and filtering into the room. 

“Do you like it?” A soft voice breaks the silence, and Juliana turns to Valentina who’s standing in the middle of the room with her hands behind her back, shifting her weight between her feet, looking at her in that careful, curious way she does.

“Your apartment?” she asks, glancing around. Valentina lets a small smile slip across her lips as she nods, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. 

The apartment is much smaller than she’d imagined, but far more cozy and inviting. She actually loves it. It’s nothing flashy, nothing that reveals Valentina’s wealth, but the apartment oozes charm with its decoration and soft lightening. 

“Yeah, I do,” Juliana tells her honestly, a soft smile creeping onto her face. “I like seeing your place. It’s like getting to see you, you know, instead of the actress.” 

She brushes her hair over her shoulder and looks up again, momentarily transfixed by the way Valentina’s skin seems to glow in the golden sunlight. When their eyes meet, Valentina’s mouth falls open just a fraction of a second, but then she instantly recovers with a smile. Their eye contact is prolonged and heavy before Valentina finally breaks the silence. 

“So,” she clears her throat and the action is almost awkward. She shakes her head as if she’s trying to shake herself from a trance. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Uhm.. water would be great,” Juliana answers and Valentina nods her head once. 

She turns to walk to the kitchen and Juliana watches the way Valentina’s hips move. She’s wearing   
skintight yoga pants and Juliana’s never been more fascinated by another girl’s curves. The thought confuses her and she quickly averts her eyes, feeling her cheeks flush. 

She glances around the living room, shrugging out of her jacket before settling into the comfortable cushions of Valentina’s gray couch. A few moments later the actress reappears from the kitchen with two glasses and a wide – unfairly beautiful - smile on her face. She places the glasses on the small table right in front of the couch and Juliana watches the other girl’s graceful movements.

“So, what were you working on before this?” Valentina asks when she settles beside her on the couch, her voice melodic and soft. 

Juliana shrugs and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Uhm.. Nothing really,” she confesses with a shy smile. 

Valentina tilts her head to the side in that way she does and studies her face, angling her body to fully face her. Her knee brushes against Juliana’s thigh and she leaves it there when Juliana makes no move to shy away from the touch. 

“I couldn’t find the right role and I..” Juliana continues before she trails off, unsure of how to continue. Releasing a long sigh, she clasps her hands together in her lap. “Let’s say I wasn’t in the best place for the past couple of months.”

“How come?” Valentina’s soft voice is laced with concern and Juliana looks up from where she was staring at a spot on the table. Warm and curious blue eyes stare back at her and Juliana feels her stomach flip. “I mean, I don’t want to pry or anything..”

“You’re not, it’s okay,” Juliana says, offering Valentina a reassuring smile. “I just broke up with my long-term boyfriend, and I had some soul searching to do. Who am I and what is my place in this world, you know?”

Valentina nods and bites her lip, eying her carefully. “Ricardo Gonzales, right?”

“Yeah, the one and only,” Juliana replies, unable to hide a note of bitterness in her voice.

Valentina studies her face for a moment. “He’s..” she begins tentatively, frowning. She seems to be searching for the right word before she settles on, “attractive.”

“Yeah..” Juliana whispers, glancing down at her hands in her lap. An uncomfortable clench settles in her stomach and she tries to breathe through it, keeping a neutral expression on her face. “But he’s also very conservative and… ridiculously possessive and jealous.”

There had been so many nights he’d wrongfully accused her of cheating or flirting with other guys. Once, he nearly hit an unfortunate waiter for looking at her a second too long. And it still hurts. She swallows the lump in her throat. She won’t cry over him. She won’t. She’s spilled enough tears over him and she refuses to give him that power. 

Valentina brushes her fingers against Juliana’s forearm to catch her attention, and with just a look, she stops Juliana’s thoughts in their tracks. There’s something about the other girl that makes her want to talk, something that makes her feel… seen? Like she matters?

“It smothered me..” she continues, shaking her head. “He smothered me. And I always felt like I couldn’t breathe.” 

Juliana releases an awkward laugh, suddenly worried that she’d said too much, that Valentina might see some other, less appealing, side to her. Why is she telling her all this anyway? They’re not even friends. But despite the fact that she’s practically a stranger, there’s something achingly familiar about Valentina. Even comforting. 

“I’m not making sense, do I?” she murmurs and when she looks back up, Valentina is staring at her with such understanding that it nearly steals Juliana’s breath.

“Yes, you do,” Valentina whispers, and the look in her eyes anchors Juliana.

It looks like there’s something more she wants to say but instead she stays quiet. She comes closer to her though and sits back against the couch, leaning their shoulders together. And for some reason, Juliana finds the gesture oddly touching, oddly comforting.

She leans into the contact and dares a glance beside her, catching Valentina’s warm eyes already on her. And at that moment she realizes just how desperately she wants Valentina to know her, really know her; not as Sofia, not as her co-star, but as her. The part not captured on film. The part few other get to actually see. 

“Ricardo and I dated in college, and by then, it was always supposed to be Ricardo and I. Everybody knew that. But at some point, he turned the corner from high school sweethearts into serious relationship territory and left me behind.”

She shakes her head and releases a sigh, toying with her necklace. “I still don’t know what was wrong with me. I had the perfect guy but he was never enough. I couldn’t see myself with him, not forever. And once you start thinking that way..”

“You never stop,” Valentina finishes her sentence, nudging her shoulder gently. “There’s nothing wrong with that.. Or with you for that matter. You can’t control the way people make you feel or not feel. You’re punishing yourself for something you had no control over.”

It’s spoken so intimate and personal and Juliana believes her, doesn’t think to doubt Valentina. And just like that Valentina makes her feel good about the exact same thing that had her feeling so down. It’s like she breathes life into everything, and everything seems brighter in her presence.

She allows her eyes to linger on Valentina’s face, watching a warm smile transform her angelic features in de soft light of early evening. 

“It took me a few months, but now I finally feel free.. There are so many possibilities, so many exciting things to discover. And that’s kind of why I auditioned for this role. I wanted to do something different. Something I’ve never done before. Something that can make a change, you know?”

Valentina hums out a quiet sound of understanding. “Yeah, I know.”

A comfortable silence settles over them and Juliana stretches a little, running her hands through her hair, watching Valentina watch her do it and pretend not to. But she doesn’t miss the way her blue eyes flicker down below her neck and then skitter back up to her face and she won’t lie; it leaves her heart racing. 

“But you’re doing pretty well for yourself, aren’t you?” she breaks the silence, smiling. “You seem to be happy and in a stable relationship.” 

Something in Valentina’s smile falters but it doesn’t fade entirely. “What makes you say that?”

“I might have looked you up on the Internet,” Juliana confesses with a soft laugh, and Valentina cringes at her words. 

“A terrifying thought,” she jokes, but it doesn’t sound that funny and she doesn’t laugh. She keeps watching Juliana, her eyes so blue and almost vulnerable. 

“Well, you’re the breath of fresh air that Mexico needs,” Juliana quotes the headline she’d just read online, and she watches the hint of a smile play at the corners of Valentina’s lips. 

“And..” she continues tentatively, shifting a little on the couch. “There are a lot of rumors about you and that American actor.” Juliana is not sure how she will react to Valentina telling about her relationship with Jason, but she wants to know – she wants Valentina to share it with her, to confide in her.

Valentina takes a deep breath and tenses up slightly. “I just bet,” she murmurs, and a cloud passes briefly over her face. It’s fleeting, but Juliana catches it. It’s obvious from the way her eyes slide away as if she’s searching for an escape, that this isn’t a subject Valentina wants to be pressed upon. 

But before Juliana can stop herself, the words tumble out of her mouth, “So it’s not true?” As soon as the words are out she wishes that she could take them back. It’s like she has no control over the words coming out of her mouth. Like she’s being controlled by this force within her that she wants to reign in but she just can’t.

Valentina remains silent so long Juliana thinks she just won’t answer before she finally looks up at her with a guarded expression. “There might be some truth in it.”

“I’m sorry,” Juliana quickly blurts out, afraid she’s pushed too far, and she hopes her eyes are conveying that she doesn’t expect anything. That she would be just as happy to sit on the couch and not talk. “I didn’t mean to push you. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

Valentina’s eyes soften and her lips curl into a slight smile, bringing her hand up to brush Juliana’s hair out of her face. “Don’t apologize,” she whispers and holds on to her cheek for another second. “I want to tell you.”

Juliana blinks, suddenly nervous, suddenly breathless.

“It’s just…” Valentina starts and worries her bottom lip, obviously contemplating what to say and carefully crafting her words. “Do you know the feeling of being watched but not actually seen?” 

Juliana simply nods, sensing Valentina wants to say more, so she waits for it.

“My life is hardly my own. I can’t control the things they say about me in the press. I can’t control the pictures they put on the Internet, or the rumors that get spread.” Valentina sucks in a breath before she continues, “Sometimes I’m not even sure who I am, you know? I like to think that I do, or pretend that I do.. But I don’t. Not really. Maybe that’s why I chose acting as a career.” 

She shrugs, seemingly awkward suddenly. She runs a slender hand through her hair and bites her lip, her eyes darting around the room. “It was never about the fame or the money for me. I just wanted to disappear and be someone else for a while. Forget everything. Free myself from the pressure and everyone’s expectations.”

Juliana aches at the way those blue eyes try to hide a sadness that runs so deep it’s a losing battle. She aches to reach out and hold the girl, to comfort her, but before she can move Valentina speaks again.

“I never asked for any of this, you know? I never asked to be famous. I never asked to be followed around by cameras my whole life,” she tells her, gesturing her hands to emphasize her point. “I never realized just how much it would affect my life.”

She leans forward and places her elbows on her knees, her long hair falling down her back. “I can’t live up to everyone’s expectation of being a ‘perfect’ example to others. And I’m just so tired of caring about what other people think of me. It’s exhausting. People make assumptions. I mean, can’t I just be me?”

Her blue eyes are unfocused, distant. Her gaze is directed down to the floor, but it’s clear she sees something else, and Juliana would give more than just a few pesos to know what she’s thinking now. She sits at the edge of the sofa, looking so beautiful and so fragile that it makes Juliana ache, and she can’t stop herself from reaching out to touch Valentina’s shoulder. 

She waits until the other girl’s eyes focus on her face again before she slowly pulls back her hand. “You can be who you want to be, Valentina. Forget what everything thinks, they are….” she trails off, searching for the right words. 

“Look, Val, people will see you as they see you, which in my experience says a lot more about who they are than who you are. And let me tell you something..” She leans a little closer, keeping her eyes locked on Valentina’s. “I know we’ve only just met, and that I’m probably being a bit forward, but you don’t strike me as a girl who follows the rules and I mean that in a good way.” 

Valentina chokes out a laugh and raises a perfectly sculptured brow, looking up at Juliana with wide, shiny eyes. 

“Just follow your heart and not the rules set by others,” Juliana continues, and Valentina sucks in a shaky breath. “Your life is your own, no one else’s. You make your own luck. Being true to yourself and giving yourself permission to be who you are and to love who you love… that’s what it’s all about. The rest is unimportant.”

Valentina stares at her with something akin to wonder, and Juliana thinks she can see tears threatening to spill in the girl’s blue eyes. 

“Thank you..” Valentina chokes out, offering her a watery smile. She shakes her head and brings her hand up to wipe at her eyes. “I envy your fearlessness about what other people think. I wish I could be more like that.” 

There’s a moment of intense silence as they stare at each other and Juliana can’t help but let her eyes drop to Valentina’s lips once, maybe twice. She takes a deep breath, noticing the subtle shift that has occurred in their dynamic. But she pushes it aside for the time being and settles back against the couch, feeling the other girl’s eyes burn on the side of her face.

A moment later, Valentina sits back against the cushions as well, close enough that their shoulders touch. Juliana glances down when she feels a feathery-soft touch against her skin and watches as Valentina gently takes her hand in her own, sliding her long fingers between Juliana’s. 

It causes a nervous flutter in her stomach and she knows she can pull away if she wants to. Valentina isn’t holding her hand with any sort of pressure, but Juliana doesn’t. She can’t control herself. Not the way she normally does. And that’s terrifying. 

“Have you been holding out on me?” Valentina’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts and Juliana looks up at her in confusion.

“I- What?”

Valentina chuckles and wrinkles her nose, leaning slightly closer. 

“Are you secretly a shrink?” she teases, her eyes shining with amusement. “Can I hire you? I’ll pay you a decent wage.”

Juliana smirks, playing along. “A decent wage, huh? I don’t think you can afford me.”

The sight of Valentina throwing her head back and laughing is something Juliana wants fixed in her memory forever. It’s beautiful. 

“No?” Valentina chuckles, and tilts her head to the side, her hair falling off of her shoulder and exposing her neck. Her thumb continues to absentmindedly stroke Juliana’s knuckles. “There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“I’ll see what I can do..” Juliana whispers, bringing her eyes back up to Valentina’s. She squeezes the other girl’s hand and Valentina squeezes right back.

“Yes, please..” she whispers, biting her lip. “I don’t care how much it will cost me.” 

And suddenly, it feels like Valentina is saying a lot more than those words. Juliana swallows and stares down at their hands, unable to come up with a sassy retort. Valentina traces along the hills and dips of her hand with her finger, running along the outline of each digit, and Juliana suppresses a shiver that threatens to race up her spine. 

“You have pretty hands,” Valentina whispers, slotting her fingers back through long slender ones. 

Juliana sucks in a breath and dares a glance beside her. She hadn’t realized just how close they were sitting and gulps when Valentina looks up at her through her long lashes. Her eyes seem bluer than ever when she’s this close, and Juliana is almost too distracted to remember Valentina’s words.

She watches blue eyes dart down to her lips and back up before a smile slowly grows on the other girl’s face. “What are you smiling about?” Juliana asks, which earns her another bashful smile.

“Nothing,” Valentina replies quickly, trying to wipe the smile away and busying herself with leaning forward and grabbing her glass from the table. She succeeds in covering her lips but her eyes still shine when she looks at Juliana.


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is here! Hope you like it. Thanks for all your support so far, I love it!

Part 6

Juliana loses track of time very quickly, nerves having all but disappeared, and the hours fly by like minutes. The conversation flows easily between them and they talk about anything and everything – their favorite movies, their childhoods, Juliana’s friendship with Deborah, and each of their careers. 

Somewhere during the evening they moved from the couch to sit on the floor, glasses of wine between them, facing the floor to ceiling windows and the dark night sky behind it. A few candles cast a soft glow in the room and there’s an unmistakable sense of connection crackling between them, an unusual sense of comfortability.

Juliana turns to look at the girl beside her. Valentina is relaxed, her face serene as she hums along to a song that’s softly playing in the background. Her fingers absently comb the ends of her hair, her long legs stretched out in front of her. 

It amazes Juliana that they’ve somehow become comfortable enough in each other’s presence that neither of them feels the need to keep the conversation lively. Valentina is terrifyingly easy to get along with, and Juliana realizes that she feels more comfortable with the actress after a few hours than she ever has with most of her friends. 

Since Valentina is the only person to look at, she allows her eyes to linger on the girl’s face. It’s only natural to pick out her features. And stare at them. And to feel her heartbeat start to race. It’s impossible not to stare at the girl’s profile, the way the light illuminates her stunning features - the high arch of her cheekbones, her perfectly chiseled nose, her full, voluptuous lips, and her intense blue eyes surrounded by dark and defined eyelashes. 

Somehow, watching Valentina does something uniquely physical to her body, and Juliana isn’t sure that she wants to investigate why that is. She doesn’t have words to describe the new feelings hitting her like bricks and she just feels special, being allowed to see Valentina so comfortable and unwound like this. 

Their shoulders are nearly touching and Juliana can feel the heat radiating off of her body. And she still wants to be closer. It confuses her, but she quickly brushes it off. It has nothing to do with attraction; she’s not even into girls. Wanting affection, wanting intimacy - it’s a long way from wanting Valentina.

Right? 

She takes a sip of her wine to distract herself and when a sudden thought crosses her mind, she doesn’t bother to stifle a chuckle. 

Valentina peers up at her curiously. “What is it?” 

“I thought we were going to practice our lines,” Juliana snorts, setting down her glass. “Isn’t that why you invited me over?”

Valentina huffs out a laugh, brushing her hair over one shoulder. 

“I know, I know,” she chuckles, leaning slightly closer, and Juliana admires the way her dimples crease. “It’s your own fault, you know?”

“How is it my fault?” Juliana counters in mock offense, and for a fleeting moment she’s sure that Valentina’s stare flickers down to her lips, only to return to her eyes right away. 

“Well, you’re way too easy to talk to,” Valentina says plainly and Juliana watches a smile begin to pull at the side of the other girl’s mouth and she feels her stomach stir at the sight of it. “You’re way too..” Valentina’s voice trails off and she bites her lip, her gaze flickering away from Juliana’s. 

“Way too.. what?” Juliana whispers, unable to stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth.

Valentina blushes, toying with a lock of her own hair. She glances down for a second before she catches her eyes again, the candlelight glinting in those blue orbs that inspire so much confusing feelings in Juliana that it’s terrifying. 

“I really like having you around,” Valentina confesses, her eyes burning into Juliana’s. She’s looking at her in a way Juliana cannot really describe, and she doesn’t know whether to avoid the intensity of that stare or drown in it.

“Charmer..” she murmurs just above a whisper, fighting her own blush.

“No, I’m serious, Juls,” Valentina whispers, her eyes darting back and forth between Juliana’s. “I think you’re my new favorite person.” 

The fondness in her tone is unmistakable, and it’s evident in the way she tucks a raven lock behind Juliana’s ear, too. Juliana smiles like a fool and dips het head bashfully, feeling an odd twinge of warmth in her chest.

“I’ve had a really great time,” Valentina continues softly, and Juliana’s body feels weird to her – her hands feel jumpy, like she want to grab onto something, and there’s an electric current running up her spine.

Valentina moves her hand a little and touches Juliana’s cheek, so very gentle, and a slow, almost shy smile spreads over her lips. “I think you’re kind of incredible, actually. I haven’t laughed so much since-- well, I can’t remember.”

Juliana swallows against the sudden dryness in her throat. “I’ve had a great time too,” she manages to say, leaving the ‘and I don’t want this night to end just yet’ unsaid.

She unconsciously leans into Valentina’s palm and the other girl presses back with the most gentle pressure. The moment feels charged and somehow overwhelmingly intimate, and when Valentina shifts even closer, Juliana wonders if she’s aware of it or if she’s just following the pull too. An electric silence settles between them as their eyes lock together, neither making a move. 

Juliana is the first to break the link, lowering her gaze, and with faint disappointment she feels Valentina’s fingers slowly slip away from her face. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, suppressing a shy smile. 

“Any chance of a rain check for tomorrow?” Valentina whispers, catching Juliana off-guard. She opens her eyes to look up - not expecting to find blue ones gazing back at her with such open affection - and she’s pretty sure nothing can stop the soft, but sure, ‘yes’ she lets out.

Valentina smiles in response, her eyes lingering on Juliana’s lips for a second, and she unconsciously licks them. The moment stretches, taut like a piece of elastic that’s going to snap at any second, and when Valentina inches closer again, Juliana sucks in a shaky breath. 

She watches wide blue eyes dart between her own, and Juliana has just a moment to wonder if she’s about to kiss her when Valentina breathes out a shaky laugh, shaking her head, and squeezing her blue eyes tightly shut. 

Juliana instantly squashes the thought – nonetheless aware that it is a poisonous little seed – and only then does she release the breath she’s been holding. Perhaps she’s becoming the sort of person that reads too much into everything.

But Valentina doesn’t move away. Instead, she shifts even closer, leaning her hand on Juliana’s thigh to balance herself, and gently rests her forehead on her shoulder. It’s a strange sort of embrace but one that Juliana leans into, and she can’t stop her fingers from coming up to stroke the other girl’s hair softly. 

Valentina’s free arm circles around her waist and she nuzzles further into her neck, prompting a surprised little gasp from Juliana. She won’t make the mistake of confusing the other girl’s easy affection with something else again, and allows her body to relax into the embrace. 

She can feel the other girl’s warm breath against her skin and it’s doing amazing, terrible things to her sanity. And just like that, Juliana’s heart rate speeds up again. She unconsciously turns her head to the side, just enough to find Valentina’s face and feels her stomach bottom out at the way the actress instantly nuzzles into her cheek. 

The sheer smoothness of Valentina’s skin makes her lightheaded as their cheeks brush, and Juliana can practically feel the air in the room change – it’s charged with something she’s afraid to name and acknowledge. She lets out a shaky, involuntary sigh, knowing that it brushes over Valentina’s skin, caressing-- 

And suddenly it feels… too much. Too overwhelming. Too intimate. As if they’ve passed some invisible barrier. And when Juliana pulls back, Valentina’s eyes take a moment to reopen. Juliana takes a deep breath, still feeling out of breath even though she’s been sitting down this whole time. 

Valentina blinks a few times, as if dazed, and presses a slender hand against her own forehead. She releases an almost awkward chuckle and adjusts her position, crossing her legs underneath her. There’s a moment where they just smile bashfully at each other, and Juliana can’t stop thinking about how beautiful the actress looks.

“I believe I owe you an answer,” Valentina finally breaks the silence, running a hand through her hair. 

Juliana tilts her head a little in confusion. “You don’t owe me anything.” 

“I know,” Valentina whispers, smiling up at her warmly. “But I never answered your earlier question.. Whether the rumors are true about me and Jason.”

Juliana nods slowly as a strange feeling of unease settles in the pit of her stomach. She wants to know but she also really, really isn’t ready to hear any kind of answer. Valentina chews on her lip, as if she’s thinking about what she wants to say. 

“Well,” she starts, toying with her bracelet. “Some of the rumors are true.”

“Okay..?” Juliana blinks and wonders what it is exactly that she’s so afraid of hearing right now. 

Valentina glances up at her, hesitant for some reason. “We’re dating.”

When her stomach drops, even Juliana herself isn’t sure why. She takes a deep breath, trying to even out her heartbeat. 

“I figured that.”

She’d seen several pictures of them online, holding hands, hugging each other. But Valentina never publicly confirmed nor denied their relationship, and Juliana wonders why. Maybe Valentina’s just a very private person, she reasons. 

“Ivana, a mutual friend, introduced us, but neither of us thought much of that moment,” Valentina starts, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “It was about two months later that Jason and I really began to talk. It was at a birthday party for a friend. We ended up dancing together. Well, kind of. I’m a terrible dancer,” she laughs and wrinkles her nose. 

Juliana laughs in surprise because the idea that Valentina’s a terrible dancer just seems so unfathomable. She’s so graceful in every way; surely she’s a joy on the dancefloor. 

“We’ve been dating ever since,” Valentina continues, and Juliana ignores the pang in her chest. “He lives in New York, so we don’t see each other often. But we call and Skype each other all the time.”

“It must be hard for you not being able to see him whenever you want,” Juliana says softly. She watches the other girl carefully, notices the tension in her jaw, and Valentina’s gaze moves up to find hers. 

“Yeah, it can be lonely sometimes..” Valentina pauses, chews at the inside of her lip for a moment. “He wants me to move in with him, to take the next step in our relationship. And there are more acting options in New York.”

“Do you want to?” Juliana blurts out before she even realized the words were about to leave her mouth. 

That makes Valentina falter and she doesn’t answer for a moment, mouth moving like she’s trying to speak but not coming up with any words. A small frown settles between her brows and she looks increasingly troubled.

“I don’t-- I don’t know,” she stammers, shrugging almost helplessly. “I guess I want to and yet I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Juliana asks softly, tilting her head.

A beautifully sculptured eyebrow raises. “It’s a big step,” Valentina counters with a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

“It’s not as though you’re getting married,” Juliana chuckles, despite the discomfort in her chest. “It’s not such a big step.”

Valentina looks at her a little incredulously. “It is,” she argues with a little laugh, her hands moving around in the space in front of her to emphasize her thoughts. “I don’t want to move in with him just for fun. It’s not as though I’m moving in with a gang of girls. I’m not moving in with him as a friend. I’m moving in with him as a lover.”

“So?” Juliana challenges and in all honesty, she has no idea why she cares so much.

Valentina stares at her in disbelief, her lips slightly parted. “Do you want me to leave the country?” 

Juliana laughs and shakes her head. “Of course I don’t want you to leave,” she chuckles before turning serious again. “But this is not about what I want. What is it that you want? What is holding you back?”

Valentina stares at her for a long moment, her eyes clouding just a bit. “I don’t know. I mean, I would love to live closer to my brother Guille. And I love New York.. I have many friends there.”

“Well, then, what is holding you back?” Juliana pushes, more than a little curious.

Valentina presses her lips together and stares off into the distance. “I’m not sure..” she whispers, screwing her eyes shut and holding the bridge of her nose. “I don’t want to rush into something for the wrong reasons. I mean, he’s really nice and everything. But I don’t know.”

“Is that what you want?” Juliana challenges, raising her brow. “Someone who’s nice? No spark?”

Valentina blinks up at her and makes a face, shaking her head. “Stop asking me such difficult questions,” she pouts and Juliana laughs. 

The amusement dancing in Valentina’s eyes dims by a few degrees, causing a tightening in Juliana’s chest. “Okay,” she concedes, offering a small smile. She thinks she sees the actress sigh in relief, yet she can’t stop herself from asking, “But I have one last question.”

Valentina swallows, but after a second she nods her head. She straightens a little, as if bracing herself to whatever it is she’s about to ask her. And although Juliana feels a twinge of guilt for pushing Valentina, there’s one last thing she needs to know. 

“Are you happy with him?” she asks in the most gentle voice she can manage.

Valentina sucks in a breath. She opens her mouth, then closes it, and again a few times, frowning as if she’s reaching for words and finding each one lacking. She seems to settle on some, finally.

“Define happy.”

Juliana hesitates for a beat, not quite sure how to phrase her question. 

“Val,” she starts, tentatively, her chest tightening again when the actress looks up at her with such a fragile look in her eyes. “Does he makes you feel loved?”

Valentina tenses and without thinking about it, Juliana reaches over to softly squeeze her shoulder. It relaxes the girl almost immediately and Valentina’s shoulders sag a little. She bites her lip, chewing on it a bit, eyes lowered. 

“I--“ Valentina pauses and runs a finger around the rim of her glass. “Yeah, I guess so?”

Juliana lifts an eyebrow. “You guess so? That doesn’t sound good.. Like at all.” 

Valentina sighs and puts her wineglass down, rubbing her forehead. “What do you mean?”

The actress looks slightly panicked and it makes Juliana tread carefully, choosing her words with special care. “You’re tense. You tense up whenever you talk about him.”

And just like that, Valentina tenses up all over again. She lowers her head, runs a slender hand through her hair. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that?” she murmurs, but it’s clearly teasing, and it makes Juliana smile. Valentina’s blue eyes soften when she looks up at her. 

“I thought I was your new favorite person?” Juliana grins, trying for levity, and nudges Valentina’s knee with her own.

Valentina rolls her eyes, but then her face lights up with a smile that Juliana hopes never fades. “Yeah, well..” she chuckles, “I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

“You like me. Just admit it,” Juliana sasses back and Valentina laughs, her eyes crinkling at the corners. A faint blush creeps up the other girl’s cheeks, and Juliana doesn’t know what possessed her to say something so overtly flirty.

“Well, you’re…” Valentina pauses and lets out a breathy chuckle. “Very hard not to like.”

Juliana cannot quite place the happiness she feels bubbling in her chest that prompts her to smile more brightly than she remembers. She ducks her head and inhales a deep breath, steadying herself, before exhaling slightly. 

She waits until Valentina’s eyes find her own again before she says, “Don’t let anyone push you into a decision that you don’t feel right about or that you aren’t ready to make.”

Valentina swallows, looking a little nervous. There’s a pause as she clamps and unclamps her hands together, seeming to think hard about something. She finally bites her lip once before looking up. “Not even my boyfriend?” 

“Especially not your boyfriend,” Juliana instantly counters, her brown eyes burning into Valentina’s. “He should trust and support you to set your own pace and make your own decisions. Moving in with him should be something you want, and not something you think you ‘should’ want.” 

Valentina stares at her with something like surprise or awe, mouth falling slightly open, her blue eyes darting between her own.

“Juliana, I--“ she starts, and it’s so soft, the way her name leaves Valentina’s lips. She looks like she wants to say something more – the intent shows in her eyes and the very slight intake of breath – but instead, she reaches for her wine glass and takes a large sip. 

There is more, so much more, Juliana can tell. Yet this is not the time to ask. Valentina will tell her when she’s ready to tell her, whatever it is. 

“I’m glad we’re doing this,” she whispers instead, looking up at Juliana with a shy, affectionate smile. 

Juliana’s lips curl up in response. “Me too..” 

“And thank you,” Valentina continues, her gaze so open that it’s almost too much to look at. 

“For what?” 

Valentina shrugs and bites down a shy smile, brushing a hand through her hair. “You know. For tonight.” 

Juliana shakes her head, smiling softly. “You have nothing to thank me for,” she whispers and absentmindedly looks at her watch. Her eyes widen in shock. “Shit,” she hisses, straightening up. 

Valentina looks up at her in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

“I should get going,” Juliana says, eyes trailing over Valentina’s face, lingering on the lip she’s biting. 

Valentina nods, but neither of them move. 

“Yeah, I should go,” she whispers again, because it’s far too late and she has to be up far too early.

Valentina nods again. But when neither of them move for the second time Valentina’s lips twitch. And Juliana’s staring as it grows until it’s a full grin and she can’t help but mirror it. 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Valentina asks, her eyes hopeful.

Juliana nods. “Yeah..” 

Intense blue eyes linger on her face and Juliana wills herself to move, but her muscles don’t quite work as they should. 

“Am I allowed to hug you?” Valentina whispers with a crooked smile and it tightens Juliana’s chest so suddenly that she struggles to swallow against the feeling. 

She breathes out a laugh, one that almost sounds like a sigh. “Now you’re asking? Really?” 

Valentina bites her lip on a smile, her eyes twinkling in the candlelight. “I guess I am..”

Juliana only rolls her eyes before she reaches for Valentina’s hand and pulls her in. If they both cling to each other tighter and longer than they should, neither comments when they eventually separate.


	7. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter :) Thanks again for all your support and I love reading your thoughts about this fic.

Part 7

Juliana stares off into the distance, watching the sun dip below the nearby trees and buildings. Bathed in gorgeous, shimmering hues of the sunset, the sky looks almost magical. She releases a content sigh and leans her head back against the glass floor to ceiling window of Valentina’s apartment, absorbing the view. 

It still feels kind of surreal that she’s here, lounging on Valentina’s balcony, hanging out with the actress for the second night in a row. She never imagined that they would get along so well in such a short amount of time, and there’s something about the other girl’s presence that makes her feel oddly calm. She doesn’t really know how to explain it, but it somehow feels like they’ve known each other forever.

“It’s beautiful, huh?” Valentina’s soft voice breaks the silence, and Juliana focuses her gaze on the girl beside her. 

Valentina’s long legs are stretched out in front of her, her feet propped up against the railing of her balcony. A light breeze blows her hair like she’s posing for a photo shoot, and a waft of fresh smelling perfume hits Juliana. She spends a second too long observing the long column of Valentina’s neck, before remembering herself and looking away. 

“Yeah, it’s incredible,” she whispers, brushing back an errant lock of hair behind her ear.

Valentina smiles up at her warmly before she gazes up at the sky again, a dreamy expression settling over her features. 

“This is my favorite part of the day,” she whispers, burying her hands in the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “The time between day and evening can be gloriously hypnotic, you know?”

Juliana hums in agreement and tears her eyes away from Valentina, biting her lip softly.

“That’s one of the main reasons I bought this apartment,” the actress continues, her lips stretching into a small smile. “I love to just sit here, listen to music, and watch the sun go down.” 

“I can imagine,” Juliana whispers as a gust of wind causes her long raven hair to tickle her face. Valentina must notice her shiver, because..

“Are you cold?” 

Juliana glances beside her to find Valentina’s eyes already on her, studying her carefully. She shakes her head in denial, but her mind hasn’t caught up yet. 

“A little,” she admits and Valentina instantly grips the edges of her own sweatshirt.

Juliana’s eyes widen as she pulls the garment up and over her head, light brown hair tumbling back down, and the top Valentina’s wearing riding up a little to uncover a taut stomach that Juliana can’t help but look at. Suddenly, she’s not that cold anymore.

“Here,” Valentina whispers, offering the sweatshirt over. Juliana’s eyes snap back up to Valentina’s, hoping the heat in her cheeks isn’t visible. 

“I’m fine, Val,” she replies, pushing back at the offering. 

Valentina’s hand remains outstretched with a look of challenge. “You’re cold, Juls. Just take it.”

Juliana shakes her head with a bashful smile. “What about you? Won’t you be cold?” 

“I’m fine,” Valentina smiles, and Juliana is oddly charmed at the soft expression the actress gives her.

She gently grabs the sweatshirt and pulls it over her head, brushing her hair off her face. She feels instantly better once she has the sweatshirt on and Juliana tries not to think that it’s less about being warm and more about something else. She watches Valentina tug her shirt back into place, covering up the skin of her stomach, and Juliana’s fingers twitch involuntary.

“Thank you,” she whispers, licking the sudden dryness off her lips. 

“Anytime,” Valentina answers with a gorgeous smile and a special brand of warmth in her eyes that Juliana has to look away from. 

She has no idea how to handle the sensations she’s currently feeling, because none of them make any sense. They are just two new friends sharing some time together, getting to know each other. This is no different than if Deborah were sitting there. Right? 

Except it totally is because she feels a strong, irresistible pull toward Valentina that makes her want to throw out common sense. There’s a bizarre itch in her fingers, like she wants to reach out and brush the other girl’s hair out of her face. That’s a hell of a lot different from when Deborah is sitting beside her. 

Instead of giving in to what her body is telling her to do, she buries her hands in the front pocket of Valentina’s sweatshirt. A change of subject seems entirely necessary so Juliana clears her throat, forcing a smile on her face. “So, are we actually going to practice our lines today?”

Valentina blinks up at her. “Yeah, that’s the plan,” she chuckles, shifting in her seat so that she’s fully facing Juliana. “I have to warn you, though..”

Juliana tilts her head quizzically at the excited glint in Valentina’s eyes. “About what?”

Valentina crinkles her nose and leans slightly closer, as if letting her in on a secret. “I tend to do the unexpected..” 

Juliana chuckles and rolls her eyes. “I bet you do.” 

Valentina hums, her eyes glistening in the light of the sunset before her smile brightens again. 

“Hey, you’re the one who told me not to follow the rules,” she teases and god, can she just stop smiling so Juliana’s stomach would stop doing somersaults?

“I guess I did, huh?” she sasses back, ducking her head a little.

Valentina laughs lightly at her comment and Juliana watches how the actress reaches up, smoothing her hair in her hands to gather it back and tie it up in a messy bun. She lets her eyes roam - tracing the arch of Valentina’s brow, the faint blush on her cheek, and the small gap between her parted lips.

“I’m very intuitive..” Valentina continues, her eyes mischievous in a way that makes Juliana want to get lost in them. “And now and then, I tend to stray from the script. I just act upon what feels right. I like to improvise, you know, make it more natural.. authentic.” 

Her teasing smile shifts in favor of sincere eyes and an earnest look. She studies Juliana carefully and seems to hesitate for moment before she adds, “But if that’s, uhm, not you’re thing, that’s totally fine, obviously.” 

She looks down into her lap and Juliana finds herself oddly charmed by the way the actress turns from a confident superstar to a shy, pretty girl in seconds. It feels strangely intimate, Juliana thinks, as if she’s witnessing something she shouldn’t be, something precious and private. She’s surprised Valentina allows it, allows Juliana to see her this way.

“Well, Alejandro did say we should improvise, so..” she pauses for a second, trying to ignore the very unsubtle way Valentina’s staring at her now. “I’m okay with that.” 

“Yeah?” Valentina whispers, eyes still intent on Juliana’s face as if she’s searching for a sign that she doesn’t mean it.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever feels right,” Juliana answers, trying to convey her sincerity in her eyes. 

Valentina smiles on a deep exhale and Juliana finds herself focusing on the errant strands of hair curling at the other girl’s temples. 

“Okay,” Valentina pauses, chews at the inside of her lip for a moment. “I just want to know where the line is so that I don’t accidently cross it. I don’t want to make things weird or ruin our… friendship?” 

Juliana’s brow jumps up and she bites her lip around a smile. “Friendship, huh?”

Valentina chuckles, running a hand through her hair. “Well, whatever you want to call this,” she says, gesturing between them. “Acquaintances? A business relationship?” 

Juliana grimaces. “Let’s stick with friendship, okay?”

Two beautiful eyes whip up to hers, and Valentina grins so immediately that Juliana finds her own lips mirror the expression. She closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head with a breathy chuckle.

“Okay, now we’ve established that,” Valentina singsongs, and Juliana can’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm on the other girl’s face. “Let’s toast to our new found friendship.”

She’s excited in her very, Valentina way, in that she’s practically bouncing on her seat, and Juliana just laughs and shakes her head, more than a little charmed by the actress. They cling their glasses together and exchange a prolonged look, simultaneously taking a large sip. 

Valentina’s throat bobs prettily, but then again, is there anything about the actress that’s not infuriatingly pretty? Juliana shakes her head again and internally rolls her eyes at herself.

Valentina studies her a second longer before quirking her lips into a smile, sitting back down fully. She carefully places her glass on the balcony floor and turns to face Juliana again. 

“Since we’re playing lovers, I think it’s important for us to be on the same page. You know, to make sure we’re not overstepping our bounds.”

Juliana nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Let’s start with the physical part,” Valentina says and Juliana doesn’t react beyond a quickening of her heartbeat. “Obviously, nothing we do is real. There’s no emotional connection. It’s mechanical; basic stimulus and response.”

Juliana nods again, distracted by the nervous spark in her chest. 

Valentina bites her lip before she continues. “However, I figure there will be a lot of… intimate scenes between us. Because two people in love are always touching and cuddling, right?”

Juliana hums in agreement and there’s a strange hopefulness on Valentina’s face that Juliana doesn’t know how to interpret. 

“Are you okay with that?” Valentina asks softly, looking almost nervous. “I mean.. you all right with me touching you?”

Juliana’s heart stutters in her chest before picking up speed. It thuds against her ribs as she takes a deep breath at the shaky way she’s starting to feel. 

“Yeah, of course,” she manages to say, “It’s part of the job, right?” 

Valentina blinks and runs a hand through her hair again. “Okay, great..” She pauses for a second, toying with a lock of her own hair. “And if I need to touch you in certain… sensitive areas?” 

At Juliana’s slow grin and raised eyebrow, she hurries to explain. “I don’t mean – we won’t need to practice that, obviously.” Valentina sucks in a breath, blushing slightly. “I won’t touch you like that outside filming the actual scene, so don’t worry”

Juliana swallows and clears her throat, struggling to catch a breath even though her lungs continue to take in air as normal. “Well, as you said, nothing we do is real. And besides, you underestimate my ability to separate my feelings from acting.” 

That didn’t quite come across the way she intended it. That sounds more like she has actual feelings for Valentina, which wasn’t at all what she meant, but Valentina sails past the comment with grace and she’s grateful for it. 

“Okay, good.” Valentina’s gaze flicks down to Juliana lips, for a fraction of a second, and then nervous blue eyes meet hers again. Her next words are whispered, but to Juliana, they are so, so loud, taking up all of the space. “And… kissing?”

Juliana’s brows shoot up and she can’t help a short, nervous laugh from tumbling out. 

“What about kissing?” she blurts out, trying to sound calm. “Do you always practice with your co-stars?” she jokes with a grin on her face that she realizes is probably too flirty to be appropriate but can’t stop.

Valentina blinks and her eyes widen almost comically. “What? No!”

“No?” Juliana counters.

Valentina laughs through her fingers as she covers her mouth with her hand, an attractive blush dusting her cheeks. 

“No, never,” she murmurs, and she actually looks a little embarrassed.

Juliana wants to laugh, but the reality of the conversation has finally caught up to her and she’s having trouble remembering how to breathe. Her palms go a little clammy and she spreads out her fingers to fight the feeling.

Valentina groans and covers her face with her hands. “I wasn’t trying to sound weird,” she breathes out, “I just don’t want anything to get confusing. I don’t want the lines to get blurred, you know? There are a lot of things to think about.”

Her voice is so quiet and soft, and it never fails to astonish Juliana how gentle Valentina is with her, how she trusts her enough to be this vulnerable next to her. The inevitable ‘why’ crawls through her mind, but she chases it away. 

She can’t stop herself from reaching out, gently pulling Valentina’s hands from her face. She watches as the actress takes a deep breath and then her blue eyes shift up to meet Juliana’s.

“It’s okay, Val,” she whispers, slowly releasing her hands. “You’re right, it’s good to talk things through. But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?” 

Valentina nods, shifting slightly closer to her. “I will never ask you to do something you are uncomfortable with, Juls.” 

There’s a fire in Valentina’s eyes as she says the words; a sort of promise that seems to blaze up from her soul. The words are heavy with profound respect that Juliana feels as much as she hears.

“I know,” she whispers, and just saying the words is all it takes for it to hit her that she really means them. 

A shaky smile dances across Valentina’s lips. “It’s just that I’ve never had to play with someone like you before, so..” she starts, leaving the end of the thought dangling, and Juliana frowns in confusion.

“Someone like me?” she asks, tilting her head. “You mean because I’m a woman?”

Valentina’s eyes widen. “No! No, that’s not what I mean at all.” She shakes her head, clearly frustrated with herself. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve never had to play with someone I’m starting to actually care about.”

Juliana gapes, stunned for a moment, and her heart nearly jumps out of her chest with how fast it’s beating. Valentina smiles then, dropping her head just a bit so that her hair falls over her shoulder and hide it, and Juliana finds it endearing and beautiful. She sucks in a breath to get a hold of the butterflies in her stomach, unexpected and strange. 

“You’ll be fine, Val,” Juliana finally finds her tongue to say. “I’ve read a lot of good things about you. Some even say you’re one of the most talented actresses around.”

She leans in closer so that their shoulders are pressed together and Valentina looks up at her with smile, simply taking her in, as if she can’t quite get enough. Juliana feels her own lips curl up in response, and everything in her body seems all too aware of just how close Valentina is to her and just how alone they are. 

A soft thud of a door closing causes them both to flinch and Valentina’s smile slowly vanishes when her gaze locks with something over Juliana’s shoulder. Juliana whips her head around to see a man leaning against the balcony door, a wide and charming smile on his features, and it takes her a second to realize who it is.

She glances back at Valentina and watches the girl’s shoulders slump, her blue eyes widening. It’s a small change in Valentina’s posture, but it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Jason? What- What are you doing here?”


	8. Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter :) Please let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story :)

Part 8

“Jason? What- What are you doing here?” Valentina chokes out, blinking owlishly. “I thought you were in New York?”

Jason pushes himself off of the doorframe, smoothing back his hair. “I was,” he answers with a smile, his teeth startlingly white against his tanned skin. “But I wanted to surprise you. I won’t be seeing much of you once the shooting starts, so..”

He lets the rest of the sentence hang in the air and Juliana’s gaze shifts between them, suddenly feeling very out of place. Valentina lips move like she’s trying to speak but not coming up with any words, her face a few shades paler than a before. She runs a slender hand through her hair and shakes her head, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Well, you did,” she finally whispers, voice cracking. She pushes herself to her feet and glances down at Juliana with an uncertain, almost apologetic expression on her face. Her hands twitch at her sides and Valentina seems to hesitate for a split-second before she moves towards her boyfriend, looking more awkward than Juliana has ever seen her. 

He’s really tall. That’s the first thing Juliana manages to think. He towers over Valentina as he pulls her against his lean frame, a smile lighting his handsome features. He nuzzles his prominent nose into the crook of Valentina’s neck and Juliana tries not to listen, she really does, but she hears his whispered ‘I’ve missed you’ anyway.

Juliana shrinks slightly in her seat and she doesn’t know what to do. All she knows right now is that she shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be witnessing this private moment. Most of all, she shouldn’t be staring at the way he looks at Valentina as he leans back a little to rest their foreheads together, or at the way he brushes his finger across her cheek and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. But it isn’t until he leans down to press a soft kiss to her lips that Juliana actually has to look away. 

She swallows against the bizarre mix of emotions that threaten to overwhelm her, and Juliana wishes she could just disappear, or even better, that she could just run away from everything. She doesn’t understand the things she’s currently feeling, doesn’t understand the sudden wave of nausea wallowing up her throat.

When Valentina and Jason break apart, the actress instantly looks at her, but Juliana doesn’t see it because she’s too busy pretending to check her phone. It’s only when Jason addresses her that she looks up again, gazing into his surprisingly warm and kind eyes.

“Hi,” he says brightly, extending his hand for her to shake. “I don’t think we’ve met.” 

Juliana blinks up at him and pushes herself up to her feet, once again stunned by his height. She gives him a quick once-over – the faded jeans that hugs his long legs as though they might’ve been tailored for him, his broad shoulders stretching the confines of his black button-up shirt – before she slowly takes his out outstretched hand in her own, plastering on a smile. 

“We haven’t,” she replies, her voice surprisingly calm. “I’m Juliana. Nice to meet you.”

Jason’s eyes light up with recognition, and his smile grows even wider. “Ah, Juliana. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you,” he says, squeezing her hand once before letting go.

Juliana blinks at the brightness of his smile and casts a quick glance at Valentina, catching the flash of something in her blue eyes that she can’t quite make out. All she can think to offer is a small smile and it eases the lines of tension in Valentina’s face. 

“You did?” she asks, keeping her eyes trained on the actress. 

A slight blush replaces the paleness on Valentina’s cheeks and her lips curl into an almost shy smile. But a moment later, her smile falters when Jason puts his arm casually around her shoulders and guides her closer. 

“She won’t stop talking about you,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to Valentina’s cheek. “Isn’t that right, babe?” 

Valentina doesn’t verbally answer, just offers him a faint smile, and something flickers in her eyes as her gaze returns to Juliana. “Well, you did make quite an impression on me, you know?” she says, inclining her head slightly. 

Juliana breathes out a laugh, ducking her head to hide her smile. Her stomach flips and a wave of warmth rolls out from the base of her spine to spread across her limbs. She can’t look Valentina in the eyes because if she does, she knows they’re going to give her away. She keeps her heart in her eyes and she’s never quite been able to figure out how to make that stop.

“That’s.. nice of you to say,” she murmurs, brushing a hand through her hair. 

Nice? Really? Juliana blushes and internally rolls her eyes at herself, releasing an awkward laugh. She dares a quick glance up, catching Valentina’s eyes already on her. She doesn’t smile though, she simply gazes back, swallowing. 

“So, uhm.. Have you girls eaten yet?” Jason asks after a moment, glancing between the two of them. “Because I’m starving.”

Valentina doesn’t look up at him as she shakes her head, scanning Juliana’s face like a caress. Juliana shifts a little awkwardly under her gaze, still feeling uncomfortable and distinctly out of place. She hasn’t eaten yet, but food is the last thing on her mind – she’s pretty sure her stomach will reject whatever she tries to feed it. 

“Okay, great,” Jason says, his smile widening again. “Let’s order some tacos and have them delivered, okay?”

There’s a pause while he looks at her expectantly and Juliana’s eyes dart around, suddenly desperate for an excuse to leave. She can’t stay here any longer. “Oh, no, thank you,” she blurts out, glancing to the door. “I should go.”

Valentina’s eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something, but Jason beats her to it. “Ah, that’s a shame, Juliana. I hope you’re not leaving on my account?”

“No, no,” she quickly assures, hearing how awkward the chuckle she lets out sounds and nearly cringing. “No, I’m not. It’s getting late and I should be leaving anyway.”

Valentina frowns, looking confused and maybe even a little hurt. “No, Juls.. Wait,” she chokes out, stepping closer and away from Jason’s hold. “Please, don’t go. Stay.”

She stops right in front of her, her eyes darting back and forth between Juliana’s. Her hands are suspended in the air as if she’d been about to reach out and decided against it, only without fully committing to the retreat.

“We haven’t even started practicing yet,” she whispers and it sounds like a plea, beats across Juliana’s chest with heavy, suffocating pressure. 

“I know,” Juliana whispers, ducking her head a little. She takes a measured breath and glances up again, feeling oddly shaky. “And I’m sorry for that.. you know, for wasting your time.” 

Juliana isn’t sure what she’s seeing on the other girl’s face, but she is sure she never wants to see it there again. Valentina blinks, her entire being still before she whispers, “What? No! How could you..” she pauses for a second, her blue eyes looking almost hurt. She takes a step closer and her hand twitches, like she might reach out, but she doesn’t. “You could never waste my time, Juls.”

Juliana can see just how serious Valentina really is, can read it all over her face. Just like always with Valentina, Juliana feels so many things at once, and she doesn’t quite know how to handle them. 

“Just stay..” Valentina whispers again, her blue eyes practically pleading, and the decision wavers for a moment in Juliana’s brain – a desire to stay with the actress, to not think so much. She closes her eyes tightly shut, just for a second, but she’s unable to block out her thoughts and feelings. 

She just wants to turn back time. She wants to go back to before Jason had appeared. She doesn’t want to feel like this - like she shouldn’t be here, like she’s the third wheel and imposing on their time together. But it’s almost as if Valentina really doesn’t want her to go. But she can’t want her to stay. Right? Her boyfriend came all the way from New York just to spend time together. There’s really no reason for Valentina to want her to stay. 

Juliana blinks her eyes back open and shakes her head, clutching her hands at her sides. “I shouldn’t.” 

Valentina’s eyes dart across her face and she looks so lost, a little worry line etching between her brows. She seems to struggle with her reply, tongue running over her lips and swallowing hard. When she does speak, her voice is quiet, unsure as her words leave her mouth. “Why not?” 

“I-- I just..“ Juliana stammers, trying to come up with an explanation. “Actually, my friend just texted me that she has some kind of emergency,” she lies, holding up her phone. “And she needs me to come over.” 

It looks a lot like Valentina’s about to protest some more, but after a few seconds of just looking at Juliana’s face she must see something that stops her. “Oh, okay,” she says quietly, sounding almost defeated. “I understand.”

Valentina stares at her for a few moments longer, blinking, a sad look on her face that burns at Juliana’s chest. She can tell Valentina is holding back, that there are words she is keeping inside her mouth through sheer force of will. She quickly averts her eyes before the actress can change her mind and turns to Jason, plastering on a smile. “Well, it was nice to finally meet you.” 

He studies her for a moment, shooting Valentina a quick look, before a smile stretches across his face. “Likewise.” He surprises Juliana with a quick, one armed hug. “And I’m sorry for interrupting your time together,” he says softly, his eyes warm, chocolaty brown. 

“No, it’s fine, really,” she quickly reassures, waving her hand dismissively. “I can’t blame you for wanting to see your girlfriend. You two enjoy your time together.” 

Jason offers her another warm smile and reaches out to squeeze her shoulder lightly, once, before taking his hand away again. “Good luck with your friend. I hope she’s okay.”

Juliana blinks, feeling even more guilty about lying to them. But it’s better than the truth, a truth she doesn’t dare to acknowledge, even to herself. She leans down to grab her purse and hooks it over her shoulder, feeling the heat of Valentina’s gaze on her the entire time.

“Thank you,” she whispers, forcing a small smile to her lips. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Valentina says, motioning to the door. Juliana nods and offers Jason one last smile before she walks toward the hallway, hearing Valentina follow closely behind her. 

Once the door closes behind them, the hallway becomes silent in the kind of way that’s deafening to Juliana. She feels sensitive to every movement Valentina makes, to the way she lingers behind her and Juliana a takes a deep, shuddering breath to try and calm down. It doesn’t help. 

They hover near the front door and when she turns to look at the actress, her breath catches in her throat. Valentina looks so nervous and fidgety, moving from foot to foot, and Juliana’s arms ache with the urge to pull her into an embrace.

“Val,” she starts, tentatively, taking a small step towards the actress. “Are you alright?”

Valentina gnaws at her lower lip, tucking her chin for a moment before looking back into Juliana’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she breathes out, suddenly looking panicked. Of something. For something. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea he was coming over.”

Juliana shakes her head, scooting a half-inch closer without thought. “Hey, it’s okay, Val. Really.”

“No, I-- I’m sorry,” Valentina stammers, and there’s that urge again – the one that makes Juliana want to hug her - but she bites it back because she doesn’t know what to do with it. And yet, she can’t seem stop herself from reaching out to take the other girl’s hand, startling them both. 

Valentina’s eyes drift down to their hands and her fingers tighten in response to the unexpected touch. Juliana sucks in a breath and finds an odd sense of comfort in being physically close to Valentina. She fears it is a feeling that may never pass. She fears more the fact that some part of her doesn’t want it to. 

“Don’t be,” she whispers, squeezing Valentina’s hand softly. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” 

Valentina looks up at her through her lashes, her hand twitching in Juliana’s. She thinks Valentina’s trying to pull away, but she isn’t. Instead, she tangles their fingers together, her blue eyes wide and vulnerable. 

Her full lips open and close a few times before she whispers, “Why did you say that earlier? I mean..” Valentina pauses, frowning, and there’s something so innocent in her expression. “Did I ever give you the impression that I didn’t want you here?”

“No!” Juliana quickly blurts out, shaking her head with wide eyes. Valentina is so unsure, so timid, so deeply unlike herself, and it’s her fault. “No, you didn’t, Val. I don’t know why I said that.” 

Valentina’s eyes continue to search her face and she noticeably swallows against whatever she’s feeling. “Because it’s quite the opposite, actually. I really meant it when I said how much I like having you around.” Her voice is small but oh, Juliana can tell how much she means it.

“Right,” Juliana breathes out, losing herself in Valentina’s eyes. They’re so soft and gentle and a little sad and so vibrant blue she finds it difficult to breathe. “You’re just saying that to fluster me, aren’t you?”

And Valentina just lights up like the sun at that – all of her dimples coming out, eyes shining and crinkling around the edges, a smile that makes Juliana feel like melting into the floor. She grins but stops when she sees how the expression on Valentina’s face has changed again. It’s softer, more exposed, and Juliana unknowingly shifts a little closer.

“I’m not, really,” Valentina whispers, her palm clammy in Juliana’s. “You don’t even have the tiniest clue what you-“ she cuts herself off and shakes her head, laughing it off. 

Juliana frowns, deeply curious about whatever she was about to say, and she can make out the careful way Valentina’s breathing. She just looks at her, stares really, watching her for something. A cue, maybe. But Juliana’s too confused and far, far out of her depth, so they stand there in silence, fingers tangled, for long moments that seem to stretch on forever until Valentina asks, “Have dinner with me tomorrow.” 

The question leaves her lips soft and slow like if she says it too quickly Juliana might bolt. It’s not far off from the way Juliana feels, but her desire to say yes is almost too much, and she draws an unsteady breath. “What about Jason?” she asks quietly, raising her brow.

“What about him?” Valentina counters, shooting Juliana a slight but stunning smile. There’s something so attractive about the look that Juliana’s cheeks go hot, and she breathes out a stunned laugh. 

It would help if she had any idea what Valentina wants from her. She doesn’t understand the actress because she is not like anyone else she’s ever met. She has no idea what to do because she’s never been here before. But before she has the chance to form any words, Valentina speaks again. 

“Is it so wrong for me to want to spend more time with you?” she whispers, getting closer, and Juliana can’t be blamed when her gaze flicks to full lips. 

She can feel the fight slowly ebbing out of her and she’s out of excuses. “No, it’s okay. You just surprised me,” she whispers, feeling affection course through her so powerfully that it must shine out of her face, and she quickly ducks her head. “You do that a lot.”

Valentina’s eyes snap up to look at Juliana with something like surprise and awe, mouth falling slightly open, before the tension drains from her frame in relief. “I know this place downtown, it’s perfect,” she whispers, a soft smile on her lips. “It’s small and private.. So we can go over our lines, you know?” she adds in a hurry, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

With a deep breath and a nod, Juliana gives the actress a small smile and a quiet, “Okay,” that prompts a wide smile on Valentina’s face. Juliana squeezes the hand still holding on to her own and her fingers find Valentina’s hair without thinking about it. She pushes it away from her face and then cups her cheek gently.

Valentina lets out a soft sigh that does something to Juliana’s brain and reaches up, covering Juliana’s hand still resting against her cheek. She keeps her hand there for a moment, staring deep into her eyes. Her lips move like she’s searching for something to say, but no words come out. Then she looks down and takes Juliana’s hand in hers, gently pulling it from her cheek. She stares at them for a moment, but instead of withdrawing, she slowly curls her long fingers between Juliana’s.

Juliana sighs when their palms brush together. Electricity shoots up her arm and she finds herself holding her breath in anticipation. She’s overcome with too many feelings and the intensity of the moment. The fine hairs on her neck stand up as Valentina smiles, and before she knows it they’re just standing there in a loose embrace, Valentina’s hands on her hips keeping her in close. 

This is normal. Acceptable. Right? 

But somehow this, whatever this is, feels different. Like something uncharted. Juliana knows she’s pushing at the boundaries of her natural reserve. Then again, every moment she spends with Valentina seems to blur the edges of what she thought she would and wouldn’t do. Every heartbeat pounds against her chest and reality doesn’t come rushing back until the moment they break apart, lingering touches showing their unwillingness. 

Juliana shuffles nervously in place and glances down, suddenly aware she’s still wearing Valentina’s sweatshirt. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she says, reaching down to remove the garment, but Valentina’s long fingers curl around her wrist to stop her.

“No, keep it,” Valentina says, slowly releasing her grip. “It looks better on you anyway.”


	9. Part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thankful for all your comments and kudos :) And I'm really glad you're enjoying this story. Have fun with today's chapter, please let me know what you think :) Things are heating up a little..

Part 9

They agree to meet at some unknown restaurant Valentina swears by and Juliana has never heard of in her entire time in Mexico City. She arrives first and the old, friendly host leads her to a secluded table in the back of the dimly lighted room, helping her into her chair with easy gallantry.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks, his kind expression putting her immediately at ease. “I would recommend our house wine. It’s Miss Valentina’s favorite.”

Juliana blinks up at him and smiles, shifting a little in her seat. “Oh? Well, I guess should try one then.”

He nods and offers her a warm, approving smile. “Good choice, Miss. Coming right up.”

Juliana watches him head off around the corner and lets her eyes wander around the space. The cozy restaurant honors its name ‘Flor’ - every square inch of the restaurant is a decorated with all sorts of flowers, from the ceilings to the floors, the fixtures to the cushions. A beautiful, large plant she can’t name hides their table from view, and Juliana takes advantage of the privacy to tug her dress into a more comfortable position. 

She’d been trying and eliminating outfits for 30 minutes, before finally settling on her favorite simple, but totally beautiful, sleeveless black dress. It has a deceptively modest neckline in front, but her back is left bare, and she’d finished off her outfit with a pair of three-inch-high heels. And if she’s wearing her nicest lace thong, that’s her business. It’s not like anyone is going to see it. It’s just a confidence thing. 

In all honesty, Juliana isn’t sure why she is so concerned with how she looks, because it isn’t like Valentina said she had to get dressed up for the restaurant, but her stomach hasn’t stopped squirming since she woke up this morning and Juliana thinks it might be because this night feels somewhat like a date. 

She quickly shakes herself from this headspace because there’s no way she can be thinking about Valentina like that. She doesn’t want to name it, acknowledge it, for fear she’ll never recover from it when it inevitably ends. But she’s not foolish enough not to recognize the fact that she’s attracted to Valentina. Valentina is beautiful. But she’s a girl. And she doesn’t like girls like that. Right? 

“Hey, hot stuff,” a familiar voice whispers near her ear, breaking her out of her thoughts. She nearly jolts in her seat and her hand flies up to her chest, her heart hammering beneath her palm. Valentina remains close, warm breath gusting over her skin, and Juliana closes her eyes against the onslaught of things she doesn’t want to feel. “Getting started without me, huh?” 

She sucks in a shaky breath and turns her head to look up into Valentina’s eyes, blue, beautiful, intense. “Jesus, you scared me,” she finally breathes out, her voice cracking a little at the end, and she doesn’t bother to stop the smile that crawls onto her face. “Where did you come from?”

Valentina chuckles and flicks a glance up and down her body, the heat in her gaze making Juliana shift in her seat. “I usually take the back entrance,” Valentina explains with a soft smile, “Keep the press from finding out I’m here, you know?”

Juliana lowers her head, a sheepish grin on her face. She sometimes forgets just how famous the actress really is. “Oh, yeah. Of course, that makes sense.” 

She’d mentioned being hounded by the press and by autograph seekers. While Juliana is still able to walk around in public without being recognized and approached, Valentina, on the other hand, isn’t. She’s stripped of her ability to experience the world like everyone else, and Juliana kind of dreads the prospect of becoming such a public figure. 

Valentina moves to stand beside her and Juliana slowly pushes herself up on shaky legs, rearranging the fabric of her dress. Valentina’s hands twitch forward as if to take hold of Juliana’s but she pulls back. Honestly, Juliana can’t tell the difference.

“Hey,” the actress whispers, and meeting her vibrant blue gaze goes through Juliana like an electric shock. There’s a beat of silence where they’re just basking in the sight of each other.

“Hey, yourself,” she breathes out as she gives Valentina the slowest once-over she has done in her life. 

Because the other girl is wearing a sleeveless deep blue dress that falls a couple of inches above her knees, and the heels she wears serve to make her already mile-long legs look even longer. The neckline of her dress is temptingly low and the clingy fabric pays tribute to her curves, hugging her hips and the dip of her waist. Her hair is tossed back over her shoulder, revealing a sparkly pair of dangling earrings, the enticing line of her neck and the gentle slope of her shoulders. 

She’s stunning, and Juliana watches her unblinkingly for so long that her eyes ache alongside every other organ in her body. Valentina’s lips are parted just an inch, and while her body seems to be frozen in place, blue eyes rake up and down her body, shamelessly checking her out. 

Valentina subtly looks around to make sure no one is within earshot. Still, she lowers her voice when she says, “Look at you, Juls.” She swallows and Juliana catches the briefest flash of something deeper and darker across Valentina’s face, something that makes her flush warm from her neck down her spine. “You’re so beautiful. Do you know that?” 

Juliana bites her lower lip and looks down with a grin she can’t help. She doesn’t know why she’s so bashful, given how regularly Valentina complements her. She knows she’s blushing, and Valentina grins in a way that assures Juliana that she’s definitely blushing. It takes her moment to regain the power of speech, swallowing around the sudden tightness in her throat. 

“So are you, Val. You look..” Juliana’s vocabulary fails her, unable to settle on an adjective that would do Valentina justice. Astounding. Mesmerizing. Breathtaking. “Stunning.” 

A slight flush creeps up Valentina’s cheeks when she whispers, “Thank you.” 

The next thing she knows, Valentina is stepping into her space, her arms circling around her waist. A warm, smooth-skinned hand spreads between her shoulder blades and Juliana can practically feel the tiny hairs all over her body spring to attention. The fingers gliding over her back are light and slender, and the touch is almost feather-like. It leaves her breathless.

Juliana closes her eyes when the actress angles her face to press her incredibly soft lips against her cheek, the pressure warm, soft and lingering just a touch too long. It’s only the distant noise of laughter and chatter that eventually leads Juliana to open her eyes and puff out a long breath, one she feels like she’s been holding for longer than should be possible. 

Valentina’s fingers flex once, sending a wave of shivers down Juliana’s spine, but soon she drops her hands and returns them to her own body. Their eyes lock and Juliana smiles bashfully, dipping her head and smoothing her brow. 

“Nice place, huh?” Valentina says, clearing her throat. She finally turns around then, walking around to the other side of the table, and Juliana can’t take her eyes off of the other girl’s legs. “I come here all the time when I want to avoid the press.”

“Miss Valentina!” a voice calls out enthusiastically, and Juliana drags her eyes away from Valentina’s figure to watch the host approach their table with a wide, genuine smile. “It’s so good to have you here again.” 

“Mario!” the actress exclaims, voice pitching high in excitement. She practically bounces in place before she envelops him in a brief hug. “It’s good to be back.” 

He pulls away and holds the actress at arm’s length, examining her face with an almost proud smile. “Beautiful as ever.” 

Valentina grins up at him as he pulls back her chair to sit down opposite to Juliana and they share a warm smile, obviously very familiar with each other. “So what can I get you, my child? Your usual?”

Valentina chuckles and nods her head. “Yes, please.”

“Coming right up,” he says, glancing between the two of them. “Go, get comfortable. No one will bother you and your beautiful friend here.” 

Juliana ducks her head and smiles, feeling her cheeks heat all over again.

“Yeah, she is, isn’t she?” Valentina quips, flashing Juliana a blinding smile, complete with extraordinary dimples and perfect teeth. 

“Oh, stop it,” Juliana breathes out, glancing down at her hands. Valentina waits until Mario moves away to check on another table before she whispers, “Learn how to take a compliment, Juls.” 

Her eyes snap up to Valentina’s and she shrugs self-consciously. “I’m not really used to it.”

A perfectly sculptured brow raises. “That’s hard to believe.” 

Juliana laughs nervously in response and she has to look away from the intensity of Valentina’s stare to take a deep, calming breath. “Valentina Carvajal, smooth talker,” she sasses, and they both erupt into laughter.

Valentina shakes her head, laughter quieted now, looking up at Juliana with a soft smile. “Is your friend okay?” 

Juliana frowns in confusion, honestly unsure of what she’s talking about. “What do you mean?” 

Valentina frowns, tilting her head slightly. “Your friend had some kind of emergency, right?”

Juliana’s eyes widen in response, a flash of guilt shooting through her. “Oh, yeah, she’s fine,” she quickly blurts out, waving her hand dismissively. “It turned out to be nothing. Thanks for asking.”

Valentina studies her face for what feels like an endless moment, blue eyes darting between her own, and it’s only when Mario reappears at their table, handing Valentina a glass of wine, that Juliana releases the breath she’s been holding. 

“Here you go, my child. Can I get you anything else?” 

Valentina shoots her a quick glance before looking back up at Mario with a smile. “No, not yet. Thank you.” He nods curtly and steps away, leaving the two of them alone again. 

Valentina is still looking at her, and it’s starting to get uncomfortably warm. “So, how was your night?” Juliana finally manages to ask, plastering on a smile. “It must be so nice to finally be together again.”

Valentina’s expression falters for a millisecond before she catches it. “Yeah, it’s really nice to have him around,” she says, her casual tone wholly at odds with the meaning of her words.

Juliana’s eyes drift down to Valentina’s hand, watching as her slender fingers nervously curl around the stem of her wineglass. She hesitates, biting at her lower lip, before she asks, “Are you alright?”

It seems to take Valentina off-guard, her eyes widening slightly. “Yeah, I’m okay. Why?”

“It’s just that..” Juliana tries to tread carefully, glancing down at Valentina’s hand. “You seem a little… off. I was just wondering if everything’s alright.”

Valentina smiles but doesn’t quite meet Juliana’s eyes, simply fiddling with the stem of her wineglass. “I..” she trails off and shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

Juliana frowns. “It’s obviously something.”

Valentina laughs, finally meeting her eyes again, looking a little vulnerable. “I guess I can’t hide anything from you, huh?” 

Juliana offers her a soft smile, urging her to continue.

“It’s just that..” Valentina starts, brushing a hand through her hair. “I feel like… like there’s something missing between us. I don’t really know what it is..” She makes a vague gesture with her hands before she continues, “It’s like some kind of spark, you know? It feels like we’re just existing, just getting by. Not really living. Does that makes sense?”

Juliana nods but remains quiet, waiting patiently for Valentina to continue. 

“I know he’s a wonderful boyfriend. And he’s kind of my best friend..” Valentina pauses and frowns like she’s struggling with her words. “But I’m not too sure about the love part.. I mean, there’s certainly a part of me that loves him, but..” She hesitates for a beat, taking a breath. “But it’s kind of boring..”

Juliana’s brows shoot up, not expecting such a confession from Valentina. 

“Yeah, I know that’s a horrible thing to say,” Valentina whispers, and it’s supposed to be a joke - Juliana even laughs at her cue - but there’s something heart-wrenching about it, something she can’t quite pinpoint. 

“So you’re looking for someone more exciting?” Juliana asks with a slight smile, trying to elevate the other girl’s mood.

Valentina hums and takes a moment to consider the question. “Maybe.” She takes a sip of her wine and watches Juliana thoughtfully. “The truth is he doesn’t challenge me in any way. Not my brain or my soul or..”

“Or your body?” Juliana finishes before she can stop the words from spilling out. She feels her cheeks flush and Valentina blinks up at her in surprise, nodding her head once.

“Yeah. Well, obviously he’s very attractive and everything, but.. I just don’t feel it. I’m not sure if I’ve ever really felt that with him.. I mean, I thought I did.. But now I’m not so sure anymore.”

Juliana wants to ask her to explain what she means by ‘now I’m not sure anymore’, but before she can even open her mouth, Valentina speaks up again. “We didn’t do anything… Intimate,” she reveals suddenly, much to Juliana’s surprise and unexpected satisfaction. 

She runs the words over in her mind a few times while Valentina watches. Juliana bites her lip around a smile and shakes her head, unsure how to respond to that. 

“I told him I had a headache,” Valentina whispers, flushing slightly, and Juliana does laugh at that. 

“You haven’t,” she counters, raising her brow.

Valentina chuckles and buries her face in her hands. “Please don’t judge me.”

“I would never judge you,” Juliana instantly replies in a surprisingly confident voice that she hardly recognizes. Valentina relaxes at her words, the rigid shape of her shoulders softening. After another moment, she finally looks up again. 

“My mantra’s always been to live in the moment, you know? But I can’t do that with him. He’s here with me, but at the same time he’s not really here. His mind is already planning our next visit before we’ve even finished this one.”

Juliana wrinkles her nose. “That sounds exhausting..”

“Yeah, it does.. I mean, having goals and planning for the future is good. But if you live all your time for a future time, you are missing so much of life.” Valentina glances down for a second, fiddling with her bracelet. “If you’re always living for ‘when’.. what if that time never comes? You have let so much pass you by, it is gone, lost.” 

Valentina’s eyes drift off in an unfocused way for a second before returning to Juliana’s. “He doesn’t have a spontaneous, impulsive bone in his body.”

Juliana snorts, taking a small sip of her wine. “Well, he did surprise you yesterday, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Valentina counters before she mutters under her breath, “Speaking of perfect timing..” 

Juliana leans a little closer, not sure if she’s heard Valentina correctly. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Valentina murmurs, shrugging it off, and Juliana watches a slight blush creep onto the other girl’s cheeks. “That’s not the point.”

Juliana’s heart rate nearly doubles when Valentina reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together on the table. Valentina looks down at their hands and lets out a soft, almost nervous laugh. “But when I’m with you, I forget all that. You make me feel.. new..” 

Juliana stills at the words and Valentina holds her gaze. “I can’t remember a time I’ve… connected with anyone the way I have with you, Juls,” she continues, and here they are again, talking to each other with waves of emotional undercurrents that Juliana has no idea how to navigate. “I can’t really explain it, but everything seems brighter, better, for having you in my life.” 

Juliana sucks in a breath, unable to break their gaze or to say anything for a moment. Valentina rubs her thumb over her knuckles and Juliana’s not ready to decipher whatever it is that’s swimming deep in Valentina’s blue eyes. 

“You make me feel like myself,” Valentina whispers, ducking her head slightly. “And I don’t think I’ve ever felt like just… me, before. Everything I’ve done has been for other people. You are the first thing I ever do for me.” 

Blue eyes slide away briefly before meeting wide, brown ones again, shining with such emotion that it steals Juliana’s breath away. “You’ve been exactly what I need,” she finishes, and their eye contact is prolonged an heavy. It’s only broken when Mario appears at their table, their hands slowly slipping away from each other.

* * *

The hours pass freely, the food soon disappears from their plates, but the two girls keep talking like time is no concept at all. They talk about the shooting schedule for the weeks ahead and actually finish running their lines together. The restaurant becomes more and more deserted without either of them realizing until Mario is stopping by with an apologetic expression on his face and the check. A look at her watch tells her it’s just past midnight and Juliana’s jaw drops a bit. 

There’s something about Valentina that makes her world spin on its axes, causing time to fly by way too fast. There’s something in the air between them, and she’d been foolish to think that things between them were simply friendly. And perhaps for the first time, she lets herself feel it. And she feels a lot. Much more than she’s willing to admit. Valentina is beautiful. It’s as simple, and as complicated, as that. 

“Ready to leave?” Valentina’s voice startles her out of her thoughts and she quickly nods, pushing herself out of her seat. Valentina smiles and reaches out her hand, barely brushing the length of Juliana’s arm before warm, slender fingers slip around her wrist. She takes several steps backward and tugs gently at her wrist, pulling Juliana along.

“So, who do you think will make the first move?” the actress asks as she leads Juliana though the back entrance and into a dark alley, barely noticeable from the streets. A gust of wind blows some strands of hair across her face and she tucks them behind her ear with her free hand. 

“What do you mean?” Juliana asks, honestly unsure of what she’s is talking about. Valentina turns to face her, her blue eyes twinkling in the darkness, before she says, “Sofia or Valeria?” 

Juliana snorts. “Sofia, surely,” she counters, playing along. Valentina’s brows raise in challenge and she pulls Juliana slightly closer to her. 

“No way!” the actress scoffs playfully, looking at Juliana’s lips more than anything. “I bet it’s Valeria.”

“What?” Juliana blurts out, her eyes darting across Valentina’s face. Her heart rate picks up a few notches and she tries to calm it down but she can’t manage it. “Why not?” 

“She’s way too shy,” Valentina teases, and Juliana’s not sure how they got this close to each other, almost breathing the same air. She tries not to let her eyes drop down to Valentina’s mouth, but she’s in no way successful. 

“I’m-- she’s not,” Juliana defends, her cheeks flushing at her near slip up. “She’s the brave one,” she adds, stubbornly sticking her chin out. Valentina laughs her soft, melodious laugh, drawing Juliana’s attention to her lips again, and her chest starts to flutter so intensely she feels like she can’t breathe.

“Is she now?” Valentina whispers into the space between them, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as her gaze finds the curve of Juliana’s mouth. And Juliana knows this is blurring some sort of line between banter and flirting, but she can’t find it in herself to care. 

She watches Valentina for a few moments with slowly blinking eyes, and she sucks in a breath when the actress reaches up to smooth a lock of raven hair behind her ear. Valentina steps even closer and they press chest-to chest until Juliana’s back gently hits the wall behind her. 

There is a small, stunned moment that passes between them, quick like a zap of electricity, before Valentina runs a thumb across her cheekbone. ”I can’t wait to find out.”

Sparkling blue eyes dart down to her lips and Juliana knows they’re about to cross a line – thinks maybe they already have – but she doesn’t know how to stop it. In that moment it is just the two of them, frozen between seconds. Neither girl moves, just stares, caught and enchanted. 

“Me neither,” Juliana whispers just above her breath, her heart starting to thud heavily at their proximity and at the direction the conversation is taking. Her thoughts already feel jumbled and out of order and the way Valentina is looking at her, the way she’s standing just inches away, just makes it worse.

Valentina lets out a breathy laugh in answer, the sound shaking at the edges as Juliana gently places her hands on her waist, brushing her thumb upon the bone of her hip. She doesn’t know whether she’s the one shivering or if it’s Valentina, but it’s causing the tiny hairs at the nape of her neck to rise in a combination of anticipation, confusion, and need. 

It’s the alcohol, Juliana thinks, but some part of her knows that isn’t entirely true. She feels something for Valentina, something new and fragile, but also exciting in its power. 

Valentina’s face is mere inches away from her own, their lips almost touching, and Juliana can see the other girl is having a hard time with their close proximity too. Nevertheless, neither makes a move to pull back or disengage. Instead, Juliana tightens her grip on the other girl’s hips and pulls her slightly closer, bringing their lower bodies flush. 

There are what feels like a hundred different emotions rattling around in her head, voices whispering at her to do one thing or another and she can’t seem to think straight. She lets out a shaky, involuntary sigh, knowing that it brushes over Valentina’s lips, caressing. And her eyes helplessly drift down to Valentina’s perfect, sensual mouth again. She can no longer deny she wants to taste those lips, feel them against her own. They’re a craving she didn’t even know she had. 

“Juls,” Valentina breathes out, and Juliana swears she feels the slightest tremor in the other girl’s hand when she touches Juliana’s cheek, her jaw, the dimple in her chin, eyes tracking movements of slightly shaking fingers. Valentina stares at her like she never wants to look away, and Juliana doesn’t understand how one person can make you feel so much all at once.

She tries to bring her heartrate down and closes her eyes to try and prevent herself from feeling the effect of Valentina’s proximity any more than she already is. Usually, she’s quite good at blocking things out. But, for some reason, every time Valentina’s around her, her ability to black out anything flies out of the window. She can’t control herself. Not the way she normally does. And that’s terrifying. 

It’s the shift of Valentina’s hips, the sudden movement, that causes Juliana to blink her eyes back open again. And that eye contact… it’s electric. It shorts Juliana’s brain. Sends a bolt down her spine. The air between them feels heavy, feels hard to pull into lungs. They should not be so comfortable this close, they should not be breathing this heavy, pretending to tease each other but searching each other’s face for so much more. 

Juliana swallows as Valentina’s hand settles at the back of her neck and two foreheads meet in the middle, forcing them both to close their eyes as they breathe together in the darkness. It crosses Juliana’s mind that there are so many things wrong with what they’re doing, but it feels so right. She lets her hand roam over Valentina’s back, warm and silky, the muscles flexing under her palm. 

“Juls,” Valentina murmurs again, and Juliana watches her wet her lips, and the sudden, deep urge to be the one to do it for her is frightening. She’s leaning close – too close now – and oh god, she’s going to kiss her. She’s going to kiss Valentina Carvajal here in some dark alley, and in this moment she doesn’t give a damn about the consequences. 

They take it in turns glancing at each other’s mouths, and there’s an unfocused, glassy look in Valentina’s eyes. She curls her fingers around Juliana’s neck, thumb stroking over the hinge of her jaw, and she’s so soft and careful. Juliana nudges their noses together and her hand lifts to slowly stroke a wayward lock from Valentina’s face. 

Valentina studies her face for a long, slow moment before her breath hitches and she empties the space between them. Juliana sees blue eyes flutter closed before her own do, and she’s so lost in it that she almost forgets to pull back. 

It’s the puff of warm air against her lips that wakes her up, the hot streak of desire that comes with it, begging her to close the distance between them. And that’s something she can never, under any circumstances, allow herself to want, let alone act on.

“Val,” she chokes out, breathless, her hands pressing feather light into Valentina’s chest. “Val, wait, we shouldn’t..” 

What did she just do? We almost k—she can’t even bring herself to finish that thought. She frowns down at herself. She wanted to kiss Valentina and she very nearly did. And she still does. And that is the worst part. What is wrong with her?

Blue eyes barely manage to tear away from Juliana’s lips to meet her gaze and Valentina swallows. She blinks her eyes a few times before they widen, and Juliana grasps her wrist before she can jump away. “Oh god, I’m sorry, Juliana, I--“ Valentina chokes out, glancing down nervously. 

Juliana sighs before smoothing a hand through dark hair. “What are we doing?” she whispers, trying to catch Valentina’s gaze. She needs to know for herself, she needs to know what’s going on in Valentina’s head so she can make sense of it all. 

Valentina seems to struggle with her reply, tongue running over her lips and swallowing hard. When she does speak, her voice is quiet; unsure as her words leave her mouth. “I don’t know.. I- I have no idea.”

Juliana shakes her head and she has no idea what to say; she doesn’t want to admit to Valentina what she’s really only beginning to come to terms with herself. But the panicked look in the other girl’s eyes causes her to say, “It’s okay, Val.” She squeezes Valentina’s wrist gently before letting go. “I just-- I don’t think this.. Whatever this is.. is a good idea.”

Valentina nods, nervously running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, you’re right. It must be the wine,” she jokes, but the words come out too high-pitched and shaky.

“Yeah, it must be..” Juliana lies, offering her a slight smile.

Valentina places a hand on her own forehead and releases a breathy laugh, her eyes darting around. “This is so awkward.”

“Is it?” Juliana counters with a teasing tilt to her head – an effort to alleviate some of the tension. The trick seems to work, because she can practically see the tension drain out of Valentina’s shoulders, her face lighting up with a surprised grin.


	10. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for all your comments and kudos. I love every single one of them. Here's another chapter :) Enjoy!

Part 10

“Let’s go out,” Deborah grins as she plops herself down on the couch next to Juliana. “First round’s on me.”

Juliana glances up from her phone, settling back against the cushions. “Not tonight.”

“Ah, Juls.. Why not?” Deborah pouts, giving her best puppy dog eyes impression.

Juliana chuckles and feels her resolve crumble for just a second. “Because I have to be up early tomorrow.”

Deborah snorts. “Since when do you wake up early?” 

“Since Valentina is picking me up in the morning,” Juliana replies with a smile that ends up being a dopey grin. 

Somehow blue eyes and full lips are always too present in her mind and she constantly reminds herself that she’s not supposed to feel this pull toward her co-star. But it seems inevitable and no matter how often she tells herself that Valentina is off limits, she can’t help it. Can’t fight it. 

A loud snort breaks her out of her haze, but when she looks over, Deborah is the model of innocence. Well, smirking innocence. 

“What?” Juliana blurts out, tilting her head.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time together lately,” Deborah remarks, completely nonchalant and yet wholly serious. “Should I be worried?”

Juliana frowns. “Worried? About what?”

Deborah just grins, nudging her shoulder playfully. “Are you replacing me?”

“Oh, shut up, Deb,” Juliana chuckles and lightly shoves her away. “What are you? Twelve or something?”

Deborah huffs dramatically, leaning her head back against the cushions. “I can’t believe you’re treating me this way. I’m wounded. I’ll never recover.” 

Deborah looks at her sideways and Juliana laughs lightly, rolling her eyes at her best friend’s antics. “You’re ridiculous,” she huffs, and they both erupt into laughter. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Deborah shrugs and takes a large swig of her beer. “We should get out soon, though. It’ll be good for you,” she says, giving Juliana a pointed look. “I’m just saying, you haven’t dated anyone in a while. That I know of,” she adds, rather cheekily.

Juliana shakes her head, glancing down at her lap. “I’m not looking at the moment.”

Deborah frowns and studies Juliana’s face for a long moment, chewing her bottom lip. “Something’s different about you, Juls.” 

“What do you mean?”

Deborah shrugs. “You just seem different, is all.” 

Juliana ignores the look her friend is giving her. Tries to shake it off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“I think you do,” Deborah challenges, keeping her eyes trained on Juliana. “And I think it has something to do with Valentina,” she continues, unfazed. “Because whenever I mention her.. or whenever you talk about her, your face does... this thing.”

“This thing?” Juliana counters, quirking her brow.

Deborah chuckles, taking another overly enthusiastic swig of her beer, causing the foam to rise dangerously close to the top of the bottle. “Yeah. You know, like a glow-worm,” she smirks, and wiggles her eyebrows. “I guess it’s because you’re attracted to her. I mean, that much is obvious to anyone with eyes in a ten foot radius of you two.”

Juliana is caught between wanting to freeze, attempting to deny it, and sighing into her hands. “You’ve never even seen us together,” she replies, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh, my dear, sweet friend..” Deborah drawls, leaning slightly closer. “I really don’t need to. It’s written all over your face every time you mention her name.”

Juliana drops her face into her hands to hide the unbidden blush on her cheeks, and Deborah cackles beside her. “I mentioned the glowing right? You’re glowing.”

“Why are you so obsessed with this?” Juliana scoffs, then hesitates. She doesn’t want to think about her feelings, let alone talk about them, but the truth of everything is sitting on her tongue and waiting to be spilled. If she talks about it, if she admits any of it, there’s no going back. But she knows Deborah will never drop it. Has never dropped anything in the long time Juliana has known her. “What do you think you see when I mention her?” 

“Who, Valentina?” Deborah counters, snorting out a laugh. “Yeah, see? That’s what I’m talking about,” she quips, pointing at Juliana’s face. 

Juliana sighs and she should have known that she can never keep anything from her best friend. She’s deeply torn between wanting to tell her, but not exactly ready yet. 

“I love you, Deb. But will you just drop it already?” She waves her hand and tries to shake it off, to change the subject. “Maybe I’m not ready to deal with it. Maybe I’m too busy with preparing for this role. Maybe it’s none of your business.”

Deborah stares at her but Juliana doesn’t break.

“Fine, be that way,” Deborah huffs, grabbing her beer. “But, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

* * *

“Welcome to the show!” 

Deborah looks up from her phone and her eyes widen as they land on the large flat-screen television on the wall opposing the couch. She reaches for the remote and turns up the volume, blinking owlishly at the screen. 

“Thank you for having me. It’s so nice to be here. It’s been a while.”

Her mouth falls open and it takes her a second to find her voice. “Juls, come here!” she nearly shrieks over her shoulder, bouncing in her seat. “Come here! Quickly!” 

“What is it?” Juliana yells back from the kitchen, wiping her hands clean on a towel and taking a large bite of her sandwich.

“Valentina is on TV! Come here quickly!”

Juliana’s eyes widen and she hastily swallows her bite of sandwich, nearly choking as it goes down in an overlarge lump. She rushes back into the living room and drops onto the couch next to Deborah, curling her legs underneath her, and her heart skips a beat when Valentina’s face appears on the TV screen. 

Her beautiful face is calm and composed, her back straight, her long legs crossed neatly, and her hands folded in her lap. And, really, it’s just rude. Because of course Valentina looks like a runway model - her hair down and wavy and over one shoulder in that way Juliana tries not to dream about. Her makeup is light and tasteful and she looks so much larger-than-life on television. 

Juliana closes her eyes for a second and takes a deep, deep breath.

“So how have you been doing since your last time on the show?” the host asks, flashing the actress a warm smile. 

“I’ve been doing just fine, thank you,” Valentina replies, and Juliana is not surprised by how eloquent and beautiful the actress is when she speaks. Juliana is entranced by her and so is the host, who’s leaning a little closer, his voice low and eager. 

“And how’s Jason?” 

A picture of Jason arriving at Mexico City International Airport appears on the screen, carrying his luggage and his eyes hidden behind a pair of expensive looking sunglasses, before the camera captures Valentina’s face again. 

Juliana watches the way her features crumble for just a split second, and it’s enough for Juliana’s hands to twitch in her lap, wanting to reach out, to comfort her. But it’s just a screen, and Valentina is not here with her, not to be touched, nor held. 

“We assumed he came down here to be with you,” the host continues, a sly smile twitching at his lips. Valentina turns her head to the side so that Juliana can’t see her expression for a moment. When she turns back Juliana watches the way the actress seems to force a smile on her face. 

“You know I don’t discuss my personal life,” she answers rather robotically. 

The host shrugs his shoulders and shows his palms, smiling almost apologetically. “Well, it was worth a shot.” Valentina offers him a tight lipped smile and wraps her hands together in her lap, shifting slightly in her seat.

“She’s always so secretive about him,” Deborah murmurs, “They are together, right?” 

Juliana just nods, not wanting to miss a single second of the interview. And besides, she’d rather not discuss nor think about that particular topic. 

“So, Valentina, tell us about your new project,” the host continues, leaning back in his chair. “You’re going to play one of the lead roles on Alejando Rodriguez’s new Netflix show, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Valentina replies, her face lighting up.

“Can you tell us a little more about it?” he asks, tilting his head slightly. 

Valentina’s smile grows warm and her body softens its posture. “Well, for starters, I’m very, very excited about this role. You always try to take on characters that are interesting and try to tell a story that touches people. But it’s very special that you take on something that has so rarely been done before.” Valentina pauses for a second, biting her lip.

“Jesus, she’s gorgeous,” Deborah whispers under her breath, sipping her beer and shaking her head. Her eyes are glued to the screen, so she doesn’t notice the way Juliana’s cheeks flame red. 

“I’m so excited about it,” Valentina continues, “Because we’re telling a story that we generally don’t see on Mexican television. And I think we need to change that.” She gestures with her hands, clearly more in her element, and Juliana can feel her mouth quirking at the corners. “I think we’ve made some moves in the direction of changing that, but in a country as conservative as ours, old thinking habits and patterns take time to change.”

Deborah nudges Juliana with her elbow, startling her into meeting her eyes. “She’s so well spoken and graceful. She makes it look so easy! Watch and learn, my friend,” Deborah tells her with a slightly stunned smile, and there’s so much awe that tinges her words. Juliana scoffs, quickly returning her attention to the screen.

“Right, I’m totally with you here,” the host says, folding his hands in his lap. “Because you’re portraying Valeria, a girl who realizes at some point that she’s gay.. Or that she’s in love with a girl.”

Valentina smiles, brushing a hand through her long hair. “You know what’s so beautiful about the way we’re treating this story? The show isn’t built around if they kiss or if they don’t kiss. It’s a story about a friendship that, like everything else in life, evolves. Everyone can relate to that.”

Valentina is charismatic; the kind that draws you in, but is not showy. And Juliana is. Completely and wholly drawn to her. And when the host appears on screen she can see that he’s drawn in too. 

“There’s a very clear suggestion from the start of the show that Sofia and Valeria are two friends who fall in love,” Valentina continues, her sparkling blue eyes beautifully captured by the camera. “But they may not necessarily be gay. What we’re trying to do is drop the labels.” 

Valentina shakes her head and smiles, leaning back in her seat. “Everyone always asks, ‘are you gay?’ But it’s not about that, you know? It’s about love. Love regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation.” 

“Yes, that’s right,” the host agrees, a slight frown settling between his brows. “But there are still many taboos in this country. There were many other productions that tried to cover relationships between two men or two women. And they made certain scenes, they filmed them, and then they got cut off by the network… That’s one of the main reasons why the show will appear on Netflix, right?”

Valentina shrugs. “I don’t know,” she responds truthfully, “You’ll have to ask Alejandro about that.. But it would be a shame if censorship prevents us from telling the story the way we want to tell it.. from the way it deserves to be told.”

The host hums in agreement. “Speaking of censorship.. What about a kiss? How would you feel about that?”

Valentina breathes out a laugh, smoothing her hair over her shoulder. “Well, it’s something I’ve never done before. We’re accustomed to kiss a guy and for people it’s the norm to see a girl kiss a guy.” 

She shakes her head and Juliana watches her breathlessly. “Even my father was like: ‘Hey, but are you going to kiss a girl?’ And I was like: ‘Dad, please! What are you talking about, you know?” Her eyes sparkle and her hands move around excitedly in front of her, emphasizing her words.

Deborah snorts and nudges Juliana’s shoulder, effectively gaining her attention. “That sounds a lot like Lupe’s reaction. I still wish I could’ve seen her face!”

“Shhh,” Juliana shushes her friend, fighting back a chuckle. She whips her attention back to the screen, leaning slightly closer.

“But the truth is that we’re really comfortable around each other,” Valentina tells the host, and Juliana’s heart forgets for a moment that it needs to beat. “And it helps that Juliana and I are friends, because when you have trust in someone you can talk more openly.” 

“Juliana Valdes, right?” the host asks, quirking his brow.

“Yes,” Valentina replies, an obviously fond smile slipping onto her face.

Juliana gasps when a picture of her own face appears on the screen and Deborah squeals beside her, making her flinch. 

“Juls, you’re on national television!! You’re freaking famous!” 

Deborah snatches her phone off the coffee table and quickly snaps a picture of Juliana, releasing another high-pitched squeal. Juliana throws a cushion at her friend in response, grinning. “Shut up, let me listen.” 

“She’s fairly unknown as an actress, right?” the host asks Valentina, “I’ve never heard of her before.”

“Oh, you will,” Valentina counters immediately, and a smile stretches so widely across her face that Juliana feels her own mouth mimicking it in reaction. “Aside from being an extremely nice person, she’s extremely talented. That’s why they chose her for this role.” 

Juliana breathes in against the warm blanket of affection that covers her suddenly, and she has to bite down on the biggest cheek-splitting grin, teeth pulling at her bottom lip. She feels Deborah’s eyes on the side of her face, but she doesn’t want to look away from the screen, not even for a second.

“I couldn’t have wished for a better co-star,” she says, looking solemnly into the camera, almost as if she’s talking directly at Juliana. “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime,” she continues clearly and with feeling. So clearly that it can’t possibly be mistaken of its authenticity. “Her optimism, encouragement and friendship is a blessing.”

Juliana blinks, trying to remember how to breathe again.

“Those are some lovely words,” the host says with a smile, taking a small sip of his water. “But let’s go back to your earlier statement. Obviously, I’m not an actor.. But what do you mean by we can talk about it? Is it like: ‘Hey we’re gonna touch lips, but not tongues?’ That’s what I imagine.. but you tell us.”

Valentina laughs. Full and real. It’s music to Juliana’s ears, and to the butterflies dancing in her stomach. “Well, generally when we kiss someone in front of the camera, there isn’t much contact. It’s more of a peck.. it’s not a French kiss, obviously.”

“Only lips, no tongue?” the host asks, raising his brows. “Something like that?”

Valentina nods. “Yes. It only happens when the director requests it, and when the kiss needs to be that way.”

“And in this case?” the host asks, and he’s still far too enthusiastic about the subject, though Juliana can’t really blame him for his curiosity. “Was it requested?”

Valentina chuckles, toying with the ends of her hair. “I don’t know about that,” she responds, “It isn’t scripted yet.” 

Juliana flinches when her phone vibrates in her pocket, indicating a message, and her whole body buzzes when she sees who it’s from.

[Valentina]  
I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

Juliana bites her lip as she types out a response, her fingers shaking slightly. 

[Juliana]  
Me too. 

[Juliana]  
PS Why didn’t you tell me about your TV interview?

[Valentina]  
Are you watching it? 

[Juliana]  
Yes, I am.

“Thank you Valentina for coming. You’re a very intelligent woman,” the host finishes, but Juliana doesn’t look up because her phone vibrates in her palm again.

[Valentina]  
Don’t I look nice? ;)

Juliana snorts and shakes her head, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

“What’s that smile for?” Deborah interrupts her typing. Juliana looks up from her phone, finding her best friend watching her with an amused expression. 

“Nothing,” she mumbles. 

Deborah chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Sure.”

She quickly types out her reply, her finger hovering over the send button on her cell phone. She closes her eyes before she can stop herself and presses the button. Still, it feels bold and makes her heart race.

[Juliana]  
You hardly look just nice, Val..

[Valentina]  
Oh?

[Juliana]  
Now you’re just fishing for compliments.

[Valentina]  
Maybe I am.

She follows up her last message with the smirking emoji and Juliana laughs out loud. 

[Juliana]  
See you tomorrow, Val.

[Valentina]  
Can’t wait. X

“Are we going to skip over the blushing thing you had going on just now?” Deborah teases, her eyes glistening with mischief.

Juliana sighs and slides her phone back into her pocket, brushing her hair out of her face. “Don’t even.. Why are you even looking at me?” she sasses and tries to shove her friend. Deborah just laughs even harder, dodging her reach.


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter :) Thanks for sticking with this story and enjoy!

Although it’s nine o’clock in the morning, Juliana actually feels remarkably awake. She’d been up and showered for hours already, mentally preparing herself for her first promotional photoshoot. Since her arrival, she’d been rushed through hair, makeup, and wardrobe, before being pulled aside by Rafael, the photographer.

“Now that’s exactly the Sofia I had in mind,” he smiles, giving her a friendly once over. 

Juliana smiles and glances down at the skin tight jeans she wears, the white Converse sneakers that squeak a little on the linoleum floor, and the tight white top under a thin leather jacket. 

“Yeah, they worked their magic on me,” she replies with a smile, waving a hand down her body.

Rafael laughs in response and his grin makes him look even younger. He can easily pass for a high school student, wearing a faded black t-shirt, baggy jeans with a rip in one knee and a baseball cap. A camera attached to a strap dangles from his right shoulder and Juliana reflexively looks down at the lanyard around his neck, displaying his press credentials.

“Valentina will be here in second. They’re finishing off her makeup,” he tells her, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “I know you’re on a tight shooting schedule today, so we’ll start with the two of you.” He offers her another smile before heading off into the studio, readjusting his cap on his head. 

Juliana watches him leave before she pulls out her phone, checking her reflection on the screen. Her makeup is on point in a way she never could have achieved herself. Her eyes especially stand out with the thick, black eyeliner that surrounds them. Her long, straight hair, parted in the middle, frames her face, and she has to admit that she looks good. 

Approaching footsteps pull her attention, and when she looks up, her eyes almost bug out of her own head. Valentina is walking towards her, legs for days peeking out of a beautiful white dress. She walks with a steady purpose down the hall, typing out on her phone, totally unaware of Juliana’s gaping. Her hair is loose and wavy, fluttering around her shoulders, and she looks so pretty that it leaves Juliana slightly thunderstruck. 

When Valentina looks up, she spots Juliana and a bright smile spreads across her face. Juliana feels her own lips mirror the expression and she can’t stop her eyes from dragging all the way down, taking in those long legs and back up to Valentina’s grinning face. She blushes, completely caught in her staring. 

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Sofia,” Valentina whispers, her eyes tracing Juliana’s features slowly, openly. She stops within arm’s reach and Juliana lets out a raspy laugh, drawing a gorgeous wide grin from Valentina that turns into a laugh of her own. A warm feeling swirls around them so swiftly Juliana inhales deeply against it.

“Likewise, Valeria.” She can’t help but smile as she says it, and the urge to touch, even just to brush her fingertips along Valentina’s forearm, is so achingly intense.

They’re interrupted by Lucho’s arrival, who greets them, an intense focus on Valentina. Valentina is still looking at Juliana though and she doesn’t seem to notice the attention. A cloud of heady perfume envelops them and Juliana wrinkles her nose in distaste, glancing away.

“Hey, Vale,” he smiles, and Valentina stiffens when he briefly touches her shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here early today. That gives us enough time to go over our lines before the shooting starts.”

Juliana can almost feel how much effort it takes Valentina not to roll her eyes at Lucho. Juliana does it for her tenfold, earning a small, amused smile from the actress, and it takes Valentina a second to smooth out her features. She takes a deep breath, releases it calmly, and turns to the actor. 

“That won’t be necessary.” 

Lucho frowns, clearly not expecting Valentina’s reaction. “What do you mean, not necessary?”

Juliana watches Valentina’s jaw work, the muscles clenching and unclenching. It looks like she wants to heave an enormous sigh, but squares up her shoulders instead. 

“I don’t have time for that, Lucho,” she says, he eyes drifting back to Juliana. “We’re already late for our photoshoot. Right, Juls?” 

Valentina tilts her head to the side with a warm look and Juliana nods in affirmation, her eyes darting between Lucho and Valentina. “Right.” 

Lucho reaches up and runs a hand through his hair, gripping it in frustration. He watches Valentina for a moment more before turning his attention to Juliana, his eyes sparking with barely hidden irritation. 

“Why are you—“ he starts, but before he can say anything else, Valentina speaks again. “Come, Juls, we should go,” she says, ignoring Lucho’s glare and holding out her hand. 

Juliana takes it without question, letting herself be led into the studio, and she feels his eyes on them until they’re out of sight. It causes an odd thrill to run through her whole frame; the way Valentina lets her hover close, their shoulders brushing just enough, just past the boundary of professional. It makes her feel alive.

“There you are!” Rafael greets them, standing beside an old, black Cadillac. The car is parked in the middle of the studio in front of a large green screen, bathed in artificial sunlight. His face brightens as his gaze darts between the two of them, motioning for them to come over, and Valentina squeezes her hand once before letting go. 

“So here’s how we’re gonna do it,” he says, watching them approach. “Valentina, I want you to sit on the hood.”

Valentina nods and calmly walks to the front of the car, pushing herself up on the shiny black hood. She combs her hands through her long hair and looks almost regal in her elegant dress, her back straight and a confident air about her. It’s the kind of confidence Juliana is not sure she could ever hope to possess. And maybe that’s the reason Juliana feels… tingly whenever Valentina looks at her. Her eyes are so intense that it would probably unhinge anybody. 

“Perfect,” Rafael exclaims, turning his attention to Juliana. “Now, Juliana, I want you to stand in front of her.”

Juliana’s heart rate picks up a notch and she wipes her palms on her thighs, smooths a hand through her hair and takes a few deep breaths in a last-ditch attempt to calm herself. She forces her feet to move, feeling Valentina’s eyes follow her every move. She stops right in front of the actress, smiling up at her shyly. And for a moment, she isn’t sure what to do, so she shifts her weight between her feet, her eyes darting around the studio. 

Rafael glances between them and lets out a short, amused laugh. “A little closer, please,” he says with a hint of tease, waving his hand in front of him. “You’re supposed to be in love, remember? I need the audience to feel that spark between the two of you.”

Valentina laughs, an attractive blush dusting her cheeks. She captures Juliana’s eyes with her own and scoots a little closer, biting her bottom lip. Juliana takes a small step forward but still not close enough to touch, her nerves causing her body to tremble slightly.

“Oh, come on, don’t be shy,” Rafael laughs, trying to make them feel at ease. “Make the passion believable.”

Valentina studies her face for a moment before she shifts a little, slowly spreading her legs on the hood. The hem of her dress rides a little farther up her thighs and Juliana can’t stop her eyes from drifting down to take in the newly exposed skin, her hands twitching with some kind of strange energy. 

Valentina’s blue eyes stay steady on her, watching for any sign of hesitation, before she reaches out to slide her hands onto Juliana’s hips, gently tugging her closer to stand between her legs. Juliana’s breath catches in her throat at their proximity, at the intensity in Valentina’s gaze, and the sudden overload of her senses overwhelms Juliana for a minute. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing, her hands hovering awkwardly in the air.

“It’s okay,” Valentina whispers, smiling up at her softly. “It’s just me.”

Juliana chokes out a nervous, breathy laugh. Oh, yeah, only one of the most well-known actresses in the country. That makes it easy. And the fact that Valentina’s staring up at her like she’s someone special - the way she constantly makes Juliana feel like she’s the center of all her attention - makes it ever harder. She tries to brush it aside, along with all the other feelings being stirred up just by being this close to Valentina. No overthinking, not now. The touch of Valentina’s hand on her waist draws her attention back. 

”Juls?”

Juliana’s head snaps up to find Valentina’s gaze trained on her, and for a second the world seems to stop. It’s the way the light catches Valentina’s hair, her perfect porcelain skin glowing. But most of all it’s the striking blue of her eyes, bright and gorgeous. Then, with a small shake of her head, Valentina whispers, “Are you okay?”

Juliana blinks. “Hmm?” 

“You look a little freaked out,” Valentina clarifies, studying Juliana’s face carefully. “Are you okay?” 

Juliana nods and drops her gaze from Valentina’s, the sustained eye contact feeling way too intimate. She has the sudden urge to dart away into the shadows so that the artificial light can’t shine on her undoubtedly red face. 

“Juls.” Valentina’s voice draws her eyes back up, the way she says it pleading with Juliana to look at her. “Just relax, okay? We can do this.” 

Juliana stares into her wide, blue eyes, completely open, asking for her trust. Juliana nods. Even if she doesn’t quite feel it, she can choose to believe in Valentina, and Valentina believes in her. Long, slender fingers wrap around her own and Valentina squeezes her hand, letting Juliana feel the reassuring strength in her grip.

“We have fifteen minutes to nail this shoot, ladies,” Rafael tells them, “Let’s do this!”

Valentina squeezes her hand once more before she moves on to business, ignoring any awkwardness. She shifts even closer, slipping her arms around Juliana’s waist, barely leaving any room between them. And before she’s even conscious of the impulse, Juliana slowly reaches out to touch Valentina’s jaw, the leather of her jacket creaking with the movement. She sweeps her thumb along the other girl’s cheek and Valentina smiles up at her, leaning subtly into the touch. 

“Yes, that’s it!” Rafael exclaims, moving a little closer and clicking off several shots. “Hold that pose!”

Valentina remains close, a cloud of perfume and shampoo invading Juliana’s senses, and she clenches her jaw to resist the nearly irresistible urge to press in even closer to the heat the actress is giving off. Blue eyes stay focused on her, as if making sure she’s okay, and Juliana nods her head almost imperceptibly. Valentina’s lips curl in response and she presses her cheek into Juliana’s palm, her hands gently tracing the curves of Juliana’s waist and hips through her clothing. 

They don’t take their eyes off each other, and Juliana suppresses a shiver at the feel of Valentina’s hands slipping under her jacket, slender fingers smoothing up the length of her spine. And then Valentina squeezes around her in a soft hug, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, long legs hooking around her own. Juliana’s arms instinctively wrap around the actress, drawing her even more closely to her. 

She releases the breath she’s been holding and allows her body to relax against Valentina, letting herself sink into the moment and enjoy it. She leans her cheek against Valentina’s head, reaching up to tangle her fingers into long, silky hair. Valentina hums softly and Juliana can feel the other girl’s lips stretch into a smile against the skin of her neck. A line of goosebumps erupts down her spine and she has to close her eyes against the sensation.

She faintly hears the rapid clicking of the camera, her surroundings slowly fading away, until it feels like it’s just the two of them. Just being this close to Valentina is making her body feel more awake than it has in what feels like forever.

“Yes, girls, that’s really good!” Rafael calls out, circling around them to capture the best shot.

Valentina’s hands shake just the smallest amount as she slides her long fingers into the back pockets of Juliana’s jeans, pulling her even closer. They press chest-to-chest and Juliana’s heart pounds in her throat, her pulse roars in her ears. 

She lets out a shaky sigh when Valentina’s lips carefully map out her jaw and slide down to her neck with those same slow, shy strokes, and she unconsciously tightens her grip on Valentina’s hair, encouraging her to continue. 

“Can you toss your head back, Juliana?” Rafael’s voice cuts through her haze, and she slowly tilts her head back, her long raven hair falling down her back, eyes lidded and lips parted. 

Valentina’s soft lips continue to make their way down her throat and across her collar bones, causing another set of goosebumps to erupt over her sensitive skin. Then Valentina pauses and looks up at her through hooded eyes and Juliana can’t breathe. Valentina stares at her in a way she can’t really describe and Juliana can’t decide whether to avoid the intensity of that stare or drown in it. The moment feels far too significant, far too real. 

“Can you remove your jacket, Juliana?” Rafael breaks them out of their trance and Juliana has to blink a few times, reminding herself where she is, why they’re here. 

“Yeah, sure,” she manages to breathe out, shrugging out of her jacket. 

Valentina leans back to give her some space, and Juliana’s conscious of the blue eyes following her movements as she carefully drops the jacket beside the car. She settles back between Valentina’s legs and swallows, trying not to let her nerves get the better of her.

“Wait..” Valentina whispers, reaching up to adjust the narrow strap of Juliana’s tank top. Her hand lingers for just a moment, causing a current to run down Juliana’s spine, dancing across her skin. A faint blush dusts Valentina’s cheeks as she whispers, “Perfect.” 

Juliana doesn’t have a response. Can’t even start to think of one, not with Valentina so close. Not in her space again, right there and looking at her like that. Her perfume – something sweet and floral – clouds Juliana’s senses. She finds herself swaying forward to pull more of it into her lungs.

“Valentina,” Rafael calls out, breaking their spell once more. “Show the audience how much you care for her and want to be with her.”

Valentina releases a breathy chuckle and her blue eyes drift back to Juliana’s, biting her lip. They share an intense look, the air around them moving with different frequency, before long fingers come up to Juliana’s temple to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. 

They stare into each other’s eyes for a long time, posing for the camera, their hands carefully exploring each other. And Juliana doesn’t mean to lean in, but she just can’t seem to help herself. Their forehead meet in the middle and Juliana loses herself in it, giving herself over to whatever is happening. Valentina angles her face a little, nudging their noses together.

“Yes, that’s it!” Rafael exclaims, and keeps snapping shots. 

Juliana’s eyes drop to Valentina’s mouth, pink and soft and so inescapably there. All she would have to do is tip her head forward and their lips would connect. It takes a concerted effort to force her eyes back up, to refrain from slipping her hand behind Valentina’s neck and drawing her that last remaining inch nearer. The thought is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

“Hold that shot, girls! Keep the smolder.” 

Valentina offers her a slight smile, cups Juliana’s cheek with one hand and swipes her thumb across Juliana’s bottom lip. The gentleness of it makes something unfurl in her chest, the feeling growing tenfold when Valentina darts forward to press a soft kiss on her cheek, millimeters away from the corner of her mouth. She lingers there, giving Rafael time to capture the perfect shot, the shitter of the camera clicking away furiously. 

Juliana sucks in a shaky breath, conscious of the increasing rise and fall of her chest. It’s like she’s barely controlling her actions, her hands moving of their own accord, roaming down Valentina’s sides, curving over hipbones, stroking the backs of her thighs. She’s so warm, skin feverishly hot against Juliana’s palm. They’re still sharing air, heavy and latent with something unknown. Valentina’s face is everything; the way she looks at her, the way she looks at her when she touches her cheek. 

“Time’s up, girls,” Rafael’s voice cuts through the room, making them both flinch. The spell gets broken and Juliana takes a step backward, sucking in air as fast as she can. She doesn’t know whether it’s crushing disappointment or blessed relief she feels when Valentina’s hands slip away from her.


	12. Part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update today, but the next chapter will be a lot longer. Enjoy and thanks again for all your support :)

“That was so good!” Rafael exclaims, looking between them with an almost stunned smile. “You certainly know how to sell a story.. There’s some insane chemistry going on between you two.”

Juliana’s eyes drift to Valentina, who shares her bashful smile, and then back to Rafael. She can still feel the tension shimmering in the air between them and Juliana hopes her nervous laugh merely comes off as a piece of intelligent acting. The twinkle in Valentina’s eyes doesn’t go unnoticed though. 

Rafael shakes his head and glances down at the digital screen of his camera. “I mean, just look at this picture,” he says, turning the camera toward them, and there’s a distinct note of awe in his voice. “This one looks so real to me. I can literally feel the energy between you two.”

Juliana takes a step closer and stares at the image on the screen, feeling her breath catch in her throat. It’s a close-up shot of their faces close together, their eyes locked in an intense gaze. She almost doesn’t recognize herself - the dreamy look in her eyes, her skin slightly flushed – and it’s odd to see such an expression on her own face. 

Rafael’s right, it looks so staggeringly believable and real that she gets drawn into the picture. She can practically feel the energy emanating from it, and a sense of pride wells up inside her. Despite her initial nerves, she actually pulled it off. 

But the truth is, Juliana didn’t even have to try, at all. It came to her so naturally, so easily, and she knows it has everything to do with Valentina’s presence, and the ever-present tension that surrounds them whenever they are near each other. 

She leans a little closer to the camera, her eyes scanning all the details. Valentina’s lips are slightly parted and her blue eyes are so startlingly intense and focused on her own as if mesmerized. An involuntary shudder courses through her body, and Juliana has to remind herself that it’s just an illusion - a perfect, sensual illusion - regardless of how real it actually appears on screen. 

It’s all just an act. It’s what they do for a living. 

And Valentina is startlingly, confusingly good at her job. Besides, someone like Valentina would never actually fall for someone like her. She’s straight and she’s in a relationship. With a man. And Juliana is a woman. And so is Valentina. 

She groans inwardly, silently admonishing herself. Sometimes, she wishes she could turn her mind off. Just for a second. It’s not like her to overanalyze and overthink things. Then again, it’s not like her to feel attracted to a girl, so. Juliana closes her eyes for a moment before blinking them back into focus, staring down at the camera. 

The next one is a very intimate picture of them tangled together, Valentina’s hands buried in the back pockets of her jeans, her mouth attached to the skin of her neck. Juliana’s cheeks heat up in response, still feeling Valentina’s body imprinted against her own. 

“Wow,” Valentina breathes out beside her, blinking. “We look good.. Like really, really good.”

Juliana shifts her weight between her feet - her shoulder brushing unintentionally against Valentina’s - and she’s not sure if it’s her imagination, but for a second she thinks she hears the hitch in Valentina’s breath. Blue eyes snap up to hers, wide and bright, and Juliana can feel the actress lean subtly into the touch, so subtly that no one can see how she pushes back with the most minute pressure. 

Rafael hums in agreement and slowly pulls back his camera, looking up at them with a grin. “I’ll edit them and send you a link in a few days, okay?”

Valentina takes a step away from Juliana and offers him a small, genuine smile. “Okay, great. Thanks. You are an amazing photographer,” she compliments him, causing another wide smile to break across his face. “It was great working with you.”

Juliana curiously watches their interaction, and she’s once again stunned by Valentina’s warm friendliness, even after achieving the kind of stardom she has today. She understands why the public loves her so much, why Valentina is so highly respected in the industry. 

She’s so down to earth, so charming, so genuine, and so, so beautiful. 

Despite her extraordinary success, she hasn’t set herself apart from the public who’s helped make her who she is, and that public responds by identifying with her, liking her, loving her. To them, she’s just the girl down the street who got really, really lucky, but who remembers your name and says hello when you run into her. 

Rafael’s voice startles her out of her thoughts, and Juliana quickly reaches out to shake his offered hand. They say their goodbyes and walk towards the canteen when Valentina gently grabs her elbow, forcing Juliana to face her. 

Blue eyes stare steadily into her own for a long moment before Valentina whispers, “You did an amazing job, Juls.”

Juliana breathes out a laugh, brushing a hand through her hair. “So did you. That was..“ Incredible. Confusing. Terrifying. Hot. She doesn’t quite know which word to pick. 

She can still feel the heat of Valentina’s body against her own, the tingling sensation of Valentina’s lips against the skin of her neck, tender and reverent. A little spark crackles through her body, sharp and confusing, and she finally settles on, “You made it look very convincing.” 

Something about her voice must sound off, because a slight frown settles over Valentina’s features, her slender hands curling together almost awkwardly. “Look, I’m sorry if what happened back there made you uncomfortable.”

Juliana blinks up at her, shaking her head once. “No, not uncomfortable—“

“You don’t need to explain,” Valentina says quickly, and gives a nonchalant little shrug that’s entirely at odds with the way she worries at her lower lip. And then there’s that slight blush creeping into her cheeks again, the sight Juliana’s not quite used to, still.

She doesn’t even realize what she’s doing until after she already has Valentina’s hand in hers. It just feels natural. The moment called for it, she decides. “Yes, I do,” she whispers. 

Their fingers tangle together in the space between them and it seems like they both look down at where they’re touching together.

“I’m not uncomfortable. At least not the way you think. I mean..” she trails off, letting out a heavy breath to calm herself down, but her heart is practically in her throat when she speaks up again. “I just didn’t have a single clue what I was doing. I guess I was scared you’d be disappointed.”

Valentina stills, her brows knitting together. “Disappointed?” She shakes her head, her beautiful mouth opening and closing a few times before she whispers, “How could you—“ 

Valentina closes her eyes briefly before meeting Juliana’s gaze with her own again, eyes careful but soft. She cautiously steps closer, reaching out to tug a strand of hair behind Juliana’s ear. “Juls.. You could never disappoint me.” 

Valentina brings their still clasped hands to her lips and kisses the back of Juliana’s knuckles gently. She looks up at her then, her eyes filled with something that Juliana can’t, or won’t, name. 

“Never,” Valentina whispers again. Her blue eyes are darker, more intense, than Juliana’s ever seen them, and she struggles to remember how to breathe. 

For a second she lets that sink in, holding Valentina’s gaze, before she pulls her hand away slowly. It’s an absurd reaction. They’ve touched so many times at this point, but everything feels just way too overwhelming right now. She takes a step back and reaches up awkwardly to smooth the crease on her brow with her finger. 

“That’s- That’s because you helped me before I had a chance to make a fool of myself,” she stutters, drawing a deep, shaky breath. 

Valentina chews on her bottom lip, blue eyes studying her carefully. She remains silent for a moment, as if choosing her words carefully. 

“Juls,” she finally lets out softly, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t have made a fool of yourself. You seriously underestimate yourself, you know?”

Juliana gives Valentina a quick, shy smile before glancing down. Her face feels hot, and she knows that if she were to look in a mirror, she’d find light pink coating her cheeks.

“Do you really not know how talented you are?” Valentina whispers, and Juliana forces herself to lift her gaze, only to stumble into Valentina’s softly inquiring one. “How beautiful you are?”

She blinks when Valentina’s words register in her brain and lets out a short, breathless laugh. “Stop it, Val,” she chokes out, unable to keep her gaze. Not when Valentina’s looking at her like that, with her eyes vibrant blue and too tender for someone who’s only known her for a week. 

“No, I won’t stop,” Valentina tells her, leaning down to catch her eyes again. Her words drip with something. Something Juliana tries to ignore. “You’ll believe me one day, Juls. You’ll believe me, and you’ll feel like the most talented, most beautiful woman that ever lived.”

Juliana opens her mouth, ready to protest but then simply laughs, shaking her head. What is she supposed to say to that? Why is Valentina so invested in boosting her self-esteem? And what is she supposed to do with all the confusing feelings currently twisting around inside of her?

“I’m not going to stop until I’ve convinced you of that,” Valentina continues and winks at her, effectively breaking some of the tension. 

Juliana can’t help but laugh in response, trying to tamp down the warm, fluttering sensation in her stomach. Valentina Carvajal giving her a goofy wink. Never in a million years she would’ve thought she’d end up here.

“Well, good luck with that,” she chuckles, looking up at the actress through her lashes. Valentina smiles back at her, a wide, unfairly beautiful smile, her dimples revealing themselves in all their glory. 

“I can be very persuasive when I want to,” she replies, leaning in closer while she talks, and there’s definitely flirting in her tone. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, eyes once more darting between Juliana’s.

“Oh?” Juliana plays along, failing to hide a huge amused smile. And she thinks she really, really shouldn’t feel this thrill that shoots through her system, but she can’t help it. Because this is Valentina Carvajal flirting with her. It’s surreal and confusing, but it’s also the most exciting thing she’s ever felt and done. 

Valentina laughs and her eyes twinkle with adoring amusement, and Juliana thinks she must be doing something right. Flirting with girls is a lot like flirting with guys, she discovers. It comes excitingly, terrifyingly, easy. And suddenly the moment is charged. She doesn’t shy away from Valentina’s gaze, and her breath catches in her throat as blue eyes flit to her lips and stay there for what feels like an eternity. 

But the next moment Valentina clears her throat and takes a step away from her, brushing a hand though her hair. Juliana’s body gives a small involuntary jerk forward, as if there’s some invisible string tying them together, and a shaky sigh slips past her lips. 

She’s not sure how long they stand there, eyes meeting and darting away, when Valentina finally speaks up again. “I should go,” she whispers, an almost shy smile on her lips. “I wouldn’t want to mess up the shooting schedule, right?”

Juliana gives her a single nod and a small smile. “Right.”

“But before I go..” Valentina continues, pulling out her phone and sliding her thumb across the screen to unlock it. “Let’s take a selfie.” 

It isn’t at all what she expected to hear, and Juliana blinks in surprise. “Oh. Yeah, um.. Okay,” she stammers, flashing Valentina a quick, shy smile. 

Valentina mirrors her smile – with the addition of her heart-melting dimples – before she glances down at her phone. “What are we gonna call them?” 

Juliana frowns in confusion. “Who?”

“Us,” Valentina clarifies with a chuckle, waving her hand between them. “Sofia and Valeria. What do you think sounds better? Valia? Soleria?”

Juliana snorts. “Are we really going to name them?”

Valentina gives her a faux-shocked look, complete with a hand to her heart, but her eyes are sparkling with laughter. “Of course!”

Juliana throws back her head and laughs, and Valentina fixes her with a half-defiant, half-amused glance. “Well, since you’re obviously not taking this seriously, I guess it’s up to me.” Valentina taps her chin with her index finger, pretending to be deep in thought. “Well, then, I choose… Soleria.”

Juliana shakes her head and chuckles, allowing Valentina’s arm to drape around her shoulders. 

“I think it sounds pretty,” Valentina whispers, pulling Juliana closer against her side. And Juliana doesn’t mean to reach for that dangling hand, fingers sliding over the delicate bones of her wrist and squeezing, but she just can’t seem help herself.

Valentina stretches her arm with her phone out and Juliana turns to face her, finding blue eyes taking her in. “Ready?” Valentina whispers, and Juliana nods, plastering on a smile. 

She’s acutely aware of Valentina’s closeness – of each and every place where Valentina’s body is touching hers - and the earlier tension returns tenfold, making her slightly light-headed. And when Valentina snaps the picture, Juliana doesn’t anticipate the soft lips pressing against her cheek, causing her to smile dopily into the camera. 

Valentina nuzzles her cheek once more before she pulls back with a grin, typing away on her phone. Juliana remains rooted to the spot, her fingers coming up to touch her cheek, and it takes her a moment to regain her composure and power of speech.

“Wait,” she chokes out, clearing her throat and speaking a little louder. “Let me see it first.”

Valentina flashes her a grin and holds out her phone to show the picture, and if she wasn’t so stunned by the girl beside her, Juliana would laugh at the ridiculous expression on her own face.

“You can’t post this, Val,” she blurts out, gesturing toward Valentina’s phone. “God, I look ridiculous.”

Valentina lets out a soft laugh and Juliana nearly rolls her eyes at herself for the way she practically swoons over her laughter. 

“Ridiculously cute, yeah,” Valentina counters, glancing down at the picture before looking back up at Juliana, her blue eyes soft and almost pleading. “Please, just let me post it?” 

Juliana rolls her eyes and heaves a sigh, finding herself unable to deny the actress anything at the moment. She leans forward for a closer look at the picture, an unbidden smile curling her lips. She notices, with inward satisfaction, that the thin layer of foundation manages to conceal her blushing cheeks a little. 

“Okay, sure. Whatever,” she finally concedes, and the blinding smile she gets in return is so, so worth it. 

“Miss Carvajal?” A young, flustered-looking man approaches them, breaking their stare. “I’m sorry – you’re needed in the studio.”

Valentina blinks and turns her head to look at him, straightening her shoulders. “Of course. Just give me a second, okay?”

He nods, almost respectfully, and steps back to give them some space. Valentina waits until he averts his gaze before she captures Juliana’s eyes again, leaning a little closer. “Will you wait for me?” she asks, her voice just loud enough to carry between them.

Juliana finds herself nodding and Valentina’s face lights up with delight, as though Juliana has given her the world’s greatest gift. God, she’s beautiful when she’s happy. She’s beautiful, period. 

“Which scene are you shooting?” she blurts out, not ready to let her go just yet, and Valentina’s face falls in response. 

Oh.. Oh. 

“Oh, right..” Juliana clears her throat, and there’s a small, sheepish smile hiding in the corner of her lips. “That scene.”

“Yeah, lucky me,” Valentina responds, crinkling her nose almost imperceptibly. 

“Lucky you...” Juliana quips, a teasing smirk curving her lips. Valentina shoots her a faux glare, and Juliana can’t help but chuckle. “Go, kiss Lucho.”

“Gross..” Valentina groans, and Juliana laughs at her blunt response. 

Valentina holds her gaze in silence for a few more moments before reaching out to grab her hand. “See you later, Juls.” 

She squeezes her hand once before letting go and following the guy down the hallway, subtly looking back over her shoulder and throwing her a wide, stunning smile.

* * *

Juliana silently opens the door and steps inside the studio, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. She balances her coffee mug in one hand and her script in the other. She casts a quick glance around the set, a flurry of activity all around her, and makes her way to the small sitting area in the corner of the studio. 

She spots Valentina right away, drawn to her by some inner radar. She’s standing a very realistic-looking living room - except for its missing ceiling - talking animatedly with one of the crewmembers. She hasn’t seen her yet, and Juliana takes advantage of the opportunity to appreciate her stunning appearance. 

She carefully sits down in one of the chairs, and takes another sip of coffee when one of the crewmembers hands her a pair of headphones. 

“They’re about to start,” he tells her with a smile, checking his watch. 

“Oh, great. Thank you,” she replies, taking the expensive-looking cordless headphones. He offers her another smile before he sits down a few seats away from her, tapping away at his tablet. 

“Action!” Alejandro’s voice booms through the studio, almost making her spill her coffee. She hastily puts on her headphones and focuses her eyes on the scene in front of her. 

“I feel like you’re pulling away from me,” Lucho’s voice floats through the speakers, making her cringe a little. “And I can’t lose you, Vale.. I just can’t.”

“You won’t lose me,” Valentina replies softly, brushing a hand through her hair. 

It’s the first time, Juliana realizes suddenly. It’s the first time she actually sees Valentina in action in front of the camera, and the sight takes her damn breath away. It’s beautiful.

Valentina is beautiful.

She doesn’t exactly transform – somehow she seems to stay relatively true to herself – but she does change. She stands a little taller, becomes a little distant. Which is understandable, of course – the scene asks for it. 

“We can still remain friends,” Valentina’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts, and she watches Lucho take a step closer to her.

Juliana’s smile fades into a frown, then a scowl, when he reaches up to touch Valentina’s cheek. It’s not real. She tells that to herself over and over, willing herself to tear her eyes away from them and seemingly unable to. 

“I don’t want to be friends,” Lucho counters, his voice cracking, before he surges forward and presses his lips to Valentina’s. 

Juliana sucks in a breath, and this tight, suffocating burning in her chest might not be her right, but it’s there anyway. She knew what was coming, but it still catches her off-guard. She continues to watch the scene, unable to look away. 

“And.. cut!” Alejandro calls out, and Valentina immediately takes a step away from Lucho.

Juliana isn’t entirely sure how the mug in her hand stays intact; she grips it so hard she definitely expects shards to fly everywhere. It’s at that exact moment that Valentina’s eyes find hers across the studio. Her face softens for a second, for a blink, before her mask is pulled back down and she’s distracted by Lucho again. 

And suddenly, it’s all too much. The day, the shoot, Valentina, Lucho, the kiss. She pulls off the headphones and makes her way out of the studio. She rushes into the nearest bathroom and splashes some cold water on her cheeks, evenly breathes in and out, or at least tries to as she looks at herself in the mirror, hands grasping the cold countertop.

She doesn’t want to acknowledge her feelings, she doesn’t want to feel like this. Because it’s that thing she’s not supposed to want – that thing she can’t want, not if she’s going to do her job properly. It’s silly and inappropriate and, not to mention impossible.


	13. Part 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another chapter! I’m so, so grateful for all your comments and kudos. Please let me know your thoughts. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

It’s three weeks later and the first four episodes have been shot and edited, and will be released on Netflix within a few weeks. Juliana has shot most of her scenes with Valentina and Alejandra, her mother. Nothing major has happened yet, just a series of encounters to cement Valeria and Sofia’s growing emotional connection before exploring the physical one. 

Juliana’s Instagram numbers are piling up, and she’s still stunned to realize that she’s made it close to 400k followers. Ever since Valentina posted the picture of the two of them together, she’d gained thousands and thousands of followers, her posts receiving more ‘likes’ than ever. 

She still remembers checking Valentina’s timeline three weeks ago, unable to contain the ear-to-ear grin on her face. She’d watched their picture a full three times before she managed to make it past the visuals and glance at the caption underneath. 

Nailed our first photoshoot. With my partner in crime @julianavaldes21 #Soleria #Amor #ComingSoonOnNetflix

Needless to say, quite a lot has changed since then. But one thing hasn’t. Valentina. Or rather, her ever-growing and endlessly confusing feelings for Valentina. Something is breaking and Juliana knows it’s the promise she once made herself: never get involved with a co-star. 

But falling for Valentina feels like it’s as inevitable as the sun rising or the stars shining, because somehow, somewhere down the road, she developed impossible feelings for this woman so far out of her league she’d have to climb a staircase just to touch her feet. 

But that’s just the thing: lately, nothing seems impossible or out of reach. She never in a million years would have dreamed that she’d land a leading role on a Netflix show, earning more money than she’d made in her entire life. But most of all, she’d never expected to look at another girl in a sexual way; she never even once considered the possibility. 

But all those things happened to her anyway, and it’s like discovering a whole new world of unending possibilities and so many new impressions and feelings. It’s terrifying, but at the same time, it makes her feel more alive than ever before. And she doesn’t want to lose that feeling. She’s ready, albeit tentatively, to explore new possibilities in her life, including her feelings for Valentina. 

Juliana knows she’s growing more and more attached to the actress with each passing day, and a little distance would probably do her some good. But it’s Valentina. And when it comes to Valentina – lately, she’s been losing the ability to think clearly. And that’s why she finds herself in front of Valentina’s apartment building. 

Again. 

She takes a deep breath and slowly walks past the concierge, into the elevator. And a few moments later, she’s standing in a long hallway, trying to get her breathing under control. She nervously wipes her hands down her jeans and walks up to the familiar door, her hand poised to tap discreetly. She almost has second thoughts, body turning away, brain starting to babble that she shouldn’t be here, but she taps before she can talk herself out of it.

After a few seconds, she hears the faint sound of approaching footsteps before the door opens just a crack to reveal Valentina’s face, one eye peeking through. It widens almost comically as she sees Juliana standing there. 

“Hi,” Juliana smiles sheepishly, shifting her weight between her feet.

“Hi!” Valentina looks pleasantly surprised and opens the door wider, revealing herself. Juliana can’t stop her eyes from wandering down and then up again over Valentina’s slim figure, clearing her throat. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for showing up like this.” She flashes Valentina an uncertain half smile and fidgets with the purse strap on her shoulder, lowering her eyes. “I should have texted.”

“No!” Valentina’s quick to reassure her, stepping closer, her hand hovering over Juliana’s elbow. “No.. are you okay?” 

The movement causes Juliana to glance up again, catching Valentina’s slightly worried eyes. She chuckles, mostly to hide the sudden embarrassment rushing through her. 

“Yeah, I just.. I just finished reading the script, and I thought we could..” she cuts herself off, shaking her head. She knows what she wants to suggest but isn’t sure how to phrase it so it doesn’t come across as weird.

Valentina’s face relaxes and her lips hint at a smile. “Okay, do you want to come in?”

“Honestly, I don’t want to disturb you.. I should have--”

“Juls,” Valentina interrupts, reaching out to take her hand. “Don’t be silly, you’re not disturbing me at all.” Her eyes are warm, and so, so blue. “You know I love to have you here.” 

Juliana glances down at their hands then back at Valentina’s face, her lips curling up shyly. “Are you sure?”

“Always,” Valentina whispers softly, genuinely. She squeezes her hand once before stepping aside to let Juliana in, closing the door behind her with a soft click. 

A slightly awkward silence settles around them as they stand in the dimly lit hallway. Valentina’s looking at her and clearly trying to hold herself back from leaning in. Same as Juliana. She sincerely doubts they’ll ever be able to keep their hands off of each other. It’s a near-physical need to be always touching. 

Juliana closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head with a chuckle. And, of course, Valentina notices. “What?” When Juliana opens her eyes, but doesn’t reply, Valentina asks again, her smile growing bigger. “What?”

“I thought--” Juliana cuts herself off with a sigh, running a hand through her hair. Valentina cocks her head to the side as she studies her for a silent second, and her eyes are crinkling with a curious smile. “You thought what?” 

Something sparkles in those stunning blue eyes that makes it impossible for Juliana to keep a straight face any longer. Or, perhaps, it’s the sheer absurdity of the situation. Either way, she can feel a smile forming, and there’s an answering one on Valentina’s face, too, despite her biting her lips to keep it from spreading.

“That we were past this awkwardness,” she clarifies, and Valentina’s bashful smile stirs a pleasant wave in her lower belly. Her body leans into Valentina’s of its own accord, resting her head on her shoulder and smiling when she feels Valentina’s arms slowly entwine her waist. 

“Hey,” she whispers, brushing her nose against Valentina’s neck. She smells incredible, just like always. Juliana doesn’t question it, doesn’t try to make herself hate it anymore. Instead, she embraces it. There is no point in denying her attraction to the actress any longer. She had never been able to accomplish the task anyway. 

“Hi,” Valentina breathes into her hair, and her fingers dig into Juliana’s lower back for a fraction of a second. She thinks she can hear Valentina’s breath catch in her throat, but then, she’s pressing a chaste kiss to the side of her head and steps back, smiling.

* * *

“So,” Valentina says once they settle down on the couch, facing each other. Juliana watches as she folds one leg and smoothly sits, her body long and graceful. The deep blue of her shirt intensifies the color of her eyes, and Juliana feels captured by her. “What did you think of the script?”

“Well,” she starts, breathing out a laugh. “It’s definitely a big step forward.” 

Valentina hums in agreement and mirrors her smile, leaning back against the couch. “So... it’s finally happening,” she says, blue eyes studying her carefully. Juliana nods, and she hates how warm her cheeks feel again. She doesn’t blush easily, and yet, around Valentina… 

She knows they’re merely playing a part, but the prospect of kissing Valentina makes her feel unbearably shy. It makes her feel things she’s not supposed to feel, but she can at least try and pretend to feel otherwise. Acting is, after all, what she does best. 

“We can talk through the scene, if you want?” Valentina offers quietly, still searching her face. 

Juliana blinks, not entirely sure how to interpret her words. She can barely let herself hope that Valentina is saying what she thinks the actress is saying. Her heart feels like it can’t quite find its rhythm all of a sudden, every beat feels out of place, and it makes it even harder to breathe. 

“Do you want to practice-- I mean, now?” she stutters, immediately berating herself. 

Valentina blinks up at her when the implication of Juliana’s words sets in, her eyes growing wide and curious as they shift down from her eyes to her lips and back up. Her throat bobs prettily as she swallows, and Juliana miserably fails at trying not to stare. 

“You want to actually… practice..” Valentina pauses, her eyes darting between Juliana’s, and she sees a spark of curiosity mixed with surprise. “The entire scene?” 

Juliana’s mouth drops open as she stares at Valentina, a nervous flutter running through her. She feels like bursting with hysterical laughter, because even she hears the double meaning in those words. Yes, that’s exactly what she meant, but she hadn’t really meant to say it out loud. 

Blue eyes stay trained on hers as full lips form a small, surprised smile. “Okay,” Valentina whispers, running a hand through her hair. “I mean, that wasn’t-- That wasn’t exactly what I was aiming at, but sure.. I guess we can do… that.” Her cheeks tinge a pretty shade of pink and blue eyes dart away from Juliana’s, almost nervously.

Juliana watches her for a moment before her eyes widen with the dawning realization, her stomach lurching uncomfortably. “Oh, god, I’m sorry,” she breathes out, mortified. “You meant like literally.. talking through the scene. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed--” 

Valentina’s hand on hers makes her still, prompting her to look up again. “Juls, relax. It’s okay. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to bring it up for days. I just wasn’t sure if that would be something you’d want to do.”

Juliana’s gaze drops to their hands as Valentina’s thumb softly strokes her knuckles. Light. Gentle. She bites her lower lip, fighting a bashful smile that wants to spread across her face.

“I wasn’t sure how you would react to the thought of…” Valentina continues, gesturing vaguely with her hand. “Well, practicing something like that with me. You know, with no cameras and crewmembers around.” 

Juliana takes a small breath, trying to calm down before speaking again. “I guess I’m okay with that,” she manages to say, after a long while of just staring at Valentina’s delicate hand on her own. She quickly glances away and Valentina draws her hand back, but so slowly that it’s almost like a caress. 

“I’m sorry,” Juliana blurts out, running both her hands through her hair. “I’m making this whole thing weird.”

Valentina chuckles, shifting a little on the couch. “It doesn’t have to be,” she whispers, keeping Juliana’s gaze. “Weird, I mean. We’re just acting.”

Something about those words stings Juliana, but maybe she should start believing them again. It would save her a lot of heartache. “Yeah, you’re totally right.” 

They share a bashful smile and, for a moment, Juliana’s afraid Valentina will tell her she was just joking. But then blue eyes are on hers again, burning with something new. “Let’s do this.” 

Despite the wild surge of nervous anticipation coursing through her veins like a shot of adrenaline, Juliana finds herself nodding. It’s the weirdest feeling – simultaneously dreading and longing for the moment to come. She draws in a shaky breath, because this might escalate well beyond her control, but she can’t stop it. Doesn’t want to stop it. 

“Let’s do this,” she echoes quietly, and Valentina’s smile doesn’t fade. If anything, it grows impossibly wider, and Juliana feels her own mouth mimicking it in reaction. 

* * *

Valentina comfortably leans back against the couch, one leg curled under her as she studies the script. “So,” she says, sliding her finger down the lines. “Let’s start with this one.” 

Juliana glances down at Valentina’s script and flips through her own to find the right page. It’s the scene leading up to their kiss, making her heart rate kick up a notch. 

“So, where do you wanna sit?” Valentina asks, her blue eyes glinting with something that looks like genuine excitement. “On the couch? Or on the floor?” 

Juliana shrugs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t care, whatever works for you.”

Valentina shoots her a small, beautiful smile, and shifts to sit on her knees. “Okay, couch it is,” she quips, laying her script aside. Juliana watches her movements before she turns her back toward the actress, curling her legs underneath her.

She feels Valentina scoot closer to her, the couch dipping with her weight. She tenses without meaning to, but instantly relaxes when long, slender fingers weave into the thickness of her hair, her eyes falling closed of their own accord.

“Okay, I have to confess that I’m a little rusty,” Valentina chuckles, combing through Juliana’s long dark locks. “I haven’t braided someone’s hair since.. Like, ever?”

Juliana’s eyes fly open in surprise and she looks over her shoulder at the actress, lifting an eyebrow. “You’ve never braided someone’s hair before?”

Valentina shakes her head with an embarrassed smile, an attractive blush dusting her cheeks. “Not really. No.” 

Juliana chuckles and returns to her earlier position, feeling Valentina’s fingers weave into her hair again. It’s such a trivial piece of information, but she finds it endlessly adorable. It’s just so… human. Not that Valentina is not human, but-- whatever. 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” she smiles, and Valentina’s hands still for a fraction of a second before resuming caressing her locks. 

“I guess there is..” Valentina whispers, and Juliana tries to ignore the double meaning of her words. They’re talking about more than this conversation, now, and they both know it. 

She lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding when Valentina’s fingers continue to comb through her long tresses, pulling her hair back from the crown of her head. She allows her body to relax when Valentina starts to twine the strands of her hair in and out of each other, fingers moving deftly and scraping against her head. 

“So, what’s your secret, Juls?” Valentina speaks up after a moment, and Juliana’s head falls back a little as Valentina works her way down, pulling strands into the complex twist. “My secret?”

Valentina’s light chuckle makes her smile, too. “Yeah, your hair,” Valentina clarifies, brushing a loose strand behind Juliana’s ear. “It’s gorgeous. It’s so soft and shiny… And it smells so good.”

Juliana exhales with a smile, glancing back over her shoulder. “A girl never shares her secrets.” 

Bright blue eyes lock onto hers and Valentina raises one perfectly manicured brow, tilting her head slightly to the side. Next thing she knows, they burst out laughing, simultaneously. They way Valentina closes her eyes as laughter tumbles down from her lips is entirely too mesmerizing, and Juliana finds her own chuckles dying as she drinks the sight in, lip caught between her own teeth. 

“Fair enough..” Valentina whispers, clearing her throat. She shifts a little on the couch and slowly pulls her hands away, clasping them in her lap. “Okay, I’m finished. I think it’s fair to say that I’ve mastered the art of braiding.”

Juliana snorts and reaches up to touch her hair, running her fingers gently over the surface of her braid before throwing Valentina a stunned smile. “Well, I must say I’m impressed.” 

Valentina glances down with a smile, biting her lower lip. “Thank you,” she whispers, seeming genuinely touched by her praise. Before Juliana can comment on it, Valentina looks up again. “Okay, let’s start the scene right after I finish braiding your hair.”

Juliana nods and closes her eyes, focusing herself in character. Truth to be told, this is everything she’s been thinking about lately, but then this is also nothing she’s prepared for, no matter how many times she’d replayed this scenario in her head. 

“You’re ready?” Valentina whispers, placing her hands on Juliana’s shoulders, and it sends a small, involuntary shiver down her spine. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” she manages to say, trying to relax her body. But then Valentina’s skillful hands start to slowly massage her shoulders and neck, and Juliana curses inwardly when she feels her body betray her again, with an aching pull in her lower stomach. 

VALERIA  
Now, does this feel good? 

It takes her a moment to remember that Valentina slipped back into character - uttering the scripted words - and Juliana has to clear her suddenly dry throat. 

SOFIA  
Yeah..

She feels Valentina’s warm presence behind her, that half a second of hesitation before she pushes herself against Juliana’s back, feeling the soft give of Valentina’s breasts against her as she moves even closer. Juliana has to close her eyes, concentrate on her own breathing for a moment because she feels like her heart is going to beat right out of her ribcage, it’s racing way too fast.

Valentina’s scent fills her lungs and she shudders when incredibly soft palms smooth down from her shoulders over the entire length of her arms, raising goosebumps in their wake.

VALERIA  
I like the way you feel.

Valentina’s breath tickles her skin and Juliana clenches her hands into fists at her sides, suppressing the urge to reach out and touch the actress. She’s so glad there are no cameras around, because she’s too overwhelmed to control her facial expression. But it seems she’s not the only one who’s affected, because Valentina’s fingers tremble slightly as they splay against her stomach, and it makes Juliana tingle all the way down to her toes. 

VALERIA  
I can’t stop thinking about you. 

A silky smooth cheek brushes against her own before Valentina’s lips find the spot next to her ear, pressing a feather-light kiss against her skin. Slowly they continue, sliding downward, trailing the underside of her jaw to hover over the pulse point that begins to thrum rapidly in Juliana’s neck. 

She thinks if she tilts her head just a little to the right, her lips will find Valentina’s slightly fuller ones. She wonders if it’ll feel any different. Than a guy. She quickly squashes the thought because none of this is real. None of this is real, she reminds herself again. It’s just an act. 

Then why is her heart beating so fast?

Valentina’s hands start roaming her stomach and hips, and Juliana arches back against the actress, one hand coming up and reaching behind her to tangle in Valentina’s hair. She lets out a shuddering sigh when full lips carefully map out the line of her neck, nibbling at her sensitive skin. 

It should frighten her – how easy it is to lose herself in Valentina. It feels like she’s being overwhelmed, and it takes her a moment to remember her next line. 

SOFIA  
What are you doing?

The flustered words are a little too genuine, but she’s already tilting her head to allow the girl more access to her neck, and her hand clenches in Valentina’s hair when her mouth trails upward towards her ear.

VALERIA  
You know what I’m doing.

Juliana draws in a sharp breath and slowly turns to face Valentina and, god, she’s beautiful. There’s something in her expression, and – Juliana doesn’t want to dwell on it too much, but there’s definitely a spark in her slightly darkening blue eyes that wasn’t there before. 

They stare at each other for a long charged moment before Valentina cups her cheek with one hand, and swipes her thumb across Juliana’s bottom lip.

VALERIA  
Do you ever just let things happen to you?

Juliana can’t be blamed when her gaze flicks to full lips, feeling the softness of Valentina’s finger against her own. The atmosphere changes swiftly, and Juliana is more than a little surprised at the heavy, pure want deep in her chest. 

SOFIA  
Maybe..

The distance between them slips away, the air heating and sparkling with a tension that has always been only theirs. The lines are blurring and they’re blurring fast. She thinks she should stop this, that she should pull away and laugh about it and tomorrow everything will go back to normal. Or as close to normal as things ever are. 

But she doesn’t have enough willpower to do that. She doesn’t want to stop. If anything, she wants to go on and on until there’s nothing between them but sighs and lips. It should scare her. It will scare her in the morning and days to come.

VALERIA  
Stop overthinking things, okay? Let’s just enjoy the moment for now.

Juliana breathes out a laugh - an actual blush dusting her cheeks – because this fictional conversation feels way, way too real. Valentina must realize it too because she swallows, glancing down briefly.

SOFIA  
Yeah, you’re right. 

Valentina looks up then, a shy almost bashful look on her face. Carefully, she laces their fingers together, and a moment later she’s leaning in, slowly, tentatively, and Juliana doesn’t even realize she’s doing the same until they are so close she can feel Valentina’s breath on her lips. Their noses brush together, sharing the same air, heavy with nervous anticipation and something unknown. 

She feels incredibly distracted all of a sudden. She’s distracted by Valentina’s eyes and her long eyelashes and her perfect, luscious lips. She’s talking but Juliana’s only dimly aware of the words washing over her. All she can focus on are the miniscule details of Valentina’s stunning face.

“Juls?” Valentina whispers again, and distances herself a little so she can look Juliana in the eye. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”


	14. Part 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, but here's what happens next :) Please let me know what you think and thanks again for all your support!

“Juls?” Valentina whispers again, and distances herself a little so she can look Juliana in the eye. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

Juliana blinks her eyes back into focus, and the automatic ‘yes’ is on the tip of her tongue, but the way Valentina looks at her asks her to really consider the question. She swallows under Valentina’s unwavering gaze and her lips move silently, figuring out what to say. Turns out it’s difficult to make sense when you’re terribly confused just about everything yet wanting it all the same time.

She finds herself on shifting grounds, caught between two opposite forces – she wants to continue whatever is happening between them, regardless of the highly questionably blurring of boundaries and possible consequences. Because this is connecting with Valentina on a whole other lever, and it’s such an addictive and intoxicating feeling, that all she wants to do is throw caution to the wind. 

Say yes, say yes. Just say yes! 

The words echo in her head, in the pulse of her veins, the rhythm of her breathing. Because this is her chance. Valentina’s here, willing and quietly eager as she watches her with wide, vulnerable eyes. Juliana can feel the word bubble in the back of her throat, just ready to spill out, but she can’t bring herself to actually say it out loud. Because a true professional partner would have never fathomed being in Valentina’s apartment this late at night in the first place. 

“I’m sorry, Juls. I thought--” Valentina’s voice startles her out of her inner conflict, and Juliana watches her scoot away from her slightly. Valentina’s fingers hover near her forearm, almost grazing her skin before she withdraws them. “I’m so sorry, I must have misread the signals. We don’t have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay to say no.”

Juliana’s eyes widen in response and her mouth drops open, slowly shaking her head. She has to find a way to speak because Valentina looks so embarrassed and clearly ready to throw in the towel. She absolutely cannot let that happen. 

“No, Val,” she chokes out, taking a deep, calming breath. “I know that. But I want to. I do.” 

She forces a smile, however nervous it is on her lips. It still shocks her to realize how much she means those words. She can’t quite articulate why, not to Valentina’s face. Not yet. 

Valentina absorbs this for half a moment, blue eyes darting between brown ones. “Are you sure?” she whispers hesitantly, giving her a tentative smile Juliana forces herself to return. Their voices are so quiet, as if afraid to scare the other away.

“Yeah,” she breathes out, running a shaky hand through her hair. “I’ve just never done anything like this before, so I feel a little nervous about it.” 

Valentina seems just as surprised as her at the honesty of it, and Juliana’s heart stumbles at the softening of her gaze. 

“Me neither,” Valentina whispers. “This is new to me, too, you know?”

Juliana blinks up at her, a tiny frown settling between her brows. “You’ve kissed other co-stars before, right? I mean, I saw you and Lucho..”

Valentina heaves a sigh and glances down briefly before capturing Juliana’s eyes again. “Yeah, sure, I’ve shared on-screen kisses with multiple co-stars, but..” she pauses, chews at the inside of her lip for a moment. “It’s not really the same.”

Juliana stares into Valentina’s eyes, searching them. “What do you mean?” 

Valentina pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, lashes lowered. She seems to hesitate before she whispers, “It’s not the same.. because I’ve never actually practiced one.. you know, off-screen, with any of my former co-stars.” 

She looks a little pale, her posture guarded, like she’s waiting for… something. Juliana’s reaction? Reply? She’s not sure. 

“That makes sense.. Keeping the relationship professional,” she offers, and Valentina hums in agreement. But this raises another question. A question she isn’t sure she should ask. 

She studies Valentina’s face for a moment, worrying her bottom lip. “So, why now?” she whispers, too curious not to ask.

Valentina’s eyes widen a little before she glances down, shifting her weight on the couch. “Because this…” she starts, gesturing between the two of them. “Somehow feels different.”

Juliana frowns, cocking her head to the side. “Why? Because I’m a girl?”

Valentina’s shaking her head even before she finishes her sentence. “What? No!” she hurries to clarify, reaching up to press a hand against her own forehead. “That’s not what I meant at all.”

Juliana blinks at her, slow and confused. “Well, what do you mean?” 

Valentina sighs and pushes a hand through her long hair, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. “It’s just… It’s kind of silly, actually.”

Juliana’s brows raise in response and Valentina flashes her an almost bashful smile, biting her lip. Her hands fold. Unfold. Like a disjointed wringing. She finally places them on her legs and grips her knees as if to hold her hands in place.

“You make me nervous,” Valentina finally blurts out, raising her hands to hold them in front of her face. They are trembling. “Look at me, I’m nervous. I never get nervous.”

Juliana blinks. “I-- I make you nervous?” 

Sometimes, she finds herself caught off guard – and in complete disbelief, still – at seeing Valentina so… open with her. So genuine. So real.

Valentina’s throat bobs as she swallows, her eyes darting around nervously. There’s a choked quality to her voice, like she’s clamping down on some impulse so strongly it constricts her throat, when she whispers, “Very.”

Juliana freezes for a moment, her eyes glued to Valentina’s face. “Oh,” she finally manages to utter, her voice a bit raspy. She reaches up to smooth her brow with her finger, not quite sure how to respond. Her mind is spinning, jumbled with questions, and she can’t hold back her next words. 

“Why do I make you nervous?” 

Valentina doesn’t say anything at first. She looks away, and there is a contemplating frown on her face. Just when Juliana thinks she won’t answer, Valentina clears her throat and looks up at her again. 

“You make me nervous, because..” she trails off, and seems to struggle with her reply. “Because, yeah.. obviously, I’ve never so much as kissed another woman.” 

She releases a breathy laugh and pulls her hair over one shoulder, brushing the ends. Her eyebrows are drawn together, and she’s biting the inside of her lip – a sign that tells Juliana she’s both unsure and nervous. 

Finally, after another moment of silence, Valentina whispers, “But that’s not it. You’re just… You’re different.” 

She’s not ready to confront all that ‘different’ might mean to Valentina, but her mouth seems to decide otherwise. “Different, how?” It’s out of her mouth before she can stop it. Swallow it down and keep it inside. 

Valentina tenses slightly, looking extremely uncomfortable. Scared, even. Juliana doesn’t know why. Or, maybe, she does and simply doesn’t want to face it yet.

“Most people have tried to befriend me in the past solely because of my last name rather than who I am as a person. Everyone always seems to want something from me.” Juliana watches her swallow, tightly, and Valentina’s next words are soft and tentative. “But not you..” 

Juliana’s heart skips a beat and she doesn’t look away from Valentina’s face, watching the play of emotions crossing over her beautiful features. 

“You’re nothing like I expected you to be,” she continues quietly, her expression soft yet intense. “I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. At every turn, you continue to surprise me, and it’s confusing.. You’re confusing.” 

Juliana frowns and glances down at her lap, surprised by how much these words upset her. “Oh.. Well that’s.. that was never my intention.”

She feels the sudden urge to flee the room, but when she looks up and sees a flash of what looks like panic in the other girl’s eyes, it is enough to give her reason to pause. 

“I’m sorry,” Valentina blurts out, inching slightly closer. “That came out all wrong. I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s the opposite, actually.” 

Blue eyes capture brown ones, and Juliana lets out a shuddering sigh at the intensity she finds there. 

“I care about you, Juls,” Valentina breathes out, and Juliana’s heart stops before it restarts, beating twice as fast. “I care about you… a lot.” 

Juliana’s breath catches in her throat and she feels her entire body slump at those words. A slight smile tugs at the edges of her lips as she stares into Valentina’s eyes, an electric current racing down her spine.

“I might seem pretty experienced for my age,” Valentina continues, shaking her head slightly. “But with you, acting feels different.. Everything feels different.” She halts again and pushes a hand through her hair, her eyes searing into Juliana’s. “I just don’t want to mess things up between us.”

Valentina bows her head and her hair covers her face, hiding her eyes. Juliana slowly scoots closer and reaches up to tuck a few strands of hair behind Valentina’s ear. She’s still looking down and Juliana wants her to look at her, so she drags her fingers down the side of Valentina’s face until they rest underneath her chin. She gently pushes it upwards, forcing Valentina to look at her again.

“Hey,” she whispers, smoothing her thumb over Valentina’s cheekbone. Blue eyes are guarded. A little embarrassed, too. Juliana hates that she’s made her feel this way. “Don’t be like that, Val. It’s okay. You’re nervous. I’m nervous. So let’s be nervous together, okay?” 

She’s a bit taken aback with how strong her voice suddenly sounds in the quiet room. Valentina blinks up at her, and her growing smile is a little tentative, but she nods. Juliana relaxes a little, and Valentina subconsciously mirrors her posture. 

“Let’s do this,” she whispers, and Juliana keeps going before Valentina can object - and because she’s afraid that if she stops, she’ll lose her sudden, reckless courage. “Let’s do this so we’ll be more comfortable doing it in front of the camera.” 

Valentina blinks, once, twice, her full lips curling up into a surprised, little grin. “Okay. Yeah, I guess you’re right. This would have been very awkward, you know? With the crew and cameras around.” 

Juliana lets out a chuckle – half laugh, half coughing release of tension – and Valentina starts to laugh as well. 

Soon, their chuckles die down, and the tension builds back up. The air almost thick; almost suffocating, and Juliana has to clear her suddenly dry throat. 

“You know we’re putting way too much thought into this, right?” she whispers with a smile, unsure where this sudden bravery is coming from. “Look, I think we should just.. go with the flow.” 

“Right..” Valentina whispers, blinking up at her. “If anything, you’re the person I’d like to try this with. I mean, look at you.. The whole world probably wishes they were me right now.” 

Valentina’s slow blooming smile makes her chest feel like it might split open, and Juliana lets out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. Valentina’s trying to keep it light. Juliana pretends she succeeds. Deep down, it actually swells her chest to hear those words, but work-focused Juliana cannot afford to dwell on it. 

“Well, lucky you,” she chuckles and lets her tongue catch between her teeth, glancing down briefly. She’s trying to keep it light, too.

What are they doing?

“You have no idea..” Valentina says it so softly, that Juliana nearly misses it. Nearly. 

She blinks when Valentina’s words slowly register in her brain, and it knocks the air out of her lungs. Her eyes search Valentina’s face, and it would be so easy to stop and ask her to explain, but she’s afraid. Afraid it might all end, so she takes a breath and forces a small smile to her face.

“We can do this,” Valentina whispers, and the quiet conviction in her words sends a shiver down Juliana’s spine. She holds up her pinky and flashes Juliana a stunning smile, her blue eyes sparkling. 

Juliana glances at her hand for a moment before she reaches up to hook her pinky around Valentina’s, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. 

“We can do this,” she echoes softly. It’s a pact, a promise, and they stare at each other for a long moment, matching smiles stuck on their faces. 

Blue eyes fall to Juliana’s lips before Valentina makes herself look away, blowing out a small sigh. She gently untangles their fingers and rearranges herself on the couch, leaning back against the cushions. She stares down at her lap, seemingly contemplating something. 

“I want to try something different for this scene,” she finally whispers, glancing up again. 

Juliana blinks, remembering Valentina’s earlier words: ‘I’m very intuitive.. And now and then, I tend to stray from the script. I just act upon what feels right. I like to improvise, you know, make it more natural.. authentic.’ 

She cocks her head curiously. “Okay?” 

Valentina studies her for several silent seconds before she whispers, “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Juliana answers without the slightest bit of hesitation, and Valentina’s eyes crinkle at the edges with a warm, gorgeous smile. Blue eyes stare steadily into her own, and Juliana’s heart pounds in her chest.

“Okay, then.. come here,” Valentina gently orders, tapping her hands against her thighs. Juliana’s eyes widen in shock before she quickly rearranges her features into a neutral mask. She can’t, however, stop the blush rising in her cheeks. 

This seems like another highly questionably blurring of boundaries but Juliana can’t find it in herself to object. She glances down and then back at Valentina’s face, lightly biting her lip. Valentina’s smirk is small, but it speaks volumes. 

Slowly gathering herself, Juliana scoots closer on her knees to straddle Valentina’s lap, placing her hands on the other girl’s shoulders to balance herself. Her knees sink down into the soft cushions as she gently lowers her weight onto Valentina’s thighs, her body shivering at the sensation. She has to close her eyes at the sensory near-overload, and Valentina shudders out a breath but stays almost perfectly still.

After another second, Juliana’s eyes flutter open again, and her breath pitches up slightly when she catches Valentina staring up at her with such an intensity in her eyes that she feels her own mouth run dry. God, she’s nervous. So very nervous. She had no idea how nerve-wrecking it would be to simply gaze into Valentina’s eyes and have her stare back.

“Is there any time frame?” she murmurs, needing a distraction and clearing her throat. “I mean.. How long do we have to-- you know..”

Valentina releases a breathy chuckle, blue eyes darting down to Juliana’s lips. “I don’t know,” she answers in a slightly lower voice, and it feels unfairly seductive when the tip of her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “I think that’s something we decide on ourselves. Whatever we’re comfortable with.”

Juliana nods, attempting a smile and trying to stop her brain from memorizing the way Valentina’s face looks, the way her eyes are the prettiest shade of blue she’s ever seen. 

“Okay.” She’s almost surprised to hear a drop in her own voice, too. Almost, but not quite. 

Because she’s acutely aware of Valentina’s fingers tracing circles on her shoulder, running down her arm, back up, under her hair, gently caressing the sensitive spot behind her ear and back to her shoulder again. Lost in the gentleness of her touch Juliana sighs, her eyes fluttering closed once again. 

“If you want to stop, please tell me,” Valentina whispers, putting her free hand on Juliana’s hip. “If I do anything wrong, or if you’re feeling uncomfortable, or if I--“

“Val,” Juliana cuts off her rambling, tipping her forehead to rest against Valentina’s. “You won’t.” It never fails to astonish her how gentle Valentina is with her.

Valentina closes her eyes and presses her forehead to Juliana’s more firmly, exhaling a shaky sigh. Her fingers tighten against Juliana’s hip and it’s making her dangerously weak. It feels like she’s shaking, and Valentina doesn’t feel much better considering the tremble Juliana can detect in the fingers currently sliding up her arm. When Valentina’s eyes flutter open again, they’re an even deeper shade of blue. 

It occurs to her that she’s holding her breath. Has been for the last several seconds. They’re inches apart, their noses nearly touching and Juliana can’t help but look down at Valentina’s lips. She aches. She aches in places she’s never ached before. She aches for things she can’t possibly want. The air is heavy and Valentina’s stare is intense, too intense. Juliana’s not sure she wants it to be this electric. 

Valentina reaches up, gently toying with her hair at the nape of her neck. “You okay?” she whispers, and Juliana feels more than a little stunned at the other girl’s show of self-control. 

She still has the ability to think and ask questions and make sure Juliana’s comfortable. Juliana herself knows she’s already past the point of no return. She bites her lower lip and lets out a quiet, shaky breath, simply nodding her head. She’s pretty sure her voice won’t work anyway. Valentina breathes out a smile in response and continues to look at her with that vulnerable, gentle spark in her eyes that sets off butterflies in Juliana’s stomach.

Her gaze sweeps across Valentina’s face, over the tempting curve of her lips. She can’t seem to drag her eyes away from the other girl’s mouth, and her hand moves of its own accord, settling against Valentina’s jaw. Her thumb trembles just slightly as she traces Valentina’s bottom lip, doing her best to ignore the tingle that runs through her hand at the contact.

Valentina releases a shaky breath and Juliana glances up to study her eyes for a reaction. All she gets is a softness in the way that Valentina looks at her and a moment to realize that Valentina is leaning in. Juliana gravitates towards her as well, her heart beating so loudly she’s sure they can both hear it, rhythmically pounding through the stillness.

She doesn’t let herself overthink it. She could, but she won’t. So she slides her hand into Valentina’s hair and holds the back of her neck, hearing the slight hitch in the other girl’s breathing when her nose gently caresses Valentina’s.

Valentina’s lips are no more than a whisper away from hers, and she feels how quivering the other girl’s breath is against the skin of her face, sending a shudder through her body. Valentina’s hands grip her waist and keep her close, and Juliana thinks she knows what’s about to happen. She thinks she knows but she also feels scared and nervous that it won’t. 

What if she has second thoughts? What if--

The gentle press of Valentina’s lips against her own startles her out of her thoughts, and Juliana is pretty sure her heart stops. At first, their mouths don’t even move, just a pressing of closed lips, and she wonders if it even counts as a kiss. But as they both relax, their lips separating for a moment, it eases into something more intimate.

It is novel yet familiar, slow but also thrilling, and Juliana feels it everywhere. She can’t help but note how well they fit together. There’s no awkward fumbling or nose-bumping, as it often happens during the first time with someone new. In every movement, every slide of lips, they match each other. It takes her breath away.

Her hands shake just the smallest amount as she pulls Valentina closer, dragging her lips down far enough so that she can pull Valentina’s bottom lip between hers. She sucks on it gently and Juliana doesn’t anticipate the reaction it stirs in her- a sudden passion she doesn’t even recognize.

Her arms circle Valentina’s shoulders as she arches into her and lets out a small sigh at having Valentina’s fingers graze her lower back. There’s a tiny bell going off in the back of her mind. They shouldn’t. She knows they shouldn’t. She knows it shouldn’t feel this good. It shouldn’t feel so satisfying just to kiss someone. But when Valentina catches her bottom lip between her own, Juliana wonders if this is what it feels like to be consumed. 

There’s a trail of goosebumps where Valentina’s hand ventures up her neck, only for her fingers to get tangled up in Juliana’s hair as she tugs her closer. The kiss isn’t heated or fake; it’s curious. It’s different. It feels like it matters. Juliana doesn’t miss the way that Valentina pulls at the back of her neck, holding them even closer as she tilts her head and changes the angle off the kiss. 

She really, really likes kissing this girl. Her lips are softer and fuller than what she’s used to. Fingers gliding over her skin are light and slender, and the touch is almost feather-like. She feels Valentina’s lips part, moving her own with them and then there’s a hint of wetness against her lips. Juliana thinks she imagined it, until Valentina swipes her tongue over her bottom lip and Juliana sucks in a sharp breath through her nostrils. 

All her resolve, weeks of fighting her feelings, it all means nothing the moment she feels Valentina’s tongue against her lip. She doesn’t even think when she opens her mouth, letting Valentina slide her tongue in. She tangles her hand in the other girl’s hair, her tongue reaching out to meet Valentina’s. They find an angle, a rhythm within seconds and it’s overwhelming. It’s Valentina, and her, and them, and her mind is bursting with thinking everything at once and nothing at all. 

Valentina’s hands slide down her back until they’re cupping Juliana’s backside, urging her closer. Her breathing is uneven and hitched. She pulls back to angle her head and kiss her again, drawing in air and breathing against her mouth. It’s gentle, yet shockingly passionate, and it demands to be felt.

After another long moment, they finally break apart. The next few seconds are just slightly unsteady breathing and when Valentina’s eyes blink open, Juliana’s breath hitches when she sees how dark they are - her pupils filling her irises almost to the edge as if they’re trying to drink in more. Her gaze is heady, unfocused. Juliana thinks she looks the same. She certainly feels the same. 

VALERIA  
Feels good, doesn’t it?

Juliana blinks her eyes back into focus and she can only nod, trying to control her heart rate. Valentina licks her lips and she looks like she’s trying to savor Juliana’s lingering taste rather than simply wetting her lips. This is out of the realm of simply practicing their lines. Juliana knows that. Somehow, the knowledge didn’t stop her from doing this, and they watch each other through lidded eyes for a moment with a quiet sort of awe. 

Valentina lifts a hand to sweep some of the hair off Juliana’s temple, tucking the errant strands behind her ear, and the intimacy of the gesture, the way Valentina blinks at her slowly, has Juliana swallowing against a dry lump in her throat.

VALERIA  
Good things happen if you just let them.

Her voice breaks a little as Juliana’s fingers start to wander across her skin, raising goosebumps in their wake. Valentina looks at her with a quiet sort of longing, with affection. It’s Valeria and it’s Valentina and Juliana doesn’t know which one she’s looking at right now. But before she’s even fully aware of it, Valentina leans in again, claiming her lips in a searing kiss.

She hooks her arms around Valentina’s neck. Presses close to her, closer, closer, until there’s not an inch left between them. And then, just for a few seconds, the kiss is heated. Intense. More than she was really expecting, almost more than she’s prepared to deal with. 

Her hips twitch involuntary, causing a delicious friction between her legs. And when Valentina shifts her thigh ever so slightly, seeking more contact, Juliana has to bite back a gasp that threatens to leave her. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she never wants to stop. 

She allows the kiss to become more urgent, more passionate, and she can’t stop herself from rocking more boldly against Valentina. It triggers a tight coil of arousal low in her abdomen, and when Valentina starts pushing back into her movements - slender fingers squeezing encouragingly at her hips - she has to break the kiss to draw a sharp breath.

Valentina’s mouth attaches to the curve of her neck and their cheeks almost press together when Valentina starts releasing the most gorgeous breathy sounds against her ear. They’re hitched, desperate, and it’s driving her crazy. 

“Val,” she breathes out, and it takes all of her willpower to disentangle herself, putting a hand against Valentina’s sternum. Valentina’s heart is hammering away under her touch, and Juliana shudders with that knowledge. She did this. It’s because of her. It’s for her. The fire in her stomach doesn’t die and the ragged breath Valentina exhales only serves to ignite it further. 

She thinks that the longer they stay silent, the longer they can pretend that everything’s okay. The longer they can float in this limbo between fiction and reality where it’s just the two of them, and everything else is left in the outside world. She knows she’s stalling, but she needs to calm her heart and breathing down if she wants to speak actual words. 

Valentina moves her hand to rub Juliana’s back tenderly, and the silence is heavy enough to paralyze Juliana with fear, thoughts of Valentina regretting their kiss entering her mind. 

But they are just playing a part, right? 

It’s nothing more than an act, she tries and fails to convince herself. Because she can’t exactly muster up her finest acting skills when Valentina looks at her like that. Her eyes are so dark and beautiful that it forces a gulp in her throat. She gets stuck staring into them for a long moment before she finally remembers her next line.

SOFIA  
What are we doing, Val? What does it mean?

Valentina seems to shake herself out of her trance, and Juliana watches her trap her bottom lip between her teeth. She gently covers Juliana’s hand with her palm, pressing it tighter against her chest. 

VALERIA  
Why do we have to define it? I like kissing you. I like being next to you. I doesn’t need to be more than that. 

Juliana studies Valentina’s face. How tender she is with her movements. How gentle she’s being, even though not a moment before they were sharing heated kissed. Valentina stares back at her, dark blue eyes roaming her face so intently that a flush begins to creep up her neck. She can barely summon her voice so she ducks her head and bites her lip around a smile. 

SOFIA  
We have to talk, you know? At some point, we have to talk.

Valentina brings their clasped hands up and presses a lingering kiss on the back of Juliana’s hand, holds it to her cheek for a moment, adds a brush of her lips to Juliana’s pulse point. 

VALERIA  
I know.

Juliana leans in and brushes the tip of her nose against Valentina’s before she wraps her arms around her in a tight hug, needing to ground herself. Their cheeks lay warm against each other and, for a moment, she feels inexplicably scared.

“You’re okay, right?” she whispers, scared they’d crossed the line and terrified of the consequences. 

Instead, Valentina tangles her hand in the ends of her hair and gives a gentle squeeze to her waist. “I’m more than okay, Juls.”


	15. Part 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments. There was an overwhelming amount of feedback on the last update and it made me smile reading all of your thoughts. I really appreciate you all! This chapter is Valentina’s POV. Let me know what you thought of this one :)

Valentina spends the start of her day generally being useless. It’s her day off from filming and she attempts to rehearse her lines for an upcoming episode, but her mind insists on venturing to her night with Juliana every few minutes, and eventually she all but gives up on being productive for the day.

Last night.. Last night was a surprise. To both of them, Valentina thinks. She honestly didn’t expect any of this to happen. She didn’t expect things to get so intense, so… personal. She suspected; ever since that night in the dark alley, ever since having a couple of hazy, confusing dreams, but none of those scenarios had even remotely prepared her for the real thing. 

The way her body reacted… Responding to Juliana’s touch, her scent, the way she looked at her. She can’t forget the intense temptation to just cross the distance between them in every sense of the word. She doesn’t know who this person is, who would risk everything for-- what? None of it was real, no matter how much she just wants to do it again and again.

Normally, kissing a co-star is as impersonal as it can get. However, kissing Juliana is as personal as she’s feared it to become, and it confuses her to no end. Because she’s never been attracted to a girl before. She’s never felt such a strong pull towards anyone - the chemistry between them beyond her understanding. 

Besides, she’s already in a relationship… With a man. 

But honestly, Jason didn’t even cross her mind last night, and it makes her question just how straight she is. It makes her reconsider everything she’s ever believed to be true about love and relationships. So maybe sexuality isn’t set in stone. Maybe it’s flexible. 

Before last night she could still pretend she had control, she could still pretend this wasn’t something more than just an act. But she knows the line between friendship and something more is growing increasingly blurred, and it terrifies her because… well, it’s not like she’s opposed to the idea of them crossing that line. She suppresses an inner giggle that’s closer to a hysteria than an actual laugh.

So maybe she is waiting for a text from Juliana, maybe she is hoping that nothing changed, but deep down she knows that’s not true. She saw it Juliana’s eyes when she left. The unspoken questions, the uncertainty. Last night changed everything and she knows there’s no turning back. There’s no more pretending. 

Valentina finds that once you admit feelings to yourself, they become so much more intense. Before, she could put Juliana out of her mind for a few hours, but now there’s nothing else she can think about. 

Crystal clear memories play in her mind in a continues loop, repeating itself like a broken record. All she can think of is Juliana - those mesmerizing brown eyes shielded by her long beautiful eyelashes. Those perfectly sculpted lips, and how soft and sweet they felt. She closes her eyes at the memory, her lips parting on a soft sigh. 

Her hand itches to text Juliana but she resists. Although the fact that she and Juliana have been constantly in each other’s space for weeks kind of leaves her in an odd position. Because usually she would be texting Juliana. So what, does that all change now that they’ve practiced a kiss? 

Her dilemma is solved when her phone buzzes with a text and she practically launches herself at her phone.

Juliana  
Are you okay?

It might seem like such a trivial question, but Valentina knows what she’s really asking. A slight smile tugs at her lips as she types out her reply, feeling her heart rate kick up a notch.

Valentina  
Are you asking me if I regret what happened between us?

She’s amazed and slightly terrified at how bold she’s gotten, and her heart threatens to leap out of her chest with how fast it’s suddenly beating. Her thumb hovers only for a second, and then she presses send again, holding her breath when Juliana reads the text almost immediately.

Valentina  
Because I don’t.

Juliana starts to type a reply that comes a few seconds later.

Juliana  
No?

Valentina grins, biting down on her bottom lip.

Valentina  
No. I liked it. 

It’s a distant cry from what she really feels. What she wants to say. And still it feels like she’s not in her own apartment but on a surgical table, ribs cracked open and heart exposed to the world. She scoffs at herself inwardly. She’s having some extremely conflicting feelings and she hurriedly types out another message.

Valentina  
From a purely professional perspective, of course.

She holds her breath as those three little dots appear and disappear before her phone buzzes in her hand with another text message.

Juliana   
Naturally.. 

Juliana  
I feel so special.

Valentina exhales with a soft chuckle, her thumbs flying over the screen. 

Valentina  
Well, you should. 

She bites her lip and rolls her eyes at the urge to twirl a lock of hair on her finger. This is – it’s flirting, isn’t it? She hopes she’s not reading too much into it.

“Tell him I say hi,” a voice startles her enough to almost drop her phone. 

Valentina’s eyes fly up and Ivana flashes her an amused smirk in response. Somehow she completely forgot about her friend’s presence beside her on the couch - forgot that anyone existed except herself and Juliana. 

She gapes at her friend, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she manages any sound. “I’m sorry.. What?”

Ivana snorts and throws her a puzzled look. “Jason?” she clarifies, gesturing towards Valentina’s phone. “Isn’t that him?” 

Valentina blinks, shaking her head once. “No?”

“Okay, now I’m curious..” Ivana chuckles, arching an eyebrow. She pulls her legs underneath herself on the couch and lays her magazine aside, turning her full attention back to Valentina. “If that isn’t Jason, then who is making you smile like that?”

Valentina’s breath hitches in her throat and her heart misses a few beats before reluctantly falling back into rhythm. 

“No one..” she murmurs, and there’s a small, sheepish smile hiding at the corner of her lips. 

“All right,” Ivana hums, watching her curiously. “Well, whoever it is, must be someone special to make you smile like that.”

Valentina feels her cheeks heat up and rolls her eyes, sinking back into the cushions. She knows exactly what her friend is hinting at, but she decides to ignore her comment. She quickly turns her attention to her phone and flips through her pictures to distract herself, inevitably pausing when her selfie with Juliana fills the screen. 

She stares at Juliana’s face for a moment and smiles to herself, feeling that familiar tingle at the sight of her. Glancing up, she notices her friend trying to peek at the screen of her phone out of the corner of her eyes. 

“That’s your co-star, right? Juliana?” Ivana asks, and at the mention of Juliana, Valentina’s stomach does a somersault, but she fights not to let it show on her face and nods her head. 

Ivana narrows her eyes and keeps looking at her with that curious expression. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” 

“What do you mean?” Valentina mumbles, quickly avoiding her friend’s eyes again. 

“You’re acting weird.”

A nervous laugh falls from Valentina’s lips, running a hand through her hair. “I’m not.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me. Which is fine, obviously, but..” Ivana pauses, cocking her head slightly to the side, her eyes scanning over Valentina’s features as though she’ll find her answer there. “Is there something going on between you two?” 

A vivid image of Juliana’s face flashes through her mind and Valentina ducks her head to hide her blush. “No, of course not. There’s nothing going on, we’re friends.”

Ivana looks at her for a second, clearly not buying her response. 

“Okay..” she says, dragging the word out. “Well.. why are you blushing then?” 

“I’m not,” Valentina chuckles and quickly looks away, knowing she’s revealing more by her embarrassment than she should. “It’s no big deal.” 

Ivana frowns, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. “I don’t buy it.” 

She studies Valentina, and Valentina pretends not to notice, because she can sense the shift in the air and she doesn’t want to discuss what Ivana’s about to bring up. 

“What is this really about, Val?”

Valentina heaves out a sigh, putting her phone aside. “What do you want me to say, Iv?”

A soft smile traces Ivana’s lips as she regards Valentina with a curious expression. “Just tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Valentina snorts and shakes her head, brushing her hair over her right shoulder. “Do you ever have that thing where someone walks into your life and just.. changes everything?”

Ivana hums in affirmation, her gaze unwavering as she tries to read Valentina. She nods her head to encourage her to continue, and Valentina shifts a little on the couch. 

“I think I might be..” she starts before scaring herself and stopping. If she says it out loud, that means it’s real, so she shakes her head and laughs it off. 

“You’ve known me for years,” she continues quietly, after a moment. “You know that I am the epitome of professionalism.”

Ivana nods her head with a smile, the blond streaks in her brown hair shimmering in the glow of the sunlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows. 

“I’ve shared on-screen kisses with multiple co-stars, and yet I have never felt even remotely tempted to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with any of them. And I’m talking devilishly attractive, perfectly-in shape, wealthy actors,” she smiles, gesturing with her hands. “Guys most woman would die to meet.”

Valentina pauses for a second, biting her bottom lip. “But something about Juls just… grabs me.” 

“Okay, so what are you trying to say?” Ivana frowns thoughtfully. “That you… what? Like her?” 

She lets out a surprised little laugh, brown eyes watching her curiously, and Valentina gives her friend an almost helpless little shrug, unable to express what she’s thinking and feeling. 

“In a purely platonic and completely friendly way?” Ivana continues, raising her brows. “Or..?”

“Stop it,” Valentina cuts her off quickly, a nervous laugh falling from her lips. She folds her hands together in her lap, mulling over what to say and how to say it.

“I guess I do..” she admits quietly, glancing down at her lap before meeting her friend’s curious eyes again. “I mean.. yeah, I like her. I think. I don’t know.” 

Ivana’s gaze is surprised. Yet, there’s no trace of judgement. “You have to forgive me for being surprised, Val, because... you don’t even like girls like that?”

“I don’t. I mean-- I don’t know. I just like Juliana.” She can’t help but smile as she says it, her heart rate accelerating. “I’ve never met anyone like her.. And I really like spending time with her. Probably more than I should.. It’s too easy being around her, it’s like I can be me, you know?”

Ivana studies her for a moment, a slight frown settling between her brows. 

“Did something happen between you two?”

The quiet question makes Valentina’s breath hitch in her chest, and she isn’t sure how to respond to that. Her instinctive response is to tell her that nothing has happened between them, but she doesn’t want to lie to her friend. She can’t tell her the whole truth either. 

“No, not really,” she finally settles on, chewing her bottom lip. “I mean, things are heating up between our characters. But, no, there’s nothing going on between Juliana and me. We’re just really good friends.”

“Are you sure that’s all there is to it?”

Valentina throws her friend a questioning look. “What else could it be? She’s not even into girls.”

“Neither were you,” Ivana points out, running a hand through her hair. “Listen.. Is it some kind of experimentation?” 

“No.” 

The answer is so immediate that it even surprises Valentina. She frowns, thinking over the question again. Juliana isn’t an experimentation. She’s so much more than that. 

“I mean… I don’t think so.” She lets out a heavy breath, shaking her head. “I just-- I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone. Ever. It’s like all those books and movies, and now it’s happening to me, you know?”

Ivana flashes her a slight smile before her expression turns serious again. 

“What about Jason?”

Valentina’s stomach lurches uncomfortably and she reaches up to touch her own forehead, glancing down. That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Jason is easy. Comfortable. Expected. The thought of settling down with him, however, feels like an inevitability rather than a dream. Juliana’s a complete opposite. 

“Things with Jason.. it’s complicated, Ivana,” she whispers, and Valentina isn’t sure where to take it from here. “I never planned on falling for someone else.”

“Do you still love him?”

“I..” she huffs, shaking her head in exasperation. “I don’t know what I feel.”

Ivana stares at her for several seconds, her eyes darting between Valentina’s. 

“Yet you seem to know how you feel about Juliana.”

She’s right. Out of everything, the one thing Valentina does know is that she’s falling for Juliana. But she’s terrified and confused and not nearly ready to deal with the possible consequences.

“I can’t just throw away what I have with Jason,” she answers weakly, shaking her head.

“You don’t have to throw it away.”

There’s something in her friend’s voice that makes Valentina look at her more closely, a sudden spike of panic coursing its way through her veins. She knows how close Ivana and Jason are to each other – she’s the one who introduced her to Jason. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you,” she blurts out, feeling her face pale. “I know he’s your friend too.” 

“It’s okay,” Ivana assures her, flashing her a small, but genuine smile. 

“Please, don’t tell Jason, okay?” Valentina whispers, her blue eyes pleading. “I don’t even know what all of this means.”

Ivana reaches out, her hand resting over Valentina’s wrist and squeezing lightly. “Of course not. It’s not my place to tell him.”

Valentina breathes out in relief and glances down at Ivana’s hand before finding the courage to look up into her eyes again. There’s no disappointment. No anger. Only gentle understanding. 

“You need to figure out what all of this means, Val,” Ivana whispers, holding her gaze. “And when you do, you need to be honest with him.”

“I know..” Valentina mumbles, brushing a hand down her face.

Ivana gently tugs at her wrist and pulls her into a long hug. 

“You know I love you, right?” she murmurs into her hair, and Valentina tightens her hold around her friend’s waist.

“I do.” 

It’s nice to be confident about some of her feelings, at least. It’s nice that some things stay the same. It makes her feel like herself again, even if she’s not really sure who that is anymore.


	16. Part 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the long wait, I’ve been crazily busy recently. Hopefully this extra-long chapter makes up for the wait. Thanks again for all your kudos and comments. I really appreciate you all!

“You what?!” Deborah exclaims loudly, shifting forward in her seat to stare at Juliana incredulously. She grips the edge of the table to steady herself, her eyebrows raising nearly into her hairline.

“Hush,” Juliana admonishes, slapping her arm over the table. 

She casts a quick glance around the bar to make sure no one is eavesdropping, but the music is loud enough to drown out their voices. She returns her gaze to her friend, practically seeing the questions sparkling in her wide cerulean eyes, and her stomach swoops nervously. 

“Yeah, you heard me right.” She lets out a soft breath of laughter, running a hand through her hair to push it back from her face. 

Deborah’s eyes widen almost comically, and her mouth drops open in shock. Juliana waits, but it slowly becomes obvious that she’s stunned, speechless for perhaps the first time in her life. She chuckles at the sight of her friend and takes a large swig of her wine, keeping her eyes trained on Deborah over the rim of her glass. 

“You-- You kissed her?” Deborah stammers, and a surprised squeak follows her words as her eyes widen even more, which seems completely impossible. Juliana nods her head in affirmation, an unconscious smile tugging at her lips.

“Oh my god!” Deborah shrieks, practically bouncing up and down in her chair. “You actually kissed Valentina?! As in Valentina Carvajal?! Oh my god!”

“Deb!” Juliana nearly yelps, and she shushes her friend hurriedly. She glances around again to assess the damage, but aside from a few curious glances, no one seems to be unduly interested in them or their conversation. “Sssh! Keep your voice down, will you?” 

Deborah chokes out a stunned laugh and raises her hands in apology, but her expression is not sorry at all. A broad, face-splitting grin spreads across her features as she leans closer over the table, thankfully lowering her voice. 

“What kind of kiss are we talking about? Closed mouth and innocent? Or tongue in mouth and hot?” 

Juliana’s breath hitches and she quickly glances down, her heart suddenly tripping into a faster rhythm. A vivid image of Valentina’s face flashes through her mind – her breathtaking blue eyes fluttering closed, just before she closes the distance between them, and Juliana has to fight the urge to touch her lips, tingling at the memory.

“Uhm..” she clears her throat, blinking up at her friend. A smile, unbidden, tweaks at her lips, eyes flickering away. “Which time?”

Deborah can’t hide the shock on her face. Her mouth falls open and her eyes almost bug out of her head. Probably wasn’t the answer she was expecting at all. 

“You’re messing with me, right?”

Juliana shakes her head, biting her lip on a smile. “No, I’m not.”

Deborah is silent for a moment, her mouth opening and closing with no sound issuing forth. Juliana can see the gears turning in her head and then she looks at her like she’s seeing her for the very first time, her eyes wide with something between awe and shock. 

“Holy shit, Juls!” she chokes out, blinking her eyes owlishly once, twice. “Wow. I just… I don’t even know what to say.” 

“I know, I know,” Juliana chuckles, running her finger nervously around the rim of her glass. “I didn’t expect any of this either.. It sort of just happened, and she’s just..” 

“She’s just… what?” Deborah pushes, tilting her head with a curious grin.

Juliana shifts a little in her seat and feels a flush at the back of her neck when she senses Deborah’s inquiring gaze still on her.

“Ridiculously gorgeous,” she breathes out on a laugh, taking another swig of her wine. 

Deborah snorts softly, shaking her head a little. “Well, duh, yeah. Of course she’s gorgeous. Anyone with eyes can see that.” 

She studies Juliana for a moment, toying with a lock of her brown hair. 

“Look, Juls..” she starts, her expression morphing into a more serious one. “I don’t want to be a buzzkill, but doesn’t she have a boyfriend? You know.. American actor, tall, dark, handsome.. and probably filthy rich?”

Juliana nods, fighting against the churn of her stomach. “Yeah, but it wasn’t like that,” she pauses, deliberating over her words for a few seconds before she continues. “I mean, we were just practicing a scene. And it didn’t mean anything, but..”

“But?” Deborah urges, leaning closer.

“It felt really damn good,” Juliana admits, a small, almost hysterical chuckle escaping her lips. Her eyes dart around to look at the people around them before she leans a little closer, lowering her voice. “And I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

Deborah’s eyes are as wide as saucers and she chokes out a laugh, lifting one hand to cover her mouth. “Jesus, Juls… Is that really a thing? Practice kissing with your co-stars?”

Juliana shakes her head in response, letting out a nervous laugh. “No, I guess not. It’s pretty unconventional.. Not to mention unethical.” 

“You think?” Deborah counters with a teasing quirked eyebrow before she dissolves into laughter, throwing her head back. 

Juliana huffs out a sigh and averts her gaze only to stumble into dark brown eyes staring at her from across the bar. He’s good looking, obviously rich - if his tailored white shirt is any indication, and she allows her gaze to linger for a second longer than necessary. 

He nods his head once in greeting and flashes her a charming smile, raising his glass. He keeps looking at her in a vaguely disconcerting but not altogether unpleasant way, and she quickly tears her gaze away from him, focusing back on her friend. 

“Anyway…” Deborah continues after her chuckles die down, a mischievous smile tracing her lips. “I suppose no one can blame you for being charmed by her. I mean, just look at her. She’s hot! And I bet she’s a good kisser.”

“Deb!” she practically squeals, flinging her hand out and almost knocking over her glass. Deborah grins at her, visibly enjoying how embarrassed Juliana looks by the whole conversation.

“That’s a yes, isn’t it?” she quips, reaching over the table to tussle Juliana’s hair teasingly and laughing when Juliana swats her away.

“Stop it!” Juliana covers her ears, shaking her head. “I don’t want to discuss this with you.”

Deborah laughs again, louder this time, looking thoroughly amused. 

“You know I’m gonna get it out of you eventually,” she chuckles, sending Juliana an amused smirk. “So do you want to just cut to the chase and save us the trouble?”

Juliana’s face flushes before she has the chance to suppress it, but she doesn’t bother to respond, flashing her friend a stubborn look. Deborah arches an eyebrow in response, staring at her until she cracks, smiling shyly.

“You like her,” Deborah observes, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands. 

“I never said that,” Juliana counters with an eye roll, pushing her hands through her hair. She glances away, briefly catching dark brown eyes across the bar again, before Deborah’s voice snaps her attention back to her friend. 

“And yet you want to kiss her again,” she drawls, and Juliana makes sure her next breath is loud and filled with annoyance.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” she murmurs, her hands buried in her hair. 

Deborah snorts, quirking her brow. “Don’t bullshit me, Juls. Just be honest with me.. and with yourself.”

Juliana sighs for what seems like the thousandth time during this conversation. She hesitates, considering her words for a moment; Deborah is almost impossible to lie to and she feels as if she could burst if she doesn’t talk to someone soon, so she lets out a another sigh and clear her throat. 

“Well, yeah, she’s really great. And I…“ Really like her, is what she wants to say next but she trails off because maybe she’s not ready to confess that just yet. Deborah’s eyes are questioning and the words are in Juliana’s throat – she can feel them.

“Yeah?” Deborah prompts, leaning slightly closer. 

“She somehow affects me..” Juliana confesses with a small smile that ends up being a dopey grin. “In more ways than I thought possible.” 

Ever since last night, she’s been caught between feeling like she’s floating on some sort of cloud and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It seems too good to be true. She wants to hope that it isn’t, that Valentina did enjoy it the way she claimed she did in her text message, but it’s difficult. Her insecurity eats at her positive thoughts and she’s terrified that things will change between them.

“I can’t really explain it to you, Deb. I can’t even explain it to myself.. But it’s not a big deal,” she hurries to add, feeling her cheeks heat up again.

“It isn’t?” Deborah teases lightly, arching an eyebrow with a knowing upturn of her lips.

She doesn’t actually answer her friend’s question, but Deborah’s smirk shows that she got her answer nonetheless. Unbidden, Juliana’s eyes move back to look at the guy across the bar and she is surprised to see that dark brown eyes are still fixed to her. Her brows furrow a little, but she pays him no further mind.

“I’m beyond impressed, you know?” Deborah says, taking a swig of her beer. “Do we throw you a coming out party or something? Would you like that?”

Juliana’s eyes snap up, her neck flushing hotly under Deborah’s teasing smirk. 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” she chokes out, her eyes darting around nervously.

“So, since you’re obviously not entirely straight, are you bi or..” At Juliana’s glare, Deborah seems to rein it back a bit, her expression softening. “Hey, I’m just messing with you, Juls. You know I’ll always support you and your explorations of your sexuality.”

Juliana rolls her eyes, huffs out a breath. “I don’t even know if I’m into girls. There’s just…” she pauses for a moment, rubbing at the back of her neck nervously. 

This time, she doesn’t make the mistake of keeping Deborah in the dark. In fact, she’s not sure she’d be capable of doing so even if she’d wanted to. It’s like everything threatens to come bursting out of her. 

“There’s just something about her that pulls at me even though I don’t want it to.” She draws her bottom lip between her teeth, pressing a hand against her own forehead. “I just can’t get her out of my head.. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Deborah looks at her with twinkling eyes. “Girl, you are so whipped.”

“Shut up,” she counters weakly, dropping her gaze with a smile. 

Deborah observes her silently, lips pursing and Juliana’s skin prickles under her gaze.

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

At her words Juliana forces her eyes up, her brows furrowing. “Nothing.”

“What do you mean nothing?”

“What can I possibly do, Deb?” she asks incredulously, shaking her head. “I don’t stand a chance with her. She has a boyfriend!” 

She buries her face in her hands and takes a long, deep breath. “I don’t even know what I want. I don’t know what’s real or unreal anymore. I’m just so confused, and I don’t want to jeopardize our working relationship.”

“All I hear are excuses,” Deborah’s answer is quick and smooth, her expression softening. “Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

“Are you crazy?!” Her voice is so loud that it draws stares, people turning to look at her in surprise and Juliana grunts, embarrassed. She runs a hand over her forehead, lowering her voice as she continues, “I can’t do that.”

Deborah purses her lips in a pout. “Juliana Valdes, did anyone ever tell you that you are too stubborn for you own good?” 

Juliana rolls her eyes and takes down the rest of her wine in one gulp, eager to escape the conversation. 

“Yep, my best friend, but she loves me anyway,” she murmurs, pushing herself up and out of her seat. “I need a drink.” 

“Yes, I do. And I need more details,” Deborah quips as twinkling eyes slide over to her. “You can’t leave me hanging like this. I’m your best friend.”

“Watch me,” Juliana counters, waving her hand and chasing the topic away, but Deborah clings on.

“Oh, I’ll be watching you in a few weeks on Netflix,” she drawls, her annoying smirk having grown twice its normal size. “You know… kissing Valentina Carvajal?”

The flush that races up her neck and cheeks is hot and fiery, and she lets out a long, exaggerated groan. She shuts her eyes for a second, wondering if the floor will open up beneath her through sheer force of will, but when they flicker open again Deborah’s smirk is still firmly in place.

* * *

“Coming right up,” the bartender smiles, and turns away to fix their drinks. Juliana flashes him a smile and leans her elbows on the bar, swiping her finger across the screen of her phone to unlock it. She can’t help but reread her text exchange with Valentina, an unconscious smile curling her lips. 

Valentina  
Are you asking me if I regret what happened between us?

Valentina  
Because I don’t.

Juliana  
No?

Valentina  
No. I liked it. 

Her heart still races just thinking about their kiss. She closes her eyes for a moment, reliving the night before, reliving the sensations of it all, one by one. She knows they were just playing their parts, and yet nothing had ever felt more real to her. Her eyes snap open when she feels someone’s presence beside her, and she quickly locks her phone to hide her screen. 

“Well, hello there,” a deep, unfamiliar voice greets her, and she looks up to find brown eyes staring back at her once again, twinkling in the dim light of the bar. He’s even more handsome up close – the blunt line of his jaw, the stubble dotting his sun-kissed cheeks. 

“Hi,” she responds, a slight smile tugging at her lips. 

He leans casually against the bar, eying her for a moment with open curiosity. 

“You look so familiar,” he states, giving her a subtle once-over. “Have we met before?”

Juliana shakes her head, shoving her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and straightening up.

“No.”

“Are you sure we’ve never met before?” he asks again, cocking his head slightly to the side. “You seem very familiar.”

“Positive.” 

“Okay..” he says, dragging the word out and laughing to himself. “Do you only respond with one word answers?” 

“Depends,” she chuckles, leaning idly back against the bar. 

Maybe this is exactly what she needs. A distraction from her confusing feelings for Valentina. His attention is real and maybe that’s enough. 

“On?” he pushes, sounding intrigued and watching her closely. 

He’s good-looking and he’s here, standing close enough to almost feel his body heat, and she considers it. Just for a moment, enjoying someone’s company for the night again. Being held, holding someone in return, without all the complexity. It’ll be six months soon. 

“Whether or not someone catches my interest,” she finally settles on, and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise before he schools his expression, laughing softly. 

“So, am I?” he challenges, keeping up the smile. “Catching your interest?”

A chuckle escapes her without warning and she shakes her head, leaning back with her elbows on the bar. 

“I haven’t decided yet,” she says, surprising herself by going along for a moment instead of shooing the guy off and going back to scrolling through her phone.

“Then at least let me buy you a drink later?” he offers, smiling and pushing his hair out of his eyes. It’s a nice smile, and nice hair, which she thinks that he knows very well. 

She hesitates, swallowing uncertainly as her eyes flicker between the man beside her and the bartender who returns with her drinks, setting them down silently and moving on to serve other customers. 

Flirting with this guy might get Valentina out of her head, replace the memory of her touch with his, but the eyes staring back at her aren’t the right color and they don’t belong the right person, and suddenly none of this feels right to her.

“I don’t think so,” she blurts out, and quickly grabs their drinks off the bar.

His expression falters for a fraction of a second before it reassembles itself, and he flashes her a small, defeated smile. He’s great, he really is, but Juliana’s suddenly more certain than ever that she is head over heels for Valentina. It’s impossible to dismiss her feelings for any less than what they are: feelings. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” he says, genuinely, and before Juliana’s aware of what’s happening, he leans in and plants a lingering kiss on her cheek. She sucks in a breath, completely unaware of the photographer snapping away with his camera to capture every moment. 

“Have a nice night,” she says before turning around and walking back to Deborah, who had been watching them very intently with curious eyes. 

* * *

Juliana’s footsteps echo as she walks down the long hallway, passing several studios on her way to the dressing room. She’s just reaching into her back pocket to pull out her phone when Valentina emerges from the makeup room and closes the door behind her. 

As if sensing her presence, blue eyes rise to meet hers and Juliana tries to stop her breath from catching – to still her thundering heart at the sight of the wide smile that stretches full lips at the sight of her, responding with a wide one of her own.

“Juls!” 

Valentina covers the few steps between them, and Juliana can’t help but notice that she has an innate elegance in everything she does. It’s almost intimidating to see someone only a few years older than her so in tune and comfortable with their body. 

She stops right in front of her and Juliana can feel her heartbeat thudding, the heavy rap of it in her chest like the flap of a caged bird. She blinks up at Valentina and runs a hand through her hair, tugging on the long strands, still a little damp from her earlier shower.

“Hi,” she breathes out, unable to stop herself from drinking the girl in. 

She’s wearing a simple white t-shirt, a light pair of jeans and her hair is up in a messy bun. Still she looks breathtaking - like she’s sculpted, or photo shopped – and Juliana feels a familiar rush of attraction flowing through her. She tries to push it down, to pretend it’s not there, but it’s useless.

“You look--” she cuts herself off, letting out a nervous-sounding chuckle. 

A faint blush appears on Valentina’s cheeks and she breathes out a laugh, glancing down at herself. And when a strand of hair escapes her messy bun, Juliana is entranced as she watches slender fingers push it back behind her ear. 

“Ordinary?” Valentina jokes, quirking a brow and amusement dancing in her blue eyes.

“You could never look just ordinary, Val,” she whispers, releasing a soft, breathy laugh. “You’re gorgeous.”

Valentina’s lips part and she seems almost speechless for a moment before she whispers, “thanks.” 

Intense blue eyes linger on her face and Juliana can feel her attention like a finger trailing up her spine. It’s like gravity dragging her even closer to the girl, and no matter how much she fights, her feet carry her forwards until she’s close enough to feel the heat of Valentina’s body and to take in that intoxicating smell of hers.

Valentina looks up at her from beneath her lashes, and they’re close, closer than is probably socially acceptable for two friends to be and if Juliana leaned in even a little, their lips would be touching. She glances down at Valentina’s mouth and god, she wants to. 

“Juls..” 

It is so soft, the way her name leaves Valentina’s lips, yet it startles her back to reality. The reality where Valentina isn’t hers to kiss. She’s not hers to desire – not like this. She takes a shuddering breath, and she has to swallow against her suddenly dry throat.

“Yeah?”

The word escapes her on a breath, because Valentina is so very close and Juliana is entranced by the arch of her nose and the color of her eyes until suddenly Valentina moves closer, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug. Juliana instantly melts into the embrace, sliding her arms around the other girl’s slim waist and letting herself enjoy the sensation. 

One of Valentina’s hands tracks the length of her spine to tangle in her hair and she clings onto her, the way her own body can’t seem to distant itself from the brunette. She buries her face in the crook of Valentina’s neck, smelling her shower-fresh scent, and feeling her warm, soft skin. 

She can’t remember ever feeling this desperate need to touch someone before, her hands ending up at the base of Valentina’s t-shirt. The edge creeps up, revealing a strip of skin that Juliana can feel beneath her fingertips. Most of her brain is telling her to move her hands, that she shouldn’t be touching Valentina’s bare skin like this, but there’s a quieter voice that’s telling her to enjoy it. 

Valentina holds her for a few more seconds, before she angles her face to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. She pulls back slightly, looking down at Juliana’s lips, then bringing her gaze back up to her eyes. There’s intensity in them and it makes Juliana’s heart stutter in her chest, electricity sparking through every nerve ending all at once. 

She doesn’t know who is leaning in, but the next moment their noses brush together, their mouths inches apart. She shivers in anticipation and exhales a shaky breath, her eyes fluttering closed of their own accord. Valentina tightens her grip on her waist, her warm breath fanning Juliana’s skin, and she feels her lips tingle in response.

She almost whimpers in protest when Valentina suddenly jerks her hands away from her, taking a step back, and Juliana’s eyes fly open in time to see the expression of shocked disbelief on the other girl’s face. 

“Oh god. I’m so sorry,” Valentina apologizes hurriedly, her wide blue eyes anxiously darting around and reaching up to touch her own forehead. “Sorry, I was just..” she stumbles over her words, clearly upset. “I guess I don’t really know what I was doing. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” Juliana cuts through, saving Valentina the embarrassment and when blue eyes look up to meet hers, she catches them, keeps them steady. “It’s okay.”

Valentina’s cheeks are flushed and Juliana just wants to reach out and brush her fingers along it, follow the track of the colors as they fade in and out of one another. Valentina licks her lips, slightly opens her mouth, as if to say something, but then closes it again. 

There’s something like indecision in her eyes for a moment then she nods shortly to herself, clasping her hands together behind her back, like a guilty child standing before a tin of sweets. Juliana wrinkles her nose in response, cocking her head slightly to the left. 

“Why are you making that face?”

Valentina frowns. “What face?”

“This one.”

Her imitation makes Valentina laugh and Juliana blinks up at her, struggling to swallow down the flood of emotions that accompanies the sound. She loves the way Valentina laughs. The way she lets it go at first, then laughs almost silently, wide smile in place, eyes fluttering but never really closing. How she turns her face away, as though her laugh isn’t the most beautiful sound in the world. 

“I don’t look like that,” Valentina snorts, inelegantly, then blushes a little, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in surprise. A laugh escapes Juliana at the display and she shakes her head, smiling.

“No. You look pretty good now.” 

Valentina’s eyebrow rises slightly, but Juliana can tell she’s trying to hide a surprised smile by the way her eyes crinkle slightly. 

“So what-“

“Did you-”

They both stumble to a stop, gesturing awkwardly at one another.

“No, please,” Juliana chuckles at last, waving in her direction, and butterflies stir within her when Valentina offers her an answering smile.

She seems to hesitate for a second before she asks, “Did you have a good time yesterday?” 

She sounds strangely uncertain, vulnerable, and Juliana swears she sees a flash of emotion cross Valentina’s face. It’s covered up after a moment, her face easing back into a normal, neutral expression. 

“Yesterday?” Her eyes cloud over momentarily with confusion, a small frown settling between her brows. “Why are you asking?”

Valentina bites her lip, chewing on it a bit, eyes lowered. “Oh, just because,” she starts before releasing a small, almost awkward chuckle, shifting from foot to foot. 

Juliana’s frown deepens - if she was confused before, now she’s even more confused about where this conversation is going. 

Valentina clears her throat. “I saw a picture of you and some handsome guy at a bar..” she says, her voice carrying a nonchalant tone, and Juliana can’t figure out if it’s forced or not. “Seemed like you two were hitting it off.”

Her eyes widen minutely and she’s abruptly glad that the shirt she’s wearing covers her collarbones, because she can feel the heat travelling up her chest, a dusting of pink that is soon sure to betray her on her cheeks.

“What?” she chokes out, blinking. “Where?”

A tiny lopsided smile appears on plump lips. “You should keep your eye on the celebrity gossip, Juls.”

Juliana’s mouth drops open, but she gathers herself quickly, laughing once in disbelief. “I didn’t think I was that newsworthy. I’m hardly famous.” She glances down, her fingers fuddling with the hem of her shirt.

“Well, you are..” Valentina whispers, and Juliana’s eyes are forced upward of their own accord. The look in Valentina’s eyes is wistful and longing. Juliana doesn’t have much time to ponder over it because it’s gone in a flash. 

“But it seemed…” Valentina hesitates, chewing on her lip, watching her intently and Juliana struggles to keep a straight face under the scrutiny. “Cozy?” 

“Cozy?” she snorts, raising her brows. 

Valentina throws her head back, letting out a free, melodious laugh, and Juliana’s lips settle into a dumb smile. The butterflies in her stomach are distracting and so is just about every part of Valentina. 

“Yeah..” Valentina continues, observing her carefully. “You two seemed pretty close last night?”

The question makes her stomach lurch uncomfortably and she quickly shakes her head. “I-It’s not what you think,” she stumbles over her words, rushing to string them together. “I mean, I don’t even know him. We were just talking, nothing happened..”

She can’t control the fierce need to defend herself, to make Valentina understand her side of the story. Her eyes wander up to chance a glance at the other girl’s face, and she thinks she sees Valentina sigh in relief, but quickly brushes it off as her mind being over imaginative again. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Valentina shrugs, clearly feigning indifference, but Juliana can see right through her. It’s obvious that Valentina does care, because she can see the vulnerability shining in her eyes, and the newfound knowledge causes a shiver down her spine.

“It’s none of my business,” Valentina continues in a whisper, her eyes darting away again.

But I want it to be your business.

The words hang on the tip of her tongue, linger there like a promise of hope and yet she bites them down, pushes them away long enough to answer. 

“Oh, come on, Val,” she smiles, brown eyes catching blue ones. “We’re like… partners in crime, right? Partners tell each other stuff.”

A tender smile curls Valentina full lips, and she releases a small breathy chuckle. 

“I guess..” she whispers, her eyes sparkling with amusement. 

She purses her lips for a moment, obviously wanting to say more, and Juliana waits patiently for whatever it is. 

“Just be careful,” Valentina continues slowly, as if she is still forming her thoughts even as she speaks. “You have no idea how ruthless and single-minded they can be.”

Juliana throws her a puzzled look and Valentina quickly elaborates. “I’m talking about the paparazzi.. Dogging your every step, reporters calling you at all hours. They will intrude on all aspects of personal life with little respect for privacy.” 

Valentina takes a small step closer, blue eyes boring into her in a way that sets Juliana’s heart fluttering. “Don’t let them get to you, okay?”

Juliana blinks, nodding her head once. “Good to know you care.” 

The gentle teasing seems to escape her mouth before she can think about, as though she has no idea of how Valentina feels about her. Maybe she really does not know. Or maybe she just really needs confirmation.

Valentina smiles almost fondly and brings her hand to Juliana’s cheek, caressing softly and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Juliana’s breath catches in her throat at the action, heat rising to her cheeks at Valentina’s intense stare. 

“Of course I care, Juls,” she whispers softly. She watches her with a glimmer of something close to admiration, balancing a fine line in their confusing, newly blossoming… friendship? Whatever it is that is growing between them.

“I didn’t ki--“ Valentina cuts herself off, biting her lip as if she’s afraid to blurt out something she shouldn’t. 

Juliana looks up at her with wide, hopeful eyes. Her heart begins to race and she can’t dare let herself hope. Not yet. But her mouth decides not to listen.

“I care about you too.” 

The words escape her on a breath, tenderness touching every syllable and Valentina’s eyes widen a little. She urges her eyes upwards again when Juliana tries to glance away, a flush creeping its way onto her cheeks, heating them beneath Valentina’s fingers.

Valentina’s grin is so wide and so bright that Juliana’s heart feels like bursting out of her chest. It is quite possibly the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Blue eyes are once again on her lips and Juliana unconsciously licks them.

“Listen,” Valentina whispers and Juliana tenses, feels what’s coming next and isn’t nearly emotionally prepared enough for it. “I know we need to talk about what happened. But not now, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay,” Juliana quickly replies, her voice catching just slightly.

Valentina watches her carefully, brushing her thumb over Juliana’s cheekbone.

“We can’t let this be awkward,” she whispers, keeping her blue eyes locked with Juliana’s. “We just can’t.”

Juliana swallows, just slightly, her throat bobbing. “Agreed. It would be unprofessional.”

Valentina nods her head in agreement, flashing her a slight smile. They stare at each other for a moment when a ringing sound penetrates the silence, and Valentina’s hand falls away from her face to grab her phone. Juliana expects her to answer it, especially when she looks at the screen and sees ‘Jason’ on the caller ID. Instead, Valentina just silences it and looks back at her with a wry smile.

“I got into a fight with him last night,” she clarifies and there’s a strange, excited feeling in Juliana’s stomach.

“What happened?” 

Valentina bites her lip for a moment, pushing her phone back into her pocket. 

“I think he’s jealous that I’m spending so much time with you,” she says, and Juliana’s breath catches in her throat. “I told him he doesn’t have anything to worry about because we’re just friends. Right?” 

Juliana’s heart stops, because there’s no way she’s asking what Juliana thinks she’s asking. Right? There’s a strange look on Valentina’s face, one that Juliana can’t quite identify, so she swallows and nods. 

“Yeah, right, of course. We’re just friends,” she affirms, and Valentina bites her lip. She nods though it seems more to herself. 

“He’ll come around, Val. He’d be a total idiot if he let you go,” Juliana continues, and she hopes she doesn’t sound as breathless as she feels. 

Valentina smiles though it seems halfhearted. There’s a wistful look in her eyes and Juliana wishes she knew why it was there. Or maybe she does know, but she’s terrified she’s got it all wrong.

“So, the guy in the picture..” Valentina starts, looking down at her feet. “You like him?” 

Juliana blinks up at her, startled by Valentina’s sudden change of topic. 

She can’t lie. She doesn’t even want to lie. 

“No, I’m not interested in him,” she answers truthfully, and blue eyes dart up to meet her own.

“What, you don’t like hot men?” Valentina counters, raising a perfectly sculpted brow.

“I do.” She shifts under Valentina’s stare, but pushes on because this feels important. “But there is someone else,” she admits quietly, and Valentina frowns, opening her mouth to ask the obvious question, but Juliana cuts through her quickly.

“But the timing isn’t quite right,” she continues, fixing Valentina with a stare that says everything she can’t say out loud. 

She watches Valentina swallow as recognition floods in her eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her full lips. 

“Well, that person is very lucky,” Valentina whispers, blue eyes flaming with something Juliana can’t name. “I hope you can make it work.” 

There’s an implication in her tone that Juliana would be stupid not to catch, feeling a powerful surge of hope in her chest. 

“Maybe someday,” she whispers, and tries to put all of the emotions in her eyes that she isn’t saying and she hopes that Valentina understands.

“Someday,” Valentina echoes and it sounds like a promise.


	17. Part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and I’m sorry it’s been so long between chapters. This is the first part of their kissing scene. I will post the second part in a few days. Again, thanks for all the support and merry Christmas!

Juliana reaches the door of the studio and wipes her damp palms down the sides of her dress, again forgetting that this is expensive fabric, not made for hand wiping. Muted sounds of people talking and laughing are faintly audible, and she quickly glances around the deserted hallway, not ready to face anyone just yet. 

With her heart pounding, she leans back against the cool surface of the wall beside the door and inhales a deep breath through her nose before exhaling slowly through her lips. She allows her eyes to flutter closed for a moment, just a moment, not anything long enough to actually let herself feel panic or anxiety, but enough to let herself pause and take another deep breath. 

It’s only 7:30 in the morning, but she’s already gone through wardrobe, hair and makeup before ending up here, about to shoot Sofia and Valeria’s kissing scene. The writers made some last-minute alterations to the scene, leaving them no time to rehearse the changes, and she can’t decide if she’s grateful or disappointed by it. 

However, the outcome remains the same – she’s about to kiss Valentina, causing her already speeding heart rate to kick up another notch in nervous excitement. 

She knew this day was coming, but now that it’s here, it feels sort of surreal. She seriously doubts her ability to give a good performance, to cope with the situation, because there’s a huge difference between being ready and thinking you’re ready. You can delude yourself into thinking you have it all in your head and the performance will follow effortlessly.. But that’s not how it really works, is it? 

Juliana bites her lip, letting it drag through her teeth, the faint sting grounding her in the moment. It’s only a kiss, she reminds herself, and it’s only acting. I can be professional. We’ll kiss. So what? It happens on movie sets all the time.. Yet how to ignore the drumming inside her chest at that? 

How are you supposed to perform a kissing scene with someone you actually feel attracted to? How do you prevent the attraction from shining out of your face like a beacon, brighter than all the lights illuminating the set?

She never envisioned herself in this situation, the lines between fiction and reality blurring beyond her control. She wants to kiss Valentina, but she wants to be kissed for the real her, not the fake one. She quickly squashes the thought and rubs at her temples, trying to remember the breathing exercises she had mastered at the yoga classes that seem like they were months away. 

She leans her head back against the wall, Alejandro’s words ringing through her mind: “Lose yourself within the character you are portraying; allow yourself to really feel the emotions.” 

But that’s just the thing. She’s terrified of losing control, and the thought of kissing Valentina in front of the entire crew has her stomach in knots. She knows she’s an actress - she knows how to create a role and how to perform it brilliantly - but this is by far the most challenging role she’s ever played in her life, and it’s a hell of a new experience for her. 

It’s only when Juliana loses track of time that she realizes they’ll be waiting for her, and if she doesn’t appear soon, people will start looking. So, reluctantly, she pushes herself away from the wall and sucks in another deep breath through her nostrils. 

I got this, she tells herself, I got this. 

* * *

Valentina is already in the studio when Juliana steps inside, the production team rushing back and forth around set, with nervous young assistants on their heels. The camera crew and other technicians are busy setting up the lights and cameras, and in the center of it all is Valentina. 

Glowing. Gorgeous. 

She’s talking animatedly with a female crewmember and Juliana sees the exact moment that the actress lights up upon meeting her eyes, her lips curving into a dazzling smile, and Juliana is momentarily breathless at the sight. Something hot and overwhelming rises up in her chest, and this time, it has nothing to do with nerves. 

She desperately tries to smooth her face into a mask that gives nothing away, afraid to reveal just how ridiculously attracted she is to Valentina Carvajal, but the actress looks so impossibly stunning that she doesn’t know where to let her gaze rest first. 

She’s wearing the type of expensive dress that Juliana’s only seen in high fashion magazines; and god, her heart is in her throat as she silently takes it all in. The light blue fabric seems molded to fit her gorgeous frame - flowing over the curves of her body and falling just above her knees, showing off her perfect long legs. 

Time seems to slow as Valentina covers the distance between them - graceful, elegant steps, languidly swinging hips, skin glowing in the artificial light. She seems almost ethereal - too beautiful to be of this world, yet too full of life to be of the next - wearing a designer dress with the same comfort most people wear sweatpants.

Juliana doesn’t miss the way Valentina’s eyes wander as she approaches, perfectly shaped lips rising in a private smile just for her. A mixture of emotions ripple through her, like the surface of a perfectly still pond suddenly broken by a stone. She doesn’t know everything she feels but she feels it all at once, narrowing her field of vision to Valentina. 

She watches full lips part, blue sparkling as they continue to take her in, as if equally mesmerized. It sets her skin on fire and makes her fingers tingle. And before she’s even fully aware of it, Valentina stops right in front of her, hitting her senses with her smell, already familiar and just as pleasant as before. Juliana longs to step in closer.

“Hey,” Valentina whispers, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to her flushed cheek. 

The heat of her lips almost burns Juliana’s skin and the sensation makes her flinch slightly, sucking in a shaky breath. Valentina moves back and blue eyes scan her face almost nervously, but when Juliana smiles, the actress relaxes again. 

“You look incredible,” Valentina tells her just above a whisper. 

She keeps her eyes fixed on Juliana’s face, her hand twitching as if she wants to lift it and Juliana holds her breath. She knows the feeling. There’s something about the actress that makes it almost impossible for Juliana not to want to touch her. 

“Thank you,” she says just as softly, bowing her head in recognition of the praise. “So do you.” 

She looks up from under her lashes and Valentina smiles in response, blue eyes vibrant and deep. They study each other for another moment with a quiet sort of awe before Valentina breathes out a small chuckle, making Juliana smile, too. 

“How do you do it?” Valentina shakes her head and gestures vaguely with her hand. “How are you always able to catch me off guard?”

Juliana blinks in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You look…” Valentina starts, long lashes sweeping down and gaze lowering as a faint blush dusts across her cheeks. “Even better than I was prepared for.” 

It’s so wonderfully genuine, so Valentina that it pushes a wide smile to Juliana’s lips, and she ducks her head so that her hair swings in front of her face, disguising the blush that slips across her cheeks.

“Val…” 

She lets the word escape her on a breath, shaking her head at the compliment she doesn’t feel she deserves but unable to suppress the wide smile that threatens to split her face in half. She can’t remember the last time she was like this with anyone, so bashful and unsteady, as if she’s a teenager again. Nor can she remember ever finding anyone so intoxicatingly attractive and charming before.

“No, I’m serious,” Valentina whispers, forcing Juliana’s eyes back up to meet blue ones and it’s very clear the more Juliana looks at her just how serious she is. She can’t even process what Valentina’s saying, what she means. 

“I think I’ve told you before that..” Valentina continues, her eyes sliding down Juliana’s body once again. “It’s just rude. You’re so beautiful, Juls. I mean, look at you..” 

Juliana chuckles bashfully, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth and lowering her lashes. The sound croaks in her throat, though, when Valentina leans closer and whispers, “You’re making me look bad.”

Juliana scoffs and shakes her head at the intent look on Valentina’s face. “Don’t be ridiculous, Val. No one can ever make you look bad.” 

Valentina blinks in surprise at the compliment. Her mouth falls open just a fraction of a second, but then she instantly recovers and Juliana is pretty sure that if she wasn’t so tuned in to everything Valentina Carvajal, she wouldn’t even have noticed. 

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen,” she continues quietly, giving Valentina a quick once-over, and her heart races with the realization that she has just spoken the words aloud. And since it’s too late to take that back, Juliana licks her lips, and says what she has known, felt in her bones, ever since meeting Valentina. “Everyone pales next to you, including me.” 

Valentina’s mouth drops open, eyes flicking up from Juliana’s lips and back down again. She continues to stare at her, silent and intensely and long enough to make Juliana’s cheeks burn ever redder. 

“Now who’s being ridiculous?” Valentina finally whispers, looking at her with an expression that - just jesus, can she not look at her like that? It’s almost as if—

Juliana abruptly closes her eyes, shakes her head and looks away. She can’t bring herself to hope and then get those hopes crushed. Just get a grip, she admonishes herself, if you want to be a professional, you have to look and act like one. 

When another moment passes and she doesn’t say anything, Valentina shifts on her feet. 

“Are you okay?” 

Juliana blinks her eyes back open and watches the way the actress licks her bottom lip, a nervous habit that makes Juliana all too aware of the full curve of it. She forces herself to focus on other things – the blue of Valentina’s eyes, the high arch of her cheekbones – but it doesn’t stop the twisting, squirming feeling in her stomach.

“I’m great,” she says, the relative calm of her voice wholly at odds with the way her heart is hammering in her chest. 

“You sure?” Valentina’s voice is colored with uncertainty. 

Licking her dry lips, Juliana casts a nervous glance around the crowded set. “It’s weird with them here,” she offers, and an awkward chuckle sounds from her mouth, unbidden and entirely without permission. 

Valentina’s eyes soften and a faint smile plays at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, I know,” she affirms quietly, her fingers tentatively reaching out to brush over Juliana’s hand.

The unexpected touch sends a spark of electricity through her, and Juliana unconsciously turns her hand so that their palm slide together, fingers wrapping around an impossibly soft hand. She can’t seem to help herself, can never stop her fingers from inching towards Valentina and curling through hers, as if her heart might stop beating if she doesn’t touch her. 

She chews the inside of her cheek, glancing down at their connected hands. “I’m nervous,” she confesses quietly, rubbing her forehead with her free hand.

“Me too,” Valentina breathes out after a moment, and the small nervous chuckle that she lets out fills Juliana with a sort of relief. 

“We knew it was coming,” she offers, and Valentina nods, a quick dip of her chin. “And besides, it’s not like we haven’t kissed before?” 

She doesn’t know where this sudden bravery is coming from, but she doesn’t care. All that matters is that Valentina seems to relax a little, blue eyes gazing at her with a tenderness so soft it’s almost painful. 

“You’re right.. We’re in this together,” Valentina whispers, and Juliana watches blue eyes dart across her face, skimming her lips a few times and she feels them tingle in response. 

“Are you ready girls?” Alejandro asks as he walks over to them, pulling Juliana’s attention away from the actress. She wonders whether she imagines the fingers tightening around hers just briefly, squeezing as if Valentina doesn’t want to let go.

* * *

“And.. action!”

The magic words. A new energy, a new adrenaline floods through her and it triggers an automatic sort of mental switch, putting her into acting mode. Don’t look at the crew, don’t look at the cameras. Don’t fidget. Speak slowly. Breathe. 

VALERIA  
Can you help me with this?

Valentina throws her a bashful look over her shoulder, long fingers brushing the zipper at the back of her dress, but unable to grab hold of the tab. 

SOFIA  
Yeah, sure.. 

Juliana takes a steadying breath and then starts taking slow steps towards the other girl. Once she’s close enough, Juliana reaches out to brush long strands of hair out of the way, leaving the long column of Valentina’s neck exposed. Her hand lingers, tracing the curve of Valentina’s shoulder, and she has to swallow against the sudden heat skittering through her veins. 

She wills her hand not to tremble when she slowly slides the zipper down, careful not to move too abruptly and ruin the shot. She fights to pull in air when the newly exposed skin comes into view, her gaze tracing the tiny birthmarks marring the girl’s otherwise flawless skin. A line of goosebumps erupts down Valentina’s spine at the caress of Juliana’s fingers, and she almost can’t believe that her touch affects Valentina so strongly, the sight stirring something in her chest.

She slowly releases the zipper and allows her knuckles to brush across the swell of Valentina’s backside before she cautiously presses her palms flat against the smooth flesh on either side of Valentina’s spine. Valentina leans back into the touch and a barely audible hum vibrates in her throat. 

Juliana’s fingers, a shade darker than the skin beneath them, spread out over the silken expanse of Valentina’s back - they move of their own accord along the length of her spine, up across the ridges of her shoulder blades, and back down the long valley of her spine. 

Attuned as they are to each other, it takes little pressure from Juliana’s hands before Valentina steps back into her, bringing their bodies together and they both shiver. Juliana takes a deep inhale of Valentina’s hair, closing her eyes, and the two of them hold there like that, connected and grounded. 

She’s jolted back to the present by a ringing cellphone, and she slowly releases her grip on Valentina, taking a small step away from her. Valentina clears her throat and glances at the cell’s screen before turning to face Juliana, tugging the straps of her dress back into place on her shoulders. The phone finally stops ringing, but Juliana doesn’t stop looking at it, her brow furrowed. 

SOFIA  
Don’t you have to answer that?

She gestures at the phone and Valentina groans, dragging her hand down her face and closing her eyes.

VALERIA  
No, it’s not important. 

Valentina blinks her eyes back open and offers her a wry smile, shrugging her shoulders. 

VALERIA  
He probably just wants to pick another fight.

And with Valentina opposite her, so genuine in her acting, Juliana can feel Sofia rising to the surface and responding. She shakes her head and raises her brows in question, keeping her eyes trained on Valentina. 

SOFIA  
I don’t understand you, Val. Why are you with him?

Her words sound choked up, and Juliana feels Sofia, understands her and her conflict and years for it in places she can’t name. She takes a step closer to Valentina, keeping blue eyes captured with her own, and she pours her meaning and intention into every word she pulls out of her chest.

SOFIA  
Why are you with him when you have me?

She watches Valentina’s eyes widen, her face turning a shade paler. 

“Sof..” Valentina whispers, pressing a hand to her heart before turning them, palms up, in front of her chest. “You’re my best friend.”

Juliana lets out a watery chuckle, shaking her head and burying her hand in her hair.

SOFIA  
Yeah, well.. Maybe that isn’t enough.

Her voice wavers dangerously – an unexpected tear running down her cheek, and Juliana doesn’t know if it’s hers or Sofia’s anymore. Valentina gasps and her face crumbles. And for a split second, she looks genuinely upset, shuffling forward half a step or maybe not even that, almost like she’s tripped or being shoved. 

VALERIA  
What do you mean by that? 

Her voice sounds shaky and her blue eyes watch Juliana vulnerably. Juliana sighs and shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

SOFIA  
I don’t know.. I don’t know how to tell you, Val..

Valentina takes a step closer and reaches out to her, keeping her eyes locked with Juliana’s. For a sliver of a moment before their hands touch, Juliana thinks about how real this conversation actually feels, then their fingers share that shock again and the thought is gone, replaced by a blissful buzzing. Valentina squeezes her hand once before she continues her performance.

VALERIA  
Just try for me..

Juliana shakes her head, biting her lip.

SOFIA  
I don’t know the words.. I feel..

She has to pause, because emotion threatens to boil over. 

SOFIA  
I feel all these things and they’re so intense.. And I want to be around you without second guessing everything.. But I don’t want to scare you away.

Her lower lip quivers and another tear escapes her. Valentina’s eyelids flutter shut in response, as if she’s trying to get the searing image of Juliana’s face out of her mind. 

VALERIA  
You won’t.

And before she knows what’s happening, Valentina sweeps her into a hug, her face naturally fitting into the curve of the other girl’s neck. They remain that way for probably too long, until Valentina slowly pulls herself away from their embrace so she can look Juliana in the eyes. She cups her face like she is something precious, worthy of a gentleness that she never experienced before, and Juliana feels it everywhere.

VALERIA  
You won’t scare me away. Okay?

“And cut!” Alejandro yells, clapping his hand together. “That was amazing, girls!”

Juliana blinks and both realize that they no longer need to be pressed together. Even still, seconds pass before Valentina steps away from her. 

“We really hit the jackpot with you two,” Alejandro praises, a huge smile on his face. “That was an outstanding performance. You either have chemistry or you don’t. And you two seem to sizzle.” 

When Juliana peeks at Valentina from beneath her lashes, Valentina looks just as flustered as Juliana feels. Their eyes connect for a second before Valentina ducks her head, a secret smile hiding at the corners of her lips.


	18. Part 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here’s the second part of their kissing scene. Let me know what you think :) Thanks again for all your comments and kudos. It’s keeping me going.

Juliana uncaps her water bottle and takes a long swig, the cool liquid somewhat soothing her dry throat but offering no relief to the fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach. She can’t recall ever being so nervous before – the tension radiating through her body in waves, reaching her limbs, making her hands tremble and her palms sweat. 

She can feel Valentina’s presence beside her so intensely, it feels like they are touching, though there is at least a foot between them, and she forces herself to concentrate on other things beside the almost magnetic tug that tries to pull her towards the other girl, as if by instinct. 

She squeezes her eyes shut and grits her teeth so hard her blood pounds in her temples, repeating her mantra over and over again: I’m a professional. I can do this. Valentina’s my friend. Nothing more than that. It’s just a kiss. That’s all. The sound of crunching plastic brings her back to the present and she cringes internally, quickly loosening her grip on her water bottle. 

She heaves a deep, calming breath, and straightens up when a makeup artist appears in front of her, pushing her hair into place and reapplying her lipstick. As the woman dabs at her lips, Juliana’s eyes flick to Valentina and she’s surprised to find the girl’s eyes fixated on her mouth as she gets touched up, causing another wave of tingles up her spine. 

“Okay, you’re all set,” a voice cuts through her haze, and Juliana blinks her eyes back into focus. 

The makeup artist takes a step back and nods her head in approval before disappearing almost as quickly as she came. Juliana watches the woman leave and she pointedly ignores Valentina still staring at her, feeling her gaze burning into her skin and making her cheeks glow. She rubs her lips together a few times and places her water bottle on the nearby table, taking another deep and calming breath. 

“Okay. Let’s do this before I lose my nerve,” she only half-jokes, turning to face Valentina again. 

Blue eyes dance in amusement and there’s a small grin playing at the corners of her lips, making that gorgeous dimple reappear, and Juliana curses her body’s reaction again. This is ridiculous. She feels like a lovesick teenager, and it bothers her. She also feels more alive than she has in years, maybe in all her life. 

She quickly ducks her head to hide the blush creeping over her cheeks, biting down fiercely on her bottom lip and clenching her hands into fists at her sides. Valentina chuckles softly in response and moves into her space, gentle hands landing on her shoulders, and Juliana’s eyes flutter closed when long fingers start kneading the tense muscles there.

“Hey, it’ll be fine, Juls. Relax. You’re going to do great,” Valentina assures her softly, prompting her to meet her eyes again, and Juliana lets out shuddering sigh at the intensity she finds there. “You’re overthinking this, and I need you to stop. Let’s just.. let things happen however they happen. Okay?” 

Juliana nods her head, not trusting her voice to remain steady. 

“Shut everything and everyone out, okay? Everyone except me..” Valentina pauses for a moment, blue eyes darting between brown ones. “Just trust me, okay? We’re in this together.. Remember?”

Juliana pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and she has to swallow before she can nod again, unable to break their gaze. Valentina studies her for a moment, slender fingers continuing to move and sending tiny surges of electricity through her. 

“You’re still tensed,” Valentina notes, her brows furrowing ever so slightly.

Juliana knows that the tension in her shoulders has everything to do with the pressure of Valentina’s hands, with the intensity of her gaze, with the prospect of kissing her full, luscious lips. Maybe she just has to pretend that it’s someone else touching her. Someone who doesn’t send electricity coursing through her veins just by looking at her. 

She tries to imagine that the hands on her shoulders are bigger, more masculine, and anything but delicate and gentle. But it doesn’t work, and Valentina looks so genuinely worried that Juliana feels the need to give her a small smile of reassurance

“I’m okay,” she whispers, a little breathless and well aware of the goosebumps covering every inch of her skin. The way Valentina is looking at her, the way she’s standing just inches away, makes her hands twitch at her sides - it’s too easy to reach out and touch her, wrap her arms around her waist and—

“Okay, everyone, take your places!” Alejandro calls out, causing Valentina’s hands to fall away from her shoulders like a teenager who got caught, not two colleagues comforting each other. That’s all this is, Juliana reasons and she feels a long breath of air escape her when intense blue eyes are torn away from her own - the world cooling again and allowing her to compose herself.

She rolls her shoulders and smooths out her dress with both hands, trying to act as calm as possible as she makes her way towards Valeria’s bedroom door. The lights dim around her slightly, enveloping the room in a soft hue, and she watches her own faint shadow stretch across the floor. 

You’re a professional, she tells herself fiercely. Relax. You can do this.

She stops right in front of the bedroom door and turns to face Valentina who stands beside the large and extremely comfy looking bed, seemingly busy with her own thoughts. Juliana watches her eyes close, and her beautiful lips move as if in silent prayer. She can only guess what’s going through her head. That’s all she’s been doing lately, Juliana realizes. Guessing and denying she was guessing. Not knowing exactly what she was hoping for when she did.

“Cameras ready?” Alejandro calls out, causing both actresses to jump a little. “Lights ready? Sound Ready?”

Their eyes lock across the room and Juliana feels a rush of adrenaline coursing through her system, blocking out her surroundings, aware of nothing else but Valentina’s overwhelming presence. The air crackles with new electricity, and Juliana chides herself for the involuntary way her muscles tense in anticipation. 

“Action!”

Allowing instinct to take over, she lowers her gaze and clears her throat.

SOFIA   
I should go.

She slowly turns away from Valentina, and she doesn’t need the tingle at the base of her neck to tell her that the actress is watching her. She grasps the door handle to twist it open when Valentina calls out to her, causing her to freeze in place.

VALERIA  
Sof, wait..

She can hear the other girl approaching - her heels clicking softly on the hardwood floor - and Juliana places her slightly shaking palm against the door, grounding her in the moment. She doesn’t realize her other hand is trembling, too, until Valentina curls her fingers around it, gently prying it away from the handle. 

Inhaling a shaky breath, she carefully turns to face Valentina. And oh, she didn’t realize they’d be standing so close to each other, causing her breath to lock in her lungs. Blue eyes dart over her face, back and forth between her lips and her eyes, and Juliana’s heart skips a beat in panic. 

Valentina’s fingers are too near the pulse point on her wrist. She’s going to know. She’s going to feel the jump in her heart rate. Valentina studies her, and for a moment Juliana thinks she may be able to read the swirling emotions behind her eyes, but if she does, she gives no sign of it. 

VALERIA  
I don’t want you to go. 

Valentina reaches for her face and gently cups her cheek, blue eyes searing into her with an intensity that burns her up inside. She closes her eyes against the feel of Valentina’s fingertip sliding along the sensitive corner of her mouth, then downward to her bottom lip. She pauses there for a moment before softly tracing its curve, gently coaching her lips to part, and Juliana can’t stop herself from pressing a small kiss against the pad of Valentina’s thumb. 

She glances up at the girl through her lashes and it takes a moment longer for Juliana to remember why they’re here - the moment reduced to that singular feeling of Valentina’s touch, her lips tingling and wanting more. Her eyes inevitably drop to Valentina’s mouth, and it takes a concerted effort to force her eyes back up, to refrain from leaning that last remaining inch closer. 

SOFIA  
What are you doing?

Her voice sounds deep and she hopes her breathing doesn’t give her away, desperately fighting the urge to reach out and touch the other girl. Valentina bites her lip, lowering her gaze to follow the movement of her thumb – still tracing the curve of her bottom lip, leaving a burning trail of temptation. 

By the time she lift her gaze again, Juliana has all but stopped breathing. She catches the briefest flash of something deeper and darker in Valentina’s eyes, something that makes her flush warm from her neck down her spine. 

VALERIA  
You know what I’m doing.

Valentina sounds like she’s been holding her breath as well. She takes a moment before stepping even closer, pressing her body gently against hers, and Juliana lets out a soft gasp at that. Valentina’s hand skates up and down her back and it’s making her dangerously weak. 

VALERIA  
Do you ever just let things happen to you?

Valentina is already close enough to feel the words against her lips and Juliana feels a bead of sweat break upon her brow. She doesn’t even try to disguise the shake in her hands as she settles them on Valentina’s hips, meeting glowing blue eyes with her own again and letting the world fade. 

SOFIA  
Maybe..

Slowly, ever so slowly, a smile tugs at Valentina’s lips and she takes a small step away from her, gently tugging at her hand, waiting for Juliana to follow her. Blue eyes never leave her face as Juliana follows her into the room, step by step, until gentle fingers urge her to turn around, stopping when the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed.

She barely has time to note the mischievous twinkle in Valentina’s eyes before gentle hands push her down onto the mattress in a sitting position. She lets out a stunned, breathless chuckle and glances up, only to find herself staring into several inches of cleavage revealed by the low neckline of Valentina dress. 

She drags her gaze back up to where it should be, kicking and screaming the whole journey long. If the glint in her eyes is anything to go by, Valentina’s fully aware of the struggle and revelling in it.

Juliana bites her lip on a shy smile and unconsciously spreads her legs the slightest bit, the hem of her dress scooting a little further up her thighs. And after a short moment, Valentina steps up between her legs, rendering Juliana incapable of doing anything but breathing. And even that is in question, as she struggles to keep it even.

VALERIA  
Stop overthinking things, okay? 

Valentina briefly cups her cheeks before she places her hands onto her shoulders, climbing onto her lap, straddling her, kneeling on either side of her legs so that her height forces Juliana to look up into her eyes. Her gaze is heady, unfocused. Juliana thinks she looks the same. She certainly feels the same. Her lips tingle, she can barely breathe, and Valentina’s face is so, so close. 

“Let’s just enjoy the moment for now,” Valentina murmurs, blue eyes flickering between Juliana’s eyes and lips, and then she’s lowering herself, letting their lower bodies come flush. Juliana’s breath hitches in her throat - hyper-aware of every place their bodies touch, each movement causing a tiny surge of pleasure, like a pulse of electricity. 

She has to tear her eyes away from Valentina’s gaze, but they only drift down to where her hands are gripping the sheets so tightly her knuckles are white, trying to ground herself. Valentina must read the tension in her because she reaches down for Juliana’s hands, gently coaxing her fingers to loosen their grip.

“You’re allowed to touch, you know?” she teases but her voice is gentle and encouraging, taking Juliana’s hands very lightly in her own and guiding them to her hips. 

Valentina catches her bottom lip between her teeth and looks even deeper into Juliana’s eyes, as if wanting to show her the truth of her next words. “I want you to touch me, Sof.”

Juliana’s eyes widen in genuine surprise because the last two lines definitely aren’t scripted. This is all Valentina - improvising, effectively breaking some of the tension, and Juliana feels a wave of gratitude rushing through her. 

There’s something in the other girl’s expression, the gleam of blue eyes in the low light, that seems far too tender, too affectionate for what they’re doing. She can’t quite place a finger on it, but something about her – something in her gaze and her expression, her entire posture – feels real. It feels real, Juliana thinks with a pounding heart, almost scared because it’s too good to be true. 

She swallows under Valentina’s unwavering gaze and her fingers tighten on the girl’s hips for half a second, wanting nothing more than to pull her even closer. She thinks maybe Valentina wants this as badly as she does because in the same moment, Valentina’s hips twitch against hers, both giving a quiet, shuddery gasp at the contact. 

An impossibly soft palm tracks the length of her spine and Juliana struggles to come up with her next line, because they still aren’t using scripted words for the moment. 

“O.. Okay,” she stammers, clearing her throat. “I mean, I want that, too.” 

Valentina smiles softly in response and captures her eyes once again. Are you okay? she asks silently, and Juliana gives her an answering small smile. They hold each other’s gaze for several silent seconds before Valentina closes the few inches between them, leaning their foreheads together. Juliana sucks in a shaky breath and watches her hand venture up to Valentina’s shoulder, lightly brushing her skin before winding in her hair.

“I want you to touch me too, Val,” she whispers, angling her face and brushing the tip of her nose against Valentina’s, feeling the soft expulsion of her breath against her lips. Gentle fingertips glide up and down her back, with just enough contact to raise goosebumps and enhance the sensitivity of her skin, enough to make her body ache for more touch. 

Their eyes lock in the small space between them, and Juliana knows she’s completely unable to hide the effect Valentina has on her. But that’s just the thing. She doesn’t want to hide it at all, she wants Valentina to see everything of her, the ‘real’ her. 

The very air seems to crackle around them and Juliana can’t stop her eyes from drifting down to Valentina’s lips and back up again, conscious of the space between them and how much she wants to close it. She gasps when Valentina does exactly that – blue eyes darkening just the slightest bit before she slowly leans closer, her eyes fluttering shut, their noses nudging. 

And for a half-second Juliana envisions them in a different world, where they’re not actresses, and all of this is real. But then impossibly soft lips claim her own, and Juliana feels herself practically melting into the kiss with every emotion she’s had in the past few hours pushing her forward, seeking some kind of release.

Valentina’s fingers come up to tangle in her hair, keeping her there, keeping her close as their lips slide together in a slow, sensual dance. Juliana opens her mouth slightly to catch Valentina’s sculpted bottom lip between her own, sucking lightly, before moving to her upper lip, revelling in the soft gasp of pleasure escaping Valentina’s lungs. 

The kiss doesn’t last long, ten seconds tops, but Juliana finds herself swaying forward after the kiss ends, the tip of her nose brushing Valentina’s as she chases the contact. Full lips press against her own again, a peck, and then another softer peck, before Valentina finally pulls back. 

Blue eyes - a slightly darker shade than before - search her face, still a little dazed, and Juliana has a hard time remembering what role she’s supposed to be playing in the moment, struggling to calm her breathing.

VALERIA  
Feels good, doesn’t it?

Juliana forces herself to nod, her eyes fixed on Valentina’s slightly swollen lips. She’s addicted to this girl, addicted to her lips and the way they press into hers, slide against her own, in the perfect way, with the right amount of pressure and softness that Juliana always craves. 

VALERIA  
Good things happen if you just let them.

Juliana smiles and allows her eyes to flutter closed, because if she were to look down and see the way Valentina’s body is pressing against hers— 

Quickly collecting herself, she clears her throat and wills herself into action.

SOFIA  
What are we doing, Val? What does it mean?

She opens her eyes and sighs when long fingers come up to her temple to brush away stray strands of hair.

VALERIA  
Why do we have to define it? I like kissing you. 

She hears the careful emphasis on the last word – or maybe that’s just her imagination. Either way, Juliana feels her mouth run dry at the whispered confession, rendered speechless by the intensity in Valentina’s eyes, and all she can do is shiver at the feeling of Valentina’s fingers brushing her skin.

VALERIA  
I like being close to you. I doesn’t need to be more than that. 

Juliana tilts her head slightly to the side, brown eyes darting between blue ones.

SOFIA  
We have to talk, you know? At some point, we have to talk.

Valentina smiles softly and carefully takes her face in her hands, smoothing her thumbs over her cheeks with absolute gentleness. It hits Juliana that she adores this girl. She can’t say it, god, she could never be brave enough to say it, but she’s suddenly overwhelmed and she wants nothing more than to lose herself in Valentina touch. 

VALERIA  
I know.

She only has time to suck in a quick breath before Valentina kisses her again – deeply, tongue sweeping across her lower lip, and Juliana welcomes her eagerly. She reaches up to stroke her hands through Valentina hair, their tongues sliding together, lips crushing against each other, every nerve ending in her body straining toward Valentina. 

They’ve kissed before but this is different. Despite the cameras and crew around, this isn’t just fleeting moments where their mouths connect. This is kissing with intent. The kiss tastes of longing and desperation - and that hunger, the one that scared Juliana and lured her in at the same time is back. Valentina’s kiss burns with it, her entire being is buzzing with it, and Juliana tells herself she must be catching it. 

That’s why she arches her body into Valentina’s, feeling the girl press down more firmly against the hard muscle of her thigh, and it sets her skin on fire with hope and arousal. She gives another experimental push against her and Valentina shudders, pushing back into her movements and Juliana tries to ignore how warm the other girl feels against the bare skin of her thigh. 

It’s like a switch goes off, next. Her hands grow more confident as they caress Valentina’s sides and venture higher, to her back, nails digging in her skin, trailing down her spine to her lower back and smoothing her palms over the curve of Valentina’s perfectly shaped backside, urging her closer. 

She doesn’t know where this confidence is coming from, but she’s definitely not about to question it. Not when that just might be one of the very few things her sanity is holding onto.

It’s instinctive, the way that she shifts her hips to press herself more firmly against Valentina, a moan ripping from the other girl’s throat, a noise that Juliana knows she’ll have daydreams about. Their breasts drag against each other and Juliana swallows every gasp that leaves Valentina’s mouth, their tongues sliding and licking frantically.

She shifts slightly, uncomfortably conscious of the wetness between her legs. A sharp contrast to the dryness of her mouth. God, this was such a bad idea. She cannot be turned on during a scene. She tries to think of unsexy things but the way Valentina leans into her, the way she rocks back and forth, rubbing herself against her, is making it very difficult. 

When Valentina finally breaks their kiss, she rests her forehead against Juliana’s, breathing heavily into the small space between them. There’s a pretty dusting of pink high on her cheeks and her pupils are blown wide. The desire is plain on her face, even more obvious in the weight of her body against Juliana.

“Juls, please..” Valentina mouths the words rather than saying them out loud, but Juliana catches them anyway. Surely it’s only her imagination that Valentina just called her by her actual name… Right? 

But before she can dwell on this thought any longer, Valentina tugs her forward into another kiss, her lips parting under the drag of Valentina’s tongue, and all she can do is sink into it and the heat of Valentina’s body, her hand stroking at her waist to comfort the shivers that have seemed to seize the girl’s body. 

Slender hands thread into her hair with a shaky desperation and the rolling of her hips doesn’t stop, their bodies moving in unison, grinding together, with dangerous intent. She presses her thigh up again and lets the sound of Valentina’s gasps beat a rhythm of insistence between her own legs. 

She’s never been quite so turned on by just making out with someone in her life, and her brain doesn’t know how to function when she can feel the heat between Valentina’s thighs, making her aware of the deep, burning ache between her own legs, her nipples straining against the thin material of her bra. 

“And cut!” Alejandro’s voice booms through the studio, and with one word reality comes crashing down like a bucket of ice water.


	19. Part 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your support! You are the best :) I will post the second part in a few days.

It’s already dark when they leave the studio, the moon casting a glow over the parking lot and throwing long shadows around the vehicles. Juliana’s intensely aware of Valentina walking close beside her, their steps slow and even and their shoulders occasionally brushing. She can still feel the lingering tension between them, making her feel shaky and vaguely light-headed. 

She sneaks glances at the actress every now and then, watching the way the moonlight reflects on her face, revealing the outline of her beautiful, chiseled profile. Her long hair flows freely over her shoulders, her face devoid of any make up and her skin shimmering in the dim light, all soft and smooth and beautiful. 

She can’t help but think Valentina looks amazing even if she’s clearly dressing down. She’s wearing an oversized hoody, skintight black leggings and boots, making her seem so… normal. She doesn’t look like the glamorous, well-known actress Valentina Carvajal. Far from it. People probably wouldn’t even recognize her in this attire unless they’d take a careful, purposeful look at her up close.

She seems deep in thought and Juliana’s eyes follow the girl’s movements as she runs her hand through her hair, brushing her long locks over her right shoulder. Valentina’s fingers never cease to mesmerize her – they’re so long and slender, and-- 

“So,” Valentina speaks up softly, snapping Juliana out of her self-induced trance. “That was…” 

She trails off again, and Juliana looks up to find her with a shy smile on her face, her blue eyes sparkling in the darkness of the night. She gets stuck staring into them for a second before she clears her throat, her stomach fluttering madly. 

“Yeah..” she breathes out with a smile which Valentina returns, their knuckles gently brushing in the small space between them and sending another wave of electricity through her. 

“But we’re okay, right?” Valentina whispers after a silent moment, and Juliana’s brows furrow in confusion, a gut reaction. Valentina flushes in response, and Juliana doesn’t know if she imagines blue eyes flickering down to her lips or not. “I mean, you know, uh, about what happened before.”

Juliana’s heart stops just thinking about it and then restarts, beating twice as fast. Valentina has that look on her face again, that searching kind of look, her eyes longing for… something. Juliana really wishes she knew what exactly. 

She swallows, nods. “Yes, of course we’re okay, Val.” 

Valentina’s lips slip up into a small smile, gentle and relieved, and this time Juliana is definitely not imagining the way blue eyes flicker down to her mouth, once, twice, lingering that second time before Valentina shakes her head and lets out a small laugh.

“Okay, great,” she murmurs, letting out another small laugh, almost nervously this time. 

Juliana grins and looks away, feeling that familiar urge to reach out and touch the other girl. She can do things like that – she knows she can without it coming off as weird. But she holds herself back from doing so, only because she feels a little unsure of how to act these days with Valentina.

“I can’t believe we nailed the scene in one take, though,” Valentina continues, her gaze dancing over Juliana’s face. “I guess we made quite an impression, huh? I mean-- Did you see their faces? I honestly didn’t know whether to feel proud or mortified about it.”

Juliana huffs out a laugh at that as the assistants blushing face flashes in her mind - his jaw on the floor, eyes bulging, and looking on the verge of passing out. 

“We got a little carried away, didn’t we?” Valentina shakes her head with a slightly stunned smile on her face, and Juliana does her best to return her chuckle, though it comes out mostly as a breath. She can still feel the faint press of Valentina’s lips against her own, making her heart soar and her body hum, and she clears her suddenly dry throat. 

“Yeah, I guess we did,” she murmurs, glancing down briefly and wrapping her hands together in front of her. “They really seemed to love it, though.”

Valentina hums softly and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, their eyes locking once more. Juliana can never get quite used to the intensity of the other girl’s gaze - ocean blue eyes, piercing and entrancing in a way that could probably make anyone squirm within eye-contact. She wonders if Valentina knows that she has that kind of effect on people. Surely she must.

“I’m sorry if I was a little too much..” Valentina murmurs quietly, her fingers toying with the ends of her hair. “Before I mean.”

Juliana swallows, recalling the roll of Valentina’s hips against her own, the heat radiating off of her body, those full and skillful lips that will haunt her dreams.. and way too many waking moments as well. Irrational thoughts bubble inside her, and the craving for the girl beside her intensifies – because, god. How can she honestly step away from this, when Valentina is looking at her like she only sees Juliana. 

“You weren’t,” she assures softly, her cheeks prickling with heat. “Not at all.”

Valentina watches her for several silent seconds and it’s sort of like she’s wondering something, but like she’s admiring, too. 

“Well, it’s all your fault, you know?” she finally speaks up again, her mischievous tone pairing with a lip bite that makes Juliana’s stomach flip and her heartbeat flutter. 

“It’s… my fault?” she echoes slowly, confusion etched in her voice.

“Yeah,” Valentina chuckles, and then there’s that muted red coloring her cheeks again, the sight Juliana’s not quite used to, still. “I swear, I’m normally more pulled together than this. But you’re... you’re very distracting.”

Juliana gulps and a single disbelieving laugh punches out of her throat, unsure of how to respond to that. Blue eyes drift down her body before capturing her own once again, and she raises her brow in question. 

“Your face…” Valentina clarifies, gesturing vaguely towards her. “Your smile, your scent... Everything about you is distracting, Juls.”

Juliana blinks and stays silent, mostly because her mind is having a difficult time figuring out what Valentina means by that. She’s trying very hard not to get ahead of herself, but her heart starts to race anyway and her stomach tumbles so hard she feels nauseous, and all the while Valentina is looking at her with the softest eyes.

“And your lips..” Valentina continues, her voice breaking into a soft, almost disbelieving chuckle. “God, they’re so soft.”

Blue eyes, focused on her mouth, widen as they raise to meet her gaze and match her surprise, as if Valentina doesn’t quite know what she said either, and she lets out a bit of a snort-laugh only to quickly cover it up with her hand, eyes wide. 

That brings an unbidden smile to Juliana’s face as well, and her chest starts to flutter so intensely she feels like she can’t breathe again. Just like always, with Valentina, she feels so many things at once, and she doesn’t quite know how to handle them. 

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Valentina murmurs, voice a little higher than her usual octave. Juliana watches the way she traps her lower lip between her teeth as her hand slowly moves away from her mouth to toy with the ends of her hair once again. 

“I think you might have.. well, ruined me,” Valentina continues, leaning slightly closer with a ridiculous attractive smirk on her face. “I hope you know that.”

Many seconds pass, and Juliana knows at this point she’s just blatantly gaping at Valentina. She wonders what’s going on in the other girl’s mind – when she’s being flirty and regarding Juliana with that special kind of look no one else gets from her. It’s confusing, the blurred lines and deceiving thoughts, and she glances down briefly. 

“Val..” she manages to croak out, shaking her head slightly. She lifts her eyes again and blue ones are there, waiting for her. “What are you talking about?” 

Valentina breathes out a laugh, one that almost sounds like a sigh. “It’s just..” she trails off, her hands flying in the air and a stunning smile marring her features. “You’ve set the bar up so high for.. you know..”

Juliana frowns in confusion and waits for Valentina to finish her sentence, unsure how to interpret her words without making a major assumption. 

“I guess I’ll have to find a way to deal with disappointment from now on,” Valentina teases, her gaze hot on Juliana’s face. “Both personally and professionally.” 

Juliana lets out a quiet, shaky breath and sways a little on her feet, completely taken off-guard by Valentina’s statement. She’s clearly teasing, but there’s something in her eyes Juliana can’t quite put her finger on, and not for the first time she’s left off wondering, curious, hopeful. She bites her lower lip, fighting a bashful smile that wants to spread across her face.

“It’s true, you know?” Valentina whispers, and Juliana can feel the back of Valentina’s hand just barely grace hers for a second. She doesn’t have a response to that, doesn’t know what she could possibly say, and they watch each other for a moment, the smile on Valentina’s face slowly fading as the silence grows.

“Oh god,” Valentina suddenly breathes out, a delicate flush staining her cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m totally making you uncomfortable,” she stumbles over her words, reaching up to rest her palm against her forehead. “I know all this must sound really weird coming from me. Just forget what I said, okay?” 

She scrunches up her nose and the sight makes Juliana smile, charmed by the way Valentina turns from confident superstar to shy, pretty girl in seconds. She knows she won’t be able to forget, won’t be able to stop wondering about the true meaning of her words, but she isn’t brave enough to ask Valentina to elaborate. 

So instead, she finds herself whispering “sure”, and Valentina laughs on a visible sigh of relief, her dimples appearing prettily. 

They walk in silence for a moment, and Juliana can’t stop her eyes from drifting back to the other girl’s face. She’s so, so beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful; from her smile to her heart, from the way she talks to the way she laughs, and Juliana rolls her shoulders to try and shake off the fluttery feeling in her stomach. 

Valentina seems to notice her staring then – always so perceptive, always so in tune with each other, and they share a shy smile, their shoulders brushing together briefly.

“Anyway, I was wondering…” Valentina speaks up again, softly, blue eyes meeting brown ones. “I’m meeting my brother and a few friends in the city tonight. You should come.” 

Juliana’s mouth drops open slightly and she stammers for an answer to that question, an invitation so light and airy it could be carried away on the breeze. Her first reaction is to laugh it off, because Valentina can’t possibly be serious.

“Tonight?” she chokes out, and Juliana tries not to attach too much significance to the fact that Valentina’s apparently willing to introduce her to her social circle. But at the same time, Valentina just kind of invited her to meet her brother and friends. In public. Where they might be seen together. 

Valentina swallows visibly and gives a short nod. “Yeah, I mean.. Don’t feel, like, obligated,” she murmurs, her fingers twisting together in front of her for a moment before she untangles them and reaches up to run her hand through her hair. “You’ve been here with me all day, you’re probably tired of me.” 

Juliana blinks. Is that what she took that as?

Blue eyes are wrapped in uncertainty, but there’s something else there too, something just below the surface, and it has been flitting there just out of sight for the entirety of the day, appearing when Valentina looks up to meet her eyes. Juliana wants it, whatever it is, and so she reaches for it.

“Is that your way of saying you want me there?” she whispers, stepping in front of Valentina and effectively halting her. She knows she’s shamelessly flirting, and Juliana can practically hear the way the two of them smack against the invisible outer boundary of professionalism. 

A soft, breathy laugh falls from Valentina’s lips - blue eyes growing intense in a way that makes Juliana’s stomach jittery and giddy with want and so much more. She bites her lip to contain the nearly irresistible urge to press in closer to the heat Valentina’s giving off. This was so much easier to handle when she didn’t know what she was missing out on. 

“Maybe,” Valentina murmurs, swallowing hard as her eyes trace over Juliana’s features. 

The air seems to shift around them. It’s still heavy, but with a different kind of tension – the one Juliana needs. So she presses on. 

“Yeah?” Dangerous territory, but she doesn’t hesitate. “And why is that?” 

The teasing escapes her far too easily, and it might be a bad idea but with the way she feels right now, she could face any consequences without faltering. 

Blue eyes darken slightly and Juliana watches the way full lips part on a shaky breath. She tries not to look at those plump lips, but it’s a genuine struggle. Perhaps she kind of really, really wants to kiss them again. The flirting isn’t helping. Not at all. Because she’s an idiot, and she’s an idiot that can’t help but be so into it. 

There’s a lock of hair framing Valentina’s face, and she doesn’t hesitate as she reaches out and gently, slowly pushes it behind her ear. Moving her fingers, she takes pride at the shiver that goes through the actress when she brushes her fingertips from Valentina’s cheek, down the side of her neck, over her shoulder. 

See, this is the problem, Juliana thinks. She is allowed to be like this with Valentina because Valentina likes it; she’s inviting, affectionate, cuddly, and Juliana isn’t sure what to do with herself now that she knows she can do these things with Valentina. 

There’s a physical intimacy between them in all kinds of non-platonic ways, and boundaries are continually tested and Juliana allows it all to happen. Allows the walls shake and crumple, the lines softening and clouding beyond repair.

“Honestly,” Valentina licks her lips, her eyes falling to Juliana’s mouth briefly and cheeks reddening when they move up to meet her gaze once again. “I don’t know.. I guess I just love your company.”

Juliana arches a brow, a hint of a smile at her lips. “Oh?”

“But I totally get it if you don’t want to come,” Valentina hurries to add. She’s all nerves, drinking in Juliana’s face while lines of worry slowly crease her forehead. Her eyes are alert and Juliana notes a hint of panic flashing through them – as if she would ever reject her. 

“Val,” she whispers, smiling softly in reassurance and reaching out to touch Valentina’s arm briefly. “I’d love to come tonight.” 

Pure joy seems to rush over Valentina at that, and she laughs. It’s a soft sound, more of a sudden sigh of relief than anything, the tension from her shoulders visibly disappearing. 

“You do?” Her voice is so hopeful and nervous in equal measures. And all Juliana wants is to show Valentina how much she wants to. 

“Yeah, I want to,” she affirms, the words coming out sultrier than she intended if the sudden widening of Valentina’s eyes is any indication.

“Yeah?” Valentina echoes, pressing her teeth into her bottom lip, and her answering smile is unmistakably flirtatious. “Okay. Good.. Great.” 

Valentina blinks slowly, and it’s moments like these that sends Juliana reeling. Moments like these, she thinks that there might be something about Valentina, something that Valentina feels for her. Blue eyes gaze at her in a certain kind of way that feeds Juliana with hope and possibilities, and her breath catches in her throat when Valentina steps even closer to her. 

Juliana can’t really tell if she’s going to hug her - or kiss her? - so a mix of anticipation and nervousness bubbles in her chest. Blue eyes sear into her hers, vibrant and deep, and she tries to make sense of the look Valentina’s giving her. She licks her lips without thinking, and Valentina’s eyes flicker down once again.

Both her hands land on Juliana’s shoulders before she leans in to place a kiss on her cheek, but Juliana’s head makes a small movement and Valentina’s lips end up landing on the corner of her mouth instead of her cheek, and Juliana lets out a quiet, quivering exhale at that. 

Valentina pulls back sharply, her hands hovering in the air between them. “Sorry,” she chokes out, gazing up into Juliana’s equally wide eyes. 

Juliana tries to clear her throat, her heartbeat thudding heavily in her chest. “Don’t be,” she manages to say, forcing a small smile to her lips. “You just caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

Valentina bites down on her lip, clearly contemplating something. Her eyes never stray away from Juliana’s; and in the ocean blue, she sees the exact same mix of desire and panic that resides in her chest. 

“Juls..” Valentina whispers, looking around briefly before she grabs for Juliana’s hand and pulls her between two parked cars and slightly out of view. 

Juliana blinks up at her in confusion, and god, Valentina’s so close. She’s so close Juliana can smell her, can almost taste her, and she can’t stop herself from deeply breathing in, savoring her scent, fresh and familiar and just as intoxicating as before. 

The seconds start to drag out, but she doesn’t step back, and the intensity of Valentina’s gaze doesn’t falter. Then Valentina sways, or Juliana sways. She doesn’t know. Just that meet in a tight hug, melting against each other, automatically, like it’s instinctive to wrap their arms around one another. Juliana closes her eyes and clenches her hands in the fabric of Valentina’s hoody to ground herself. 

She swears she feels feather light kisses being pressed to her neck, and she can’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe Valentina feels the same way about her. It’s frightening, and ridiculous, and awfully dangerous, but Juliana can’t help it. 

She shifts closer, and now there’s no mistaking it – Valentina’s definitely kissing her neck. She should stop her, but Valentina’s lips feel so good against her sensitive skin and frankly, she doesn’t want her to stop. 

She tilts her head slightly, intending to give Valentina more space to kiss, but her mouth starts to travel up her jaw and Juliana can’t help it – she angles her face to press their cheeks together, satiny soft skin brushing back and forth against her own, a shuddering sigh escaping her lips. 

“We shouldn’t,” Valentina whispers near her ear, and even with the hesitation in her voice, her hands run up and down Juliana’s back with intention and it’s making her dangerously weak. 

They really, really shouldn’t do this. Especially out in the open. That would be too intimate in its own right, and doing that would mean something. It would be an acknowledgement to something, as well as breaking a new boundary. 

It’s the point of no return. 

Juliana knows they’re about to cross a very serious line, but she has trouble finding the voice of reason in her mind, the one that is telling her to stop, stop while you still can, stop before it’s too late. It’s the part that manages to speak even though her hands are already pulling Valentina closer.

“No, we shouldn’t,” and she almost doesn’t recognize her own voice, so raspy and low. 

Valentina pulls back slightly to look at her, wide blue eyes darting between her own, and the intensity of her gaze makes Juliana shudder. The moment grows, taut like a piece of elastic that’s going to crack and snap in her face at any second.

“But I want to,” Valentina whispers, shy but sure, and Juliana’s heart threatens to jump out of her chest.


	20. Part 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story and thank you to everyone who’s commented and left kudos. It means the world to me that so many of you take the time to share your thoughts. Here’s another extra long chapter, I hope you like it.

Valentina pulls back slightly to look at her, wide blue eyes darting between her own, and the intensity of her gaze makes Juliana shudder. The moment grows, taut like a piece of elastic that’s going to crack and snap in her face at any second.

“But I want to,” Valentina whispers, shy but sure, and Juliana’s heart threatens to jump out of her chest. 

For a moment, all she can do is blink, frozen and barely breathing, an overwhelming amount of conflicting emotions flowing through her. And all the while, blue eyes keep staring back at her with such devastatingly gentle longing that Juliana has to force herself to draw in a shaky breath, feeling incredibly light-headed. 

“You, um – what?” she manages to choke out, unblinking, and shakes her head. She must have heard her wrong. Valentina doesn’t even like women.. like that. So she couldn’t possibly have just said that she wants to continue whatever it is they’re doing. 

Could she? 

But Valentina keeps looking at her like she doesn’t want to look at anyone else ever again, making Juliana question everything she thought she knew about the actress. 

Long, glossy locks fall over her left shoulder as Valentina tilts her head slightly to the side, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, and Juliana can’t look away from her for even a moment, standing at the edge of a line they can’t cross.

“You still have no idea what you’re doing to me, do you?” Valentina murmurs in a soft, intimate voice that Juliana’s body reacts to, and she unfreezes at once. A soft, strangled sound tumbles from her lips, overwhelmed by the sudden force of her own emotions. Emotions she’s never felt for another person, let alone a woman. 

She kind of wants to laugh, kind of wants to cry, kind of wants to throw her arms around Valentina and kiss her. She doesn’t do any of those things, though, because she’s still reeling from the confession, from finding that she’s not been the only one struggling like this.

“Val..” she breathes out, glancing down and smoothing her brow with a shaky finger. 

She inhales shallowly when Valentina gently guides her chin up with her fingertips, urging her gaze back up. Blue eyes are wide when she finally meets them, and the sheer awe and hope in them renders her incapable of moving, trapped in this confusing, floaty in-between, where she can let herself pretend than she and Valentina are more than… whatever they are. 

There’s something unspoken in the way they’re looking at each other, and there has been, she realises, every time they’ve shared a moment like this. Valentina’s gaze drifts down from her eyes to linger on her lips, sending electric sparks through her body, and it looks like she wants to say something; but she doesn’t, not verbally, anyway. 

Instead, slowly, achingly slowly, she inches closer, gently cradling Juliana’s face between her hands and leaning their foreheads together. Juliana feels the slow exhale Valentina lets out, warm breath ghosting across her lips, and her knees buckle ever so slightly in response. 

She tries to ignore the voice in the back of her mind telling her to move away, to fight the nearly irresistible pull towards the other girl, focusing instead on her body – a mix of nerves and anticipation pulsing through her veins, all her nerve endings glowing and on fire, and she tightens her grip on Valentina’s hips to ground herself.

Blue eyes search her face, watching and waiting for any sign of hesitation, giving Juliana all the time to pull back or away from her, before Valentina closes the last few remaining inches between them, gently capturing her slightly parted lips with her own. 

And for a short, startled second Juliana thinks it’s a mistake – a wonderful, great mistake – but then Valentina’s palm moves to cradle her jaw, delicate and slightly trembling fingers splaying across her neck, and her lips are moving, soft and careful, a little like she’s in disbelief, too. 

A soft whimper escapes Juliana and she grasps at Valentina’s hoody, needing to know that this is real. Not a dream or a fantasy. Real. She’s shaking a little, tiny shivers like she’s cold, but she’s not. Just so, so overwhelmed.

Valentina kisses her slowly and tenderly like this is the first time, which it both is and isn’t, gently prying her lips apart with her own. It’s innocent. No tongue, just the soft presses of their lips. And as soon as Juliana leans in more, pushes deeper, makes it absolutely clear that she isn’t going anywhere, Valentina seems to lose her inhibitions. 

She tilts her head and deepens the kiss, one arm wrapping around Juliana’s waist and pulling their bodies flush together. Juliana shudders at the sensation, the soft collision of their breasts, and she opens her mouth to welcome the enticing stokes of Valentina’s tongue.

Everything about this is kind of crazy, and exciting, and reckless, but mostly it’s frightening – oh god, she kissing Valentina Carvajal, and they’re wrapped in each other in a way Juliana had never thought would happen ever – at least not in real life. 

It’s deeply hot, it’s sensuous, and she’s almost desperately chasing her when Valentina pulls back for a moment. With both of her hands on the sides of Juliana’s face now, Valentina looks at her for a second, like she’s proving to herself that this is real.

“Juls,” she breathes shakily against her lips, and to silence her, Juliana leans in and captures her lips again. She nearly whimpers at her own lack of control and at the way Valentina immediately allows her access, mouths open and tongues sliding against one another.

They really shouldn’t be doing these kind of things, and Juliana knows this probably won’t last, so she holds Valentina closer, slips a hand to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss before either of them gets the chance to say anything. Before she’s gone, this is gone. 

Even if this is all she gets to have, she wants to remember this moment forever. This feeling like they’re in this thing together, like it’s not just her falling too far and failing to catch herself. 

She’s in too deep. She knows it. She has been since that first table read with Valentina – when those stunning, blue eyes met her own and those full lips quirked up into the first genuine smile that’d ever been turned Juliana’s way. 

She’s in too deep, but she can’t stop herself from falling even deeper, kissing Valentina back with every ounce of longing she’d been suppressing for so many weeks. And the rightness that unfurls within her is so intense that she almost doesn’t notice that they’re moving. 

It’s only when Valentina gently pushes her back against a car, sliding her hand from her face down along her neck, lower to her collarbone, and then down, down, until caressing the top of her breast, that Juliana’s mind grows stronger than her heart, screaming at her to stop before they are bound to make a mistake. 

A mistake even bigger than the one they’re already making. One Juliana knows they can’t come back from. They can only go forward or it all ends here and then there’s a thought that scares her more than anything – she is not willing to lose Valentina, and her voice rises in her throat before she’s quite aware of it. 

“Val, wait,” she breathes out, breaking the kiss and half cursing herself for stopping. 

There are too many thoughts and feelings making her head spin, and she needs some time to make sense of it all. Valentina pulls back immediately, eyes dazed and lips parted, hands flying off Juliana’s body to hover awkwardly in the air. 

“We should.. we should probably slow down,” she murmurs quietly, and watches Valentina watch her, chest still heaving with breath. Watches her bite her lower lip and gazing down at her lips, still looking every bit of dazed. 

For a second Juliana thinks Valentina’s going to close the gap again until she blinks her eyes back into focus, swallowing visibly. “Do you not want to do this?” 

Her voice sounds so impossibly small, so unsure and hesitant that Juliana feels her heart drop painfully. 

“No, no, Val. I do,” she rushes to reply with a shake of her head. “I just--” Her lips continue to move silently, but the words won’t come out. Once she says them, there’s no taking it back. 

Her silence must read something else entirely because a look of pure shock spreads across Valentina’s features, and Juliana watches the exact seconds that realization finally catches up with her. 

Valentina reaches up to touch her slightly swollen lips with an expression of stricken disbelief, like she can’t believe she just did that. Like she didn’t just kiss Juliana senseless. Which is.. understandable. Juliana can’t quite believe it either - a part of her is ready to believe that it had never happened. But it had felt far too real, far too intense to be something her mind had conjured up in its own. 

And before she can say much of anything, much less articulate her deeper and more conflicting emotions, Valentina takes a step away from her, burying her hands in her hair. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” she chokes out, her voice catching just slightly. “I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.” 

Juliana blinks once, twice, shaking her head frantically, because the last thing she wants is for Valentina to think that she’s done something wrong. It’s all on her and her confusing feelings, and for the thousandth time Juliana wishes she knew how to squish her feelings down.

Every part of her wants to pull Valentina into a hug and tell her it’s okay. That’s it’s going to be, but she really doesn’t know if it will be. And before she can utter a word, Valentina speaks up again. 

“I don’t know what came over me. I’m really sorry, Juls.” There’s a slight desperation to her eyes, an awkwardness in the way her hands clasp and unclasp. “I hope you know that I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I know I messed up, and I… god, I feel like such a fool.”

Juliana’s mind clears, fast and scared. Oh, but how wrong she is. It kills her to hear the apology in Valentina’s voice because she doesn’t regret any of this, anything with Valentina. 

“No, Val,” she manages to get out, waiting until Valentina looks up at her. “Stop assuming things. It’s okay. Really.”

But Valentina’s already made up her mind, it seems. She shakes her head no, eyes wide and almost innocent in their childlike fear. It’s the first time she sees Valentina looking visibly out of her depth, and Juliana feels a pang in her chest, sharp and unpleasant.

“It’s alright,” she repeats, but a helpless, slightly frustrated look flits over Valentina’s features, as though she isn’t sure how things got so far off track when they were making out only minutes ago. 

“I’m such a mess,” Valentina chokes out, almost laughing now in a frantic sort of way. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me.”

Juliana shakes her head, desperately trying to find the right words to say. She wishes she has a script to read off of, some past experience to go by, but there’s nothing. It’s not a conversation she ever pictured herself having, not with a woman at least. So she goes quiet, and the two of them paint a perfect picture of discomfort. 

Valentina inhales shakily and it looks like it takes some effort; her chest stutters a little as it rises and falls and Juliana only just then notices the slight watery sheen to her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Juls,” she whispers, almost looking panicked now. “I’m so sorry.. I really need to go.”

Juliana’s heart breaks at the look in Valentina’s eyes and she sways a little of her feet, pulled out of her head and into the present moment. She can’t lose her. Right now, when she’s on the brink of exactly that, the realization is strikingly clear. She can’t lose her. When Valentina starts moving away, Juliana catches her by the hand quickly. 

“Val, wait,” she chokes out, jostling Valentina out of her inner panic. She’s not really sure what she’s doing, but she just can’t let Valentina walk away like this. “Will you please hold on? Why are you apologizing?” 

Blue eyes glance down to the contact, then finally moving up to meet Juliana’s eyes again, who’s still not quite sure what she wants to do next. She takes another small step forward, careful, afraid of scaring Valentina away. She squeezes Valentina’s slightly shaking hand, and Valentina squeezes back, inhaling sharply as she seems to consider the best way to answer Juliana’s question.

“I had no right to kiss you like that,” she finally whispers, glancing up at her through her lashes. “I didn’t even try to... ask you if it was okay. And I never meant to jeopardize our friendship. Can you please forgive me?” 

“Oh, Val, no.” Juliana shakes her head, and Valentina’s hand in hers twitches, but stays put. “There’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Valentina looks pained. Aching. Like she wants to lean into what Juliana is saying, but for some reason she can’t. Juliana’s not sure how long they stand there, eyes meeting and darting away, but then Valentina gently draws her hand out of hers, reaching up to bury her fingers in her hair as if she doesn’t know what else to do with them.

“I um-- I’m usually better at controlling myself.” It’s soft and shy, and Valentina gives a tiny, self-conscious shrug, glancing down briefly. “Not when it comes to you, apparently.”

Juliana bites her lip and digs her nails into her palms so hard it hurts, very aware of the way Valentina’s body hovers just out of reach. It makes her feel slightly off-kilter, like she can’t quite find her footing. 

“What…” she begins, but never finishes. 

The end of her sentence could go in at least three different directions, and she doesn’t know which one to pick. Because none of this makes sense. Valentina already has a boyfriend, and while their relationship may not be perfect, she still has a certain responsibility to him. 

She tells herself that the whole thing is silly. That the two of them are just friends and that she has no claim to any part of what they could have been in another world. She isn’t about to burden Valentina over some one-sided feelings. Valentina never signed up for that. 

She can’t be honest with the actress when the consequence of that would mean the probable destruction of their friendship. Worries that, if she does, it will make it that much more real. Make her that much more vulnerable. But Valentina’s been so honest and sincere, that Juliana can’t bring herself to lie. So she settles for the truth. But for a different one. 

“What if anyone catches us?” she whispers, glancing around the deserted parking lot. They’re still mostly hidden from view between two parked cars, and she hurries to add, “I mean, the press or.. I don’t know, security cameras?” 

Valentina blinks, and she looks at Juliana for seconds that seem to stretch into eternity. Blue eyes flick down to her lips, and it takes Valentina a second to lift them again, clearing her throat. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” She sounds nervous, like she’s trying to convince herself as much as Juliana. “We wouldn’t want that.” 

“No, we don’t,” Juliana replies, just as quiet. Blue eyes are still careful as they study her, but Valentina seems to relax, and Juliana breathes with relief. 

She watches a small, shy smile settling on Valentina’s lips, and she isn’t even surprised with the urge to kiss her again. But there is an upsetting realization that she wants Valentina for something far more than that. Something she can’t have, because they only have a few months left before Valentina moves on with her life, with Jason, and never looks back. 

Her stomach clenches uncomfortably in response, and she glances away briefly before meeting Valentina’s eyes once more. “Look, you know what?” She’s not sure what she’s going to say until she’s saying it, and it catches them both off-guard. “Why don’t we just forget it?” 

She’s giving Valentina an out, an opportunity to just wave it off. But that’s obviously not what Valentina wants in this moment, because her head snaps up so quickly Juliana jumps a little, her eyes wide with something akin to disbelief.

“I don’t want to forget,” Valentina says, and her confidence at the admission is almost as shocking as the admission itself. 

Blue eyes burn into her own and Juliana releases the breath she was apparently holding. There’s this sense of completely unwarranted hope that’s beginning to blossom, spreading warmth up her spine and straight into her head, making her feel even more light-headed. 

What if she’s reading too much into it? What if she’s just seeing what she wants to see? Valentina is, after all, straight. But a few months ago, that was one thing she knew about herself for certain, too. 

She isn’t sure what to think anymore – about this and them, and if she should even think about it at all. When it gets confusing, she can always rope herself back into thinking it doesn’t mean anything. Even if it feels like it does, right now. 

“I think it’s best if we do,” she whispers, even though she knows she won’t forget it herself. 

For reasons she doesn’t understand, she sounds completely calm. Put together, even. But she isn’t. And neither is Valentina as Juliana watches her face fall - the disappointment shadowing her eyes and making her shoulders slump just a fraction. It makes her feel awful, but she can’t allow herself to get her hopes up. 

The buzzing silence of the parking lot – just the distant sound of traffic on a nearby street – is deafening, and the weight of the silence threatens to push Juliana through the ground, which she would honestly appreciate at this point.

It’s just the two of them standing there, being who they can be in that moment. Juliana’s chest feel sore from her heart being tugged back and forth for different reasons. Reasons that she doesn’t dare to voice. 

“Maybe you’re right,” Valentina finally murmurs, and it’s a little shaky, but her voice grows stronger as she continues to speak. “But I’m not sure if I can… I don’t think I could ever forget anything about you, Juls.”

The confession almost knocks Juliana off balance and she can feel her heart hammering hard against her ribs; can hear her pulse throbbing in her ears. 

“Val..” she breathes out as her thoughts take their own way, but each beat of her heart tells her something else. “We can’t risk it.” 

Valentina frowns. “But Juls—“

“No, Val, we can’t,” she cuts her off, and the sudden intrusion makes the actress freeze for a moment. Then she reaches up to rest her palm against her forehead, and Juliana watches her bite her lip, as if gathering her thoughts. 

After another quiet moment Valentina whispers in a way that sounds final and resigned, “I know.” 

It seems like this should be the end of it, but Valentina is still giving her that look, the one that says she’s working up to something else, the one that has Juliana anchored in place, transfixed. 

“Juls, look,” Valentina speaks up again, her voice careful, and her eyes flitting between Juliana’s. “This um, friendship, means everything to me. And I’m sorry for making things weird between us.”

Juliana shakes her head lightly, stepping closer and reaching out to wrap her fingers around the fine bones of Valentina’s wrist. 

“Hey,” she whispers, and blue eyes are still guarded. A little embarrassed, too. Juliana hates that she’s made her feel this way. “Did I give you the impression that I didn’t want it?” 

Valentina’s eyes widen a bit, as if to take in what Juliana just asked, lips parting gently. Juliana chews the inside of her cheek for a moment because she knows that she shouldn’t; but Valentina, looking ethereal with the moonlight illuminating her face from above, somehow draws out the truth in her. Has her admitting things she shouldn’t. 

“I feel like you’re forgetting I kissed you back, Val,” she points out, rubbing her thumb across the delicate skin of Valentina’s wrist, her pulse steady and true beneath her touch. “And I feel like you have no idea how badly I do.”

A whole slew of emotions run across Valentina’s face in a matter of seconds, too quick to decipher. Melt into a smile – something small and beautiful, something sad, something that punches the breath right out of Juliana’s lungs. 

“So, you..” Valentina’s voice trails off, and Juliana can see uncertainty seeping into her expression. She realizes that she’s shown Valentina, in dozens of small ways - from kissing her to telling her to stop, to forget it ever happened - that she should be uncertain. 

“I liked it,” Juliana assures with an emphasis, smiling softly. 

“Yeah?” Valentina whispers, like she just needs another confirmation. Just one more piece of truth before she lets herself believe it. 

Juliana nods, and squeezes Valentina’s wrist gently to show her sincerity. “Just because I stopped us, it doesn’t mean I didn’t want it or like it.”

Valentina studies her for a silent moment, looking at her in a way she cannot really describe. There’s a kind of intensity in her eyes as she reaches up to play with a lock of Juliana’s hair, following the movement with her eyes like it’s something fascinating. Juliana lets her, doesn’t know how not to, doesn’t want her to stop.

She takes an uneven breath and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, her earlier words ‘we can’t risk it’ fading into the background of her mind. She’s hyperaware of the way Valentina’s hand brushes against her collarbone with each movement before she reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, her fingers trembling.

Blue eyes never leave hers, and Valentina doesn’t stop there - her thumb moves to trace gently behind Juliana’s ear, and down her hair to the nape of her neck. Juliana shivers, her whole body thrumming wild and alive at Valentina’s touch. 

It strikes her that this look on Valentina’s face has become familiar, her eyes half-lidded and flitting down to her mouth, and suddenly she has no idea how to be with Valentina now that they’re.. whatever they are.

She’s stuck in this limbo between knowing the right thing to do but actually wanting the opposite. And it doesn’t help that Valentina keeps looking at her like she’s hung the moon. Like she’s keeping the stars all up on her own. 

She doesn’t know where they stand. The lingering touches, longing looks.. She wants to ask her what this means, if anything, remind her she’s having a boyfriend. 

“Why are you looking at me like that, Val?” she finds herself blurting out before she can stop herself, and Valentina blinks at her in confusion.

“Like what?” she whispers, slowly withdrawing her hand. 

Juliana shakes her head and there’s a lump in her throat that makes it difficult to swallow. She clears her throat, but it doesn’t go away, so all she can do is hope that Valentina doesn’t hear it. 

“Like, you know. That.”

Valentina frowns and searches her face for an answer. An answer Juliana can’t immediately formulate. It’s too big of a conversation for right now, or ever, but apparently they’re having it. 

Then words spill out of her mouth – way too fast, coming out like a blurt. “You say and do these things.. And the way you look at me.. Is it unintentional?”

At the bluntness of the question, Valentina’s eyes open even wider. Her lips are parted and it looks like she has stopped breathing all together. Juliana thinks she’s probably not doing a great job at keeping a straight face right now, so she averts her gaze to someplace safer to gather herself. 

She has no idea of how Valentina feels about her. Maybe she really does not know. Or maybe she just really needs confirmation.

“I’m just so confused , Val.. I don’t know what it means. Is it--” She cuts herself off, hesitates, then goes all in. “Is it just an act? Are you trying to get a reaction out of me?” 

She doesn’t know what hurts more – the phrase or the way Valentina recoils from it, a flare of hurt flashing through her eyes. It’s not an expression Juliana has seen her wear before, and her stomach stirs uncomfortably.

“Is that.. is that really what you think?” The words are whispered, vulnerable, horrified, afraid. Afraid of what it means, and Juliana heart twists in her chest.

She doesn’t know what she’s thinking or feeling or what she believes and she curses everything that’s making it hard to latch onto a single coherent thought. Valentina seems to gather a resolve of some sort and nods, seemingly to herself. A small self-deprecating smile on her face as she looks down, eyes shining. 

“Do you really think I’d do that to you? That this is all just a game to me?” She releases an awkward and slightly bitter laugh, burying her hands in her hair. “I can’t believe this.. You give me way too much credit, Juliana. I’m not that good of an actress.” 

Juliana can feel the color drain from her face, and her heart is painfully missing a beat. Guilt washes over her and she’s suddenly nauseous with it.

“No, Val, that’s not--“ she pauses, takes a shaky breath. “That’s not it at all.” 

Juliana sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. She honestly didn’t think this was going to go this direction, arguing with Valentina over her own emotions. Running a hand through her hair with trembling fingers, she continues, “It’s just…”

“Just what?” Valentina whispers. 

Her eyes look pleading, and Juliana’s chest aches. She’s hurting Valentina, and that’s the last thing she wants. But she doesn’t know what to say; she’s torn between two roads that lead to very different resolutions. By all means, she’s not hesitant about how she feels for Valentina. She knows how she feels, but admitting it out loud is something entirely different. 

Their friendship is just this: a constant blur. Blurry ever since they practiced their kissing scene. Blurry because she wants to continue this. Blurry because none of it is set in stone or set borders for, and Juliana doesn’t want to be the first one to ask. 

What if Valentina is not interested in more? But what if Valentina actually feels the same way? 

Idly, she wonders what it would be like to just tell Valentina. To admit it outright. Would it feel good, or would it feel like wrecking one of the only real things she’s ever had in her life for no reason but to appease her own impulses?

The Valentina standing in front of her, eyes vulnerable and honest, makes her want to spill everything. But the Valentina she knows as a costar, the one who she continues to work with and depending on to make the series a success, is the one she can’t lose and the one who makes Juliana want to continue to seal all of it away. 

For better or for worse, Juliana ends up somewhere in the middle. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just feeling confused. Have been actually.”

Valentina reaches out for her, like she wants to grab her hand. She seems to think better of it, though, and her hand drops back to her side swiftly. She shakes her head and takes in a deep breath, then releases it slowly. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, meeting Juliana’s eyes again.

Juliana blinks. “What for?”

“This whole… situation,” Valentina clarifies softly, glancing down and running a hand through her hair. “For making you feel this way. For everything.. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Then what do you mean, Val?” Juliana counters, emotion simmering against the edges of her voice. “Tell me what’s happening, because I can’t see this..” she pauses, gesturing between the two of them. “Whatever this is… leading anywhere. I mean-- It’s not like you’re available.”

The reminder doesn’t even rattle Valentina. She hardly acknowledges it, just looks over Juliana’s face like she’s trying to find something in it. 

“So where does that leave you and me?” Juliana continues, and she lets this linger for a moment. “Where do I fit in? Do you even want me to fit in?”

Something flashes in Valentina’s eyes, but she doesn’t drop Juliana’s gaze. “Yes, of course. You--” She stops and clears her throat, looking like she’s trying to center herself. “You’re one of my best friends, Juls.”

Juliana shakes her head and huffs out a humorless laugh, recalling their earlier scene together. “Well, that sounds familiar..”

Valentina’s eyes widen in recognition, biting her lip so hard it looks like it hurts. “I’m sorry. But that doesn’t make it any less true. You’re very important to me, Juls.” 

“Yeah, well, Jason is just as important to you, isn’t he? If not more,” Juliana challenges, raising her brows. At this, Valentina frowns and looks away, so Juliana starts backpedaling. “I’m sorry,” she chokes out, glancing down briefly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

For several beats, there’s only silence. A battle is happening in Valentina’s mind. Juliana can tell by the nervous shuffle of her feet, the way she bites her lip. Finally, Valentina meets her eyes again, looking every bit as uncomfortable as Juliana feels. 

“Do you really want to know what I’m doing?” Valentina asks, and Juliana nods despite herself, holding her breath. 

Valentina’s expression softens. So does her voice. “Because I’ve been asking myself that same question over and over again, trying to make some sense out of this,” she whispers, before laughing this soft, breathy thing, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater.

“It caught me by surprise,” Valentina continues, clearing her throat around everything that’s caught there. “That first time we kissed. I never thought a woman could affect me… like that. I was trying to convince myself it was nothing, at first. I tried not to think about you. I tried so hard..” she trails off, shaking her head as she tries to figure out how to phrase it better. 

“I tried not to care about you, but I can’t explain it.. It’s like you’re always there, always on mind, even when I try to push you out.” The words come out in somewhat of a jumble, falling over themselves in her haste to get them out.

Valentina’s words slowly sink in, and there’s a lump forming in Juliana’s throat. She doesn’t know why, but she gets a sudden urge to cry. She balls her hands into fists at her sides, ignoring the stinging pain of her palm, pressing her nails into her skin to keep her emotions in check. 

Blue eyes capture her own again and Valentina takes a small step closer. “I felt all these… feelings.. and I couldn’t explain them. And you’re just… you’re always there, Juls.” Valentina lets the words escape her on a breath. 

Swallowing, Juliana lacks words. This conversation is going too fast – she can’t really keep up. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, and she tries to gain control over her lungs. She tells herself to breathe, she tells her heart to slow down, she tells her legs to hold, under Valentina’s intense gaze. 

“Juls, look…” Valentina continues quietly, her face solemn. “If you were anyone else, I could pretend this meant less. But I didn’t kiss you because I thought it might be fun to try it. I kissed you because.. The way I feel about you, it’s.. not like anything I’ve ever felt, for anyone else.” 

Despite coming off as straightforward, her tone is soft and uncertain, and Juliana’s heart rate kicks up another few notches. Valentina always seems a little unsure of herself, but also very sure of herself at the same time. Like, she lacks confidence but has the bravery to say what she wants to say anyways. 

“I have feelings for you, Juliana,” Valentina whispers, and it sounds like she’s apologizing. “I’m attracted to you. I’m sorry.” Now she’s actually apologizing and she bites her lip, her eyes fixated on Juliana’s. “I never meant for any of this to happen. And I don’t expect you to feel the same way. But I just want to be honest with you.”

Juliana is dumbfounded, unable to process it or say anything in reply. Valentina has just told her she has feelings for her. She used to think it was inconceivable that Valentina would ever even find her sexually attractive, but at this point it’s pretty undeniable that Valentina is into her physically. The admittance makes it real, and it’s difficult to get her next words out past the lump in her throat. 

“You-- You have feelings for me?” Juliana finds herself saying, and she can’t help the wonder in her voice. She’s still dumbfounded. 

Valentina exhales in something like a laugh, quiet and soft, shaking her head. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to bring it up for days.. I don’t know how I concluded that just blurting it out was the way to go, but.. sometimes that’s the easiest way.”

Now, Juliana’s lips are stretching in a small smile, in spite of her. She’s shaking all over, and she idly wonders if she’s about to pass out.

“You’re special to me, Juls. I mean it,” Valentina whispers, taking another tiny step toward her. “I thought I could keep my distance.. Keep it light. But my feelings grew, god, they grew so big,” she breathes out on a laugh. “And that day at the restaurant I just realized it was more. You were more.”

Juliana feels a powerful urge to pinch herself, to make sure she’s awake and not dreaming. But she can’t move, can only gape at Valentina, her world spinning on its axes. 

“Juls,” Valentina whispers, smiling nervously. “Say something, please.”

Juliana blinks once, twice, and Valentina’s so beautiful in the dim moonlight, so real and close, that she’s almost too distracted by it to hear her when Valentina murmurs, ”Every time I open my mouth I only end up making things worse, don’t I?”

Juliana quickly shakes herself out of her self-induced trance, because she can’t let this moment slip away. She has to take the chance, give her heart a chance, blocking out the voices in her mind telling her to keep her mouth shut.

“No, Val,” she rushes to get out, taking a small, stumbling step closer. “I feel the same way.”

Blue eyes widen minutely, and Valentina’s breath rushes out of her in a relieved sigh. Juliana throws her a small, shaky smile, and musters up all her courage to finally open up about her feelings.

“I just didn’t think that you’d ever be interested in me.. like that.” She draws in a breath, touches her forehead. “I honestly thought I was losing my mind, you know? I never thought I’d ever be attracted to another woman.”

Valentina huffs out a small, nervous chuckle, while shaking her head. “Me neither.” 

Juliana licks her lips and continues before she loses her nerve. “Before I met you I never even once considered the possibility. I’ve never—It’s never been like this. My feelings for you are so freaking intense, and I.. I don’t know what to do with them. I’ve never been here before, you know?”

And there it is, out in the open. Her feelings on full display in a deserted parking lot. It makes her feel vulnerable and raw, stripped bare like an electrical wire. 

Valentina’s smile is gentle, her eyes soft and shining as they blink at her. “Can I ask you something?”

Juliana nods, biting her lip. “Yeah, sure.”

Blue eyes stare steadily into her own for a moment before Valentina asks, “How do you feel around me?” 

“Alive.” The word escapes her on a breath. She isn’t sure where it comes from, can’t even remember thinking it, but something about it feels irrevocably and unflinchingly true. “You make me feel alive.” 

Valentina’s smile is small, but it speaks volumes. 

“You make me feel alive too,” she whispers, her voice soft and warm and Juliana wants to wrap herself in it. “In a way no one else did before.” 

“Not even Jason?” Juliana can’t help but ask.

“No. God, no,” Valentina chuckles, glancing up at her through her lashes. “Not even close. I thought this was how relationships were. I just.. didn’t know there was another option. And then you happened.” 

Valentina smiles softly, and reaches up to cup her cheek. “When I’m with you.. When you’re kissing me,” her thumb runs across Juliana’s bottom lip, blue eyes following the movement of her finger. “It’s not an act. I don’t want you to stop.”

She leans closer, her eyes burning into Juliana’s. “Because every time I see you all I want to do is kiss you. I want you. I want you so much, Juls.”

Juliana’s breath hitches and she sways a little on her feet, leaning her cheek into Valentina’s palm. She feels tears welling up, but she hides them by closing her eyes. 

“I know I’m in a relationship and this isn’t supposed to be happening,” Valentina continues, smoothing her thumb across Juliana’s cheekbone. “But this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way, and I don’t want to give this up.” 

Juliana covers Valentina’s hand with her own, her touch burning into her skin. She inhales shakily and takes her hand, placing it over her heart. 

“So where do we go from here?” she whispers, opening her eyes once again.

Valentina gives her a watery smile, slightly shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know.. Honestly, I haven’t thought beyond this moment,” she whispers, holding Juliana’s gaze. “But we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Juliana nods her head. If she’s going to do this, if they’re going to do this, they’re going to do it right. And this? This isn’t right. Valentina still has a boyfriend. 

“Okay,” she whispers, biting her lower lip to stop her emotions from getting out of hand. 

Valentina likes her. They’re in love. She can’t believe she didn’t fuck it up. She can’t believe that she really might get to have her, this beautiful girl who is made of the sun, making everything around her look fresher and brighter. 

Blue eyes gaze at her with a nearly unbearable intensity, a sparkle in them that Juliana doesn’t think she’s ever seen there before. And then Valentina slowly steps into her space, leaning their foreheads together and splaying her fingers wide over Juliana’s fluttering heart. 

“We’re good?” she whispers, her breath ghosting across Juliana’s lips. 

“Yeah,” Juliana affirms, her hands finding Valentina’s hips and pulling her slightly closer. “We’re more than good.”

She wonders if Valentina understands the implication of her answer. If she realizes this is Juliana choosing her. Them. But when Valentina gazes up at her with wonder shining in her eyes, Juliana knows she understands. And the bright grin that takes over face is worth all the blurred lines in the world, Juliana decides. 

Then Valentina presses their lips together once more. It’s impossibly gentle but still it seems to steal all the breath from Juliana’s lungs, leaving her gasping and wanting when Valentina pulls away to rest their foreheads together again. She still has her eyes closed. Juliana can feel her breathing, shaky and shallow.

“Okay,” Valentina whispers, and presses a kiss to Juliana’s mouth, to her cheek, to her jaw, “I think—now I definitely should go.”


End file.
